


Organization XIII

by Shikistories



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Asphyxiation, Bruises, Dom/sub, Don't Judge Me, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Masochism, POV Second Person, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sadism, Sexual Harassment, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-10-27 11:51:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 53,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17766278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shikistories/pseuds/Shikistories
Summary: Y/N is a Keyblade wielder, she's been for a while now, but wasn't that good with the Keyblade, so Yen Sid, instead of sending her on expeditions and battlefields, decided to employ her as a spy into the organisation XIII, to find out about the Nobodies' plans. The hardest part was faking the absence of a heart.





	1. Hello

"introducing our newest member" the leader announced as you stepped in the middle of the circular platform, the Nobodies were sitting around you, on their high thrones while yours was the lowest one.

You weren't a Nobody, but a keyblade wielder, sent there by Master Yen Sid to spy the organization's moves. You kind of hated him for it since he knew that your previous Master was killed by a Nobody, at that time you watched the scene and couldn't do anything to help her, you still remember that painful day, but you weren't angry, you didn't want to kill them all or something like that, you were simply afraid of them, being without emotions that can kill without even blinking. 

It was a relatively recent organization, but still, it was complete. As and excuse for not employing dark corridors, you said that the keyblade, being a weapon of those pure of heart, didn't allow such an ability. And it was true. 

During the first day, you were simply presented to everyone, you were told where your room was and you were given a different name, an X was added and the letters were scattered around.

The next day was different, you had to meet one of them, your chosen mentor whose name was Axel. You even warned Yen Sid that you weren't good at disguising yourself, plus your emotions were far stronger than normal people's, and now you found yourself in the middle of a group of beings with no heart. What could possibly go wrong?

 

You exited your room and went down the corridor, looking for Axel, you thought it was you who had to call him or something. You never met a Nobody in normal circumstances before, except for when you talked to Xemnas as he accepted you in the organization, he was a fascinating being on the one hand, but creepy on the other hand. And the reunion of the day prior didn't count.

"Hello" someone said from behind you, you almost jumped out of  your shoes, turning on your heels, it was a tall, red haired guy, you had to admit that he was very attractive, for you at least.

"name's Axel" he said "got it memorized?" he pointed the index at his temple, you blushed at the sound of his voice, he was apparently perfect, you felt like you just developed a teenage crush, there it went the mission of not having emotions.

"u-uhm.." you fidgeted a bit while he kept looking at you, you put your hoodie on, scared that you might be blushing too visibly "I'm Y/N, you're my.. Mentor?" you asked, forcing a calming tone on your voice, you had no idea whether it worked or not

He stretched an arm towards you, taking the hoodie down "no hood with the neighbours" he joked, you couldn't help but smile a little

"so.. What are we doing today?"

"today? You mean till 5 pm, I'm not gonna waste my whole day taking care of the new one like a nanny" he sighed, starting the walk, you followed him, you were quite shorter than him, the Nobody walked faster than you, to keep his pace you had to speed up frequently, he didn't pay attention to it though and you didn't complain, maybe you'd do it in the future.

"wait here" He stopped in front of another room, then entered without knocking just to come out with a small technological device, he gave it to you

"keep it in your pocket. It will notify you when a new mission arrives, also, I put my number on it, so you will be able to call me if you need to know something else after I'm done teaching you"

"oh, thanks, that's kind of you" you said without thinking, he chuckled, it didn't seem weird to you. At all. 

Down another corridor and another in a sequence, he showed you the rooms of your comrades one by one, and their names, they were a lot to remember

"..and up the platform over there there's Xemnas' area and.. we're done"

"that's.. An insane amount to get memorized" you played around, smiling a bit, but not too much

"well, make sure to stick them in your mind." he said while walking away again, you immediately caught up.

Axel showed you some other room, the laboratory, the hallways, the highest peak and after visiting the whole castle, he opened a dark corridor to go somewhere.

It was a forest, not too dark to be creepy, it looked like one of those forests you read about in fairytales, you looked at it in awe, Axel crossed his arms

"liking the view?" he asked, you blushed as the first thing that came to your mind was that the view you liked the most was his appearance, and you would prefer to stare at him than the forest, but you threw those thoughts away and snapped back

"yeah, it's beautiful here"

"do you know how to fight already? Just say yes so we can skip it" he sounded a bit annoyed by the whole teaching thing

"yeah"

"alright" he yawned and stretched his arms and fingers, he looked so human to you, even though you felt a constant aura of tension

He showed you where the forest lead, it was a relatively small town, the sunset gave it a feeling of warmth that you particularly enjoyed. You saw a shop selling ice cream and looked at it, Axel noticed

"what are you, a kid?" he paused "no ice cream on missions, little girl"

"well.. We aren't on a mission right now" you muttered under your breath and he sighed

"I really ended up being a nanny" he was talking more to himself than to you with that sentence

"let's go back now, if Xemnas asks you, tell him I did a great work"

"will do" you warmly smiled at him, and he stayed impassibly stunned for a second before creating a portal to walk through it with you.

Yen Sid told you the Nobodies had special powers, and you even remembered the powers of that nobody that killed your Master, he was scary and apathetic and so powerful your master couldn't beat him.

You wondered what kind of power did Axel have, you actually had a lot of questions about him, starting from his upside down tears. 

He left you at the entrance of the castle and went away without saying anything but yawning again, maybe he didn't sleep the previous night, you thought. 

This was the hard part, remembering the rooms of the Castle. You went ahead and ahead without meeting anyone until you reached a hallway with some blue glowing portals in it. There were symbols on them and you remembered that your mentor said they were shortcuts for the other members' rooms. A pity that you didn't know what your symbol was.

There was a Keyblade on one, so you supposed that was yours. As you stepped ahead you tripped on the dividing line on the floor between one portal and another falling inside a random portal.

 

You touched your mouth getting up since your bottom lip was cut and bleeding a bit cause of the impact with the white floor "I'm stupid" you said to yourself aloud.

"you are" a low voice confirmed, you noticed one of the Nobodies right in front of you, he was probably about to leave the room before you fell in

You got the chills "I'm really sorry, I didn't want to, I slipped on the, on the line on the floor and I fell in here"

His look was quite judging, while the drops of blood didn't want to stop, even though it wasn't much, it was annoying

"I'm sorry, I'll immediately get out.." you tried remembering his name

"Saïx?" it wasn't a question but it sounded like one. In these kind of situations you were totally, emotionally screwd. 


	2. People

There you were, in front of another nobody with a bleeding lip and showing a thousand emotions altogether. Was it a problem? Maybe.

"you got Axel as a mentor, am I wrong?" Saïx asked with coldness in his voice

"y-yeah..I mean, you're not wrong, but it's not his fault as I already explained" a drop of blood fell on your black coat, you noticed cause Saïx's eyes followed it in its fall, then they came back to stare at you.

They were of a dark gold and his hair was light blue, while the weirdest thing was the scar in the middle of his face, in between his eyes. It must have hurt, you thought. 

"I'm sorry I'll go away, sorry" you couldn't stop apologizing as you turned on your heels, but you almost fell backwards as you felt something grabbing your hoodie

"no, stay here now" you followed his order and sighed, hoping he wouldn't call Xemnas like a snitch of a schoolmate. The nobody actually brought out his small device, and with that phone, he called someone

"here there's something that belongs to you. Come pick it up." then he hung up, you frowned, he just referred to you as a 'thing'? That wasn't very polite. 

In a moment Axel appeared next to you and looked at Saïx "what is it now?" he put his palms on his hips, then he looked at you "what are you doing here?"

The blue haired one stared at the scene, you felt really embarrassed

"I stumbled over the dividing line, outside of this portal and.. Well, I fell here, cutting my bottom lip" you knew how stupid that sounded and you were communicating it to two of those Nobodies, Saïx was evidently not happy while Axel sighed and passed a hand through his hair, adjusting it

"you're hopeless.. "

You didn't even look at him for the embarrassment as he pushed you into a dark portal into what would be some kind of infirmary

"you didn't show me this room before" you pointed out

"yeah, forgot it. But apparently this is the only one you will need if you keep on being so-"

"stupid" you finished

"yeah" he grabbed a some cotton and gave it to you

"at least with that you'll stop bleeding around the castle"

You pressed the cotton onto the cut while staring at Axel a bit too much, he was looking out of the window now, his slender figure made your head almost spin with thoughts that weren't innocent, not one bit

"you're hot?" he turned to you and asked

"uhm.. What?"

"your face" a slight smirk appeared on his lips   "is red"

Now, yes, you were cursing Master Yen Sid more than ever

"yeah it's kinda hot in here" you lied

"Mhmh" for a moment silence fell as he crossed his arms and kind of stared at you in a weird way, then he suddenly grabbed your wrist, the cotton fell from your hands

"hey-" he dragged you into a dark portal that lead to your room, then harshly pushed you in and disappeared into his own passage as you fell, luckily this time you fell onto your bed

"that was harsh.." you complained, massaging your wrist. You felt something vibrating and realized it was your phone, you immediately checked on it, thinking it could be a mission or something important.

You were added to a group chat instead, with all of the members, you giggled reading some of the messages they sent, some of them really behaved like.. people, and it bothered you

Did they have the right to be like that? Without a heart, without a conscience, they didn't care about anything except themselves, still..

You put the cellphone back into the coat and got ready to go to bed.

 

The next day, you opened your eyes just to almost jump out of the bed, in front of you, leaning onto the wall, there was Axel, with his arms and ankles crossed "oh, hello there"

He said with a playful tone, you sat up and covered yourself with the blanket since you were just wearing your lingerie "w-what are you doing here? I'm quite naked Axel, you should have knocked!"

You knew you were done for, you were swallowed by your emotions, shyness, embarrassment, worry, it came out, he could see it and he was kind of pleased. 

"it's weird how you got accepted into this Organization, you somehow convinced Xemnas, since maybe, having Nobodies like Demyx and Larxene in here kept it possible for him" he accompanied his words with gestures, while walking towards you, you were now trembling and didn't know what to do, he knew

"but I notice when someone is faking with too much effort" he was now next to the bed, bending down towards you with his hands on his hips

"I.." you opened your mouth

"don't try to keep the act up" he analyzed you with his stare, then grabbed your right wrist as you kept the left one still to hold the blanket

"you're even shivering" he clicked his tongue "this looks like some kind of joke" your wrist started burning, not too much, but it was rising

"I-It burns!" tears formed at the corners of your eyes

"it burns?" Axel chuckled, he still looked calm to you, he took the blanket and yanked it away, you tried to move to get away, but his grip on your wrist was too strong, it stopped increasing in heat as he a kneeled in between your legs, climbing up the bed, then he put his other hand on your naked abdomen

"if you move, I burn you alive" he threatened with a neutral expression on his face, you swallowed loudly and silently nodded in fear, you couldn't stop trembling

"now you'll answer my questions" your wrist was now pinned against the mattress and you already slipped down, he slowly released it just to grab your neck instead

"what are you really doing here?" you didn't answer and he sighed loudly

"why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs.." the hand on your abdomen became so hot you started crying, it lasted just a few seconds in which he also cut your breath with his other hand to not let you scream, then he removed the one from your abdomen and placed it on your hip, you were sobbing and panting

"let's try again.." 

The previous day you thought you could overcome your fear of nobodies, well.. 

"what are you really doing here?" 

You took a deep breath "I'm.. I'm trying to understand the plans of this organization.." 

"good, see? No burn" Axel was torturing you without a bit of sorrow in his eyes, sometimes he even seemed pleased

"Next, who sent you?"

"I decided to come here by.. By myself.." 

The heat made you arch your back, and your breath was cut again for a few seconds. The scariest thing is that he looked like he was actually born to do that, he was fit. The hand on your neck squeezed the right amount to cut the air, but not break your neck, and this last outcome was very possible since his grip when he asked the questions was light, but still firm, and after, in less than a second it became so strong it hurt as much as the burns, maybe more. 

"I.." you sobbed "I was sent by my Keyblade Master, don't make me say the name, please, don't make me.." he leaned closer with his face to your ear "what's his name?" he sensually whispered on purpose 

"I won't tell.." you closed your eyes, the hand on your hips went to your upper thigh, he sighed, repeating the same process as before. 

You felt light headed, the tears kept falling, just like the shivers that didn't stop coming. 

"you know, in these situations someone like me got two options" he gestured with his free hand 

"one, I increase the temperature and the time I burn you" you gulped

"and two, in this case.." you noticed something similar to a smile on his face and you didn't like the thought of what he was about to do. His hand slipped down your abdomen to your vagina and he pressed a the index all inside, you involuntarily moaned, hating your body for making you do that.

"so, do I have to ask the question again?" 

Axel teased, you were suffering inside and outside

"I.." 

"alright" you felt the heat slowly rising

"okay! I'll tell, I'll tell! Please!" 

"I'm listening" the heat went down to a normal temperature

"Master Yen Sid.. He told me to do this, he.. " you sobbed, then took a deep breath to calm you down

"listen to what we'll do now." he removed the finger, earning another slight moan, he couldn't help but look at you when you let that moan escape your lips, holding in a chuckle

"so.. I won't say anything to anyone in this organization. But in exchange, you have to do things for me too, not only normal missions. And you have to get better at hiding your emotions" the red haired one sighed seeing the shivers, the tears in your eyes and the sobs you let out, you immediately nodded

"good" his hand released you from his grip and he got up, walking towards the door

"get up and get ready" he stopped right before opening the door

"oh and, by the way, you were really wet" he neutrally looked at his hand before exiting the room. 

You grabbed the blanket and hugged it with strength, then started crying, muffling the sound with the cloth. 

And you thought they really were people, Axel more than the others, turns out he's the most heartless one. The burns left scars, you didn't know if they were permanent, while your neck was developing bruises, you could feel it. 

For someone with the fear of spiders, this would have been like being tortured and harassed by a good-looking spider, I guess, but still, you had to get up and ready.

The worst thing was the last one he said, you thought and it tormented you like nightmare, it wasn't normal, it wasn't okay. 

 


	3. Sunset

You had to pull yourself out of your crisis and so you did.

After a few minutes you went to the bathroom, the scars were red and, touching them, you let out whine, it hurt, even moving or stretching gave the same result, your neck was reddish and purple, it would probably become heavily bruised later on, the cut on your bottom lip was the sweetest one now.

You put your coat and clothes on, even though it was painful. You zipped it as high as possibile to hide your wounds before checking your phone, there was a mission for you, it was about destroying three particular heartless, three neoshadows in the Twilight Town forest.

You swallowed since now it was time to look for Axel, he had to take you there, you went around the castle looking for him, hoping to not get into more troubles, you bumped against someone after turning a corner

"oh sorry, I didn't see you"

"you're the new one" he had a funny voice and wasn't as tall as the other Nobodies you met, he stretched his hand towards you and you shook it

"I'm Demyx" he said, smiling

"I'm Y/N" you smiled back at him, this time you were only getting good vibes from this guy

"do you know where Axel is? I have to go on a mission and since I can't open portals.."

"Axel? Nah, I don't know, that hedgehog prolly got his flames up in a bunch" he commented, rolling his eyes a bit before looking at you in a better way 

"are you cold? Wearing the coat like that"

"yeah, a bit" you confirmed, you were about to thank him and go away, but he spoke first

"wanna have something to eat?" you frowned, why did Axel find out about you faking it, and then this guy was a normal member of the organization? 

"uh, sure"

"come with me then" you followed the guy, he went into a room that Axel had shown you before, a big kitchen

"so.. I usually can't get my hands on pre-cooked or just ready meals, but we can cook some of this" he announced while taking some eggs out of the fridge, you couldn't help but smile, he was cool

"do you know how to cook?" Demyx asked "uh.. No"

"me neither, but we'll get something out of this, I'm still alive as you can see"

The two of you managed to make some scrambled eggs, he finished eating earlier and sat on the kitchen counter

"so," he started "wanna see something?"

You nodded with a mouthful of food, a sitar came out of nowhere right into his hands and he started playing, he was good

"dance, water!" the sitar produced some watery figures, dancing around, you were mesmerized as you finished your meal.

Their power were really fascinating and in this case, he wasn't even doing anything wrong, just playing an instrument and making water dance.

But suddenly they evaporated, you looked at Demyx to understand what happened, but he was frowning while looking at the Nobody that just arrived, Axel, you jumped out of your seat

"Axel, why do you always have to spoil the fun! We were having fun, weren't we, Y/N ?" he complained

"yeah, we were"

Axel sighed at your alliance "look, I've had enough of this childish atmosphere" he summoned a portal and gestured you to go in there

"and Demyx, stop wasting your time, would ya?"

You and Axel vanished, just to appear at the entrance of the Twilight Town forest, he started walking down into it, you didn't, so he turned around and crossed his arms, staring at you with an apparently serious look

"so? Are you waiting for something to come pick you up?"

"n-no.." you couldn't find the strength to look up at him, your heart was racing, you didn't know what it was for, maybe fear

"can't I get Demyx as a mentor..?" you feebly asked

"as if asking Xemnas to do such a thing wouldn't show the heart inside that little chest of yours" he scoffed, it was true. 

"and Demyx can't even be responsible for himself, let alone someone else." he resumed his walking, you went with him this time. 

Sometimes, during the walk to the mission point, he would look at you from the corner of his eyes. 

Once you found the neoshadows, it was easy to eliminate them, certainly easier than resisting the physical pain you felt the previous day.

You panted as your Keyblade disappeared, a sharp pain hit your abdomen and you sat down on the grass for a second. 

"get up, no time to rest" Axel didn't fight, it wasn't his mission after all, you were kind of curious to witness his capabilities though, also scared after what he had done to you. 

"wait.." you took a deep breath "I got a sharp pain cause of the burn, I think.." you sighed

He grabbed you by your scarred wrist, making you whine in pain and dragged you up

"now listen closely." he started, releasing you " there are a few members you should avoid, they got a keen eye and, or, are quite dangerous by themselves." the Nobody was gesturing as he talked

"first one, Saïx, you already know him. Then don't get too close to Xemnas, although I doubt you ever will. Third is Marluxia and fourth is Xigbar, the eyepatched, you'd also better avoid Vexen" 

"..and you" you added under your breath, he heard it

"I simply obey orders" he crossed his arms once again, dead serious

"well, you weren't ordered to hurt me" you fidgeted, looking away 

"I've been compassionate with you, I usually do worse" chills ran down your spine. 

"and I'm your mentor, can't include me in this list" 

"I think you should though.." you sighed, feeling some kind of anger inside of you, as if you wanted a reaction from him, like a compassionate reaction, it was what you were used to. When your Master was still alive, she was very caring and supportive, if you hurt yourself during combat, she would be there for you, same with your friend who trained with you and was killed by that Nobody. 

You unzipped your coat to show him the deep blue and purple bruises on your neck, he looked at it for a second, impassible

"so what?" 

His lack of empathy astonished you, it was still hard to remind yourself that Nobodies had no heart whatsoever. You sighed and zipped it back. 

"why does Demyx look like he has a heart?" you shily asked

"some of us remember what it was like, feeling. We remember it externally, we can't really  _feel,_ it's an illusion to deceive others, sometimes to deceive ourselves" 

"how can you be sure?" 

He pointed at your neck "I could be compassionate with you, I kind of remember the right reaction to similar events, but I don't care inside of me, I don't feel anything. Demyx is one of those who tries catching up with some feelings he saw or remembers, but he has none." he explained "we all kinda miss them in a way" 

Maybe he was right, you were just at the beginning after all, the majority of the details about Nobodies were still unclear to you. You knew nothing. 

 

The two of you went back to the castle, then you parted, Axel on his way, you on yours. You were headed to your room to rest a bit, but you saw Demyx running towards you "hey!" 

He said "wanna come to a cool place?" he looked hyperactive. You didn't actually care about his feelings right now, whether he had some or not, he was still good company. 

"sure" you smiled at him. 

And you were back to twilight Town, on a tower you didn't notice before, he sat down on the edge and that was a challenge for you, it was too high and you were afraid of falling down, so you kept standing with your shoulder against the pillar, Demyx didn't find it weird, to each one his own.

"do you remember anything about your past as a somebody?" he asked, playing a bit with his instrument

"no.. I don't. Do you?" 

He looked at the sunset "Maybe something. I don't know." he turned around a bit "you know, the thing we ain't got hearts.." 

"yeah?" 

"it ain't true man, it ain't." he sighed "I think I can feel things, but they say they're just last memories or something and that it's fake." he looked down towards the ground

"well, Demyx, I don't know. I think I feel something too, but we're.. Nobodies after all" 

Then he snapped out of it, changing the subject "how is it going with the fireworks?" 

You giggled at how he referred to Axel "well, he's cool, I mean, hot" 

He started laughing louder than expected and you did too, laughter really is contagious.

"yeah, Larxene is always trying to touch him, you know, hand here, hand there, and he's always ignoring her, it's hilarious, one day maybe he'll snap and we'll really see some good fireworks" 

You laughed again, until both of your phones vibrated, Demyx checked it "it's the group, look at them, mission here, mission there, Kingdom Hearts, like I care about that" he typed something and shoved the device back into the pocket

"you don't care? Then what are you doing here?" you tilted your head, you doubted the majority of the members knew the true plans of the organization anyway. 

"guess I'm here to regain my heart and go back being a human" 

You kind of felt that, deep inside your heart, he was a good person, Nobody, whatever, he was good. 

"you two again?" Axel appeared from behind a pillar, Demyx almost fell down, but you helped him keep his balance

"I was starting to wonder why you were both missing. And now I'm the nanny of two" he loudly sighed

"you gotta do something, get up" he was talking to you, so you did as he ordered

"and Demyx" he paused, looking at him "..whatever" Axel opened a portal and you headed inside, your friend got up too 

"hey wait, we were having a good time! What's wrong with you?"

But you two were already gone. 

 

While walking down a corridor you checked your phone, the message Demyx typed before was

'why don't you shut up and drink some vodka'

You laughed at it, Axel noticed  "what are you laughing at?" 

"Demyx, he's lovely. I don't really know how you all can keep it together" 

"I wonder too" you looked at him for a second before entering a room

"this is Zexion" Axel presented him to you "he needs a help. Now bye" 

"w-wait!" but he vanished into the darkness, you sighed 

"must be hard working with Axel" he said. He was a young man with dark blue hair that covered his right eye, in hand he held a book, well.. Over the hand, it was fluctuating. 

"it is" you scoffed "what is it that you need help with?" you cautiously asked

"I was reading some spells and remembered that there was one book in particular that I wanted to read, I used magic to attract it, but I kind of made a mess and they all fell down" 

You looked behind his back, the library was empty since all of the books were on the floor

"so.. I have to put them back in?" you face-palmed at the thought, how the hell did he manage to make them all fall? 

"exactly, in alphabetical order, I'll come check later" Zexion exited the room. 

To be an organization, you thought they would at least be organised. They weren't. 

That task took the day away from you, Zexion checked on you when you were halfway and now you were finally done, you also sneezed a few times because of the dust. 

"great work, you're free to go" Zexion complimented you

"thank you" you walked out, finally free. Looking at the cellphone you noticed at least thirty messages from Demyx, asking where you were, what you were doing and if you were free. 

You replied that you had to fix a problem for Zexion and you were going to sleep since you were tired. The situation made you smile, he was cute and you were growing affectionate to him. The day didn't go that bad, but you were happy it was finally over. 

 

 


	4. More work

You were upset, the whole night you couldn't sleep because someone in the corridor kept hammering walls or dropping things or something like that.

You got up and got ready in the morning after checking the scars, they were like the day prior and the bruises were even worse.

You got out of your room and went to the kitchen, where you and Demyx had breakfast together.

"what do you have to do today?" he asked

"missions with Axel or alone I guess" you were putting the plates into the dishwasher and noticed that the kitchen was always empty.

"hey Demyx, why don't the other members come eat in the morning?"

He pushed himself back into the chair he was sitting on "well, you know, Axel doesn't care enough to eat, Vexen is always inside his laboratory and, if you ask me, I say he eats human meat in there"

You laughed and he did too before going on "Xemnas is too godlike to come, Saïx is too obsessed with his missions and Xemnas' orders for him, then.. Laexeus, I don't know, he's prolly smashing some assholes, Xaldin the same, Zexion I don't know" he rolled his eyes back

"I don't remember.. Oh yeah, Larxene can't stand us, me in particular, Marluxia is always busy, Luxord is constantly playing card games in other worlds, Xigbar can't find the kitchen cause he got an eyepatch, can you imagine the scene? He walks and, dong, face against the door " the two of you burst out laughing

"I never met him you know!" 

"well, don't meet him, he's ugly" he scoffed and you giggled again 

"in conclusion, I don't know if they eat or what they eat, actually, we're lucky, there's more for us and the shopping mission gets rarely assigned" he jumped up the chair and stretched, getting his sitar ready to rock

"who's ugly?" an eyepatched man looked at you, you immediately straightened up, worried

"you are, Xigbar" your friend announced, the other nobody's smirk didn't vanish though, his attention shifted to Demyx

"whatever Demyx" and went away. He also had a scar on his face, he was scary, like the other nobodies, well.. Not Demyx though. He just fell from the chair, and you even laughed at him.

"you need a hand?"

"nah, nah, I'll make it" you gave him a hand anyway, but in the process, he noticed your bruises on the neck, he frowned

"did some heartless badly hit you?" he asked, curious

"what? Oh" you assumed he noticed the neck "no.. I mean, yes" you corrected yourself

"that's weird. Did Xemnas torture you or something? I mean, Xaldin did hit me in the face back then when I joined, and Larxene is always bullying me" he scoffed with a smile on his face

"but hey, what about you?" his smile dropped, he seemed concerned, but you knew he couldn't actually be

"not Xemnas, you know.." you fidgeted and swallowed, not knowing whether to tell him it was Axel or not

"ohh, it was Axel wasn't he? I knew it" the nobody crossed his arms

"how, how did you guess that?"

"well, you never met Xaldin, Laexeus, Luxord, Vexen and Marluxia cause they're all away or busy, then there's Xemnas, but you said it wasn't him, Larxene isn't strong enough, Zexion isn't the type, Xigbar just came back, either Saïx or Axel, and I guessed Axel cause he's your mentor?"

Your eyes widened, whoever said he was stupid, was stupid instead. You nervously caressed the back of your neck

" yeah.. Ahem. Yeah. " you snapped back again into your character

"why though?"

"he's just a harsh teacher" you lied through your teeth, Demyx probably believed it cause he changed the subject

"by the way, useless to try hiding it" he moved the zip of your coat downwards so that your neck was fully visible, he was right, it didn't hide almost anything

"I didn't notice it before cause I thought they were shadows, but you know, I'm stupid." 

"you're not stupid" you disagreed

"Mhmh" he hummed and the sound reminded you of the night prior

"oh Demyx, what was tonight's sound? Something in the corridor?" you asked

He looked at you quite confused, then smiled "ghosts"

"ghosts?"

"like in every haunted castle" he gestured and you laughed at it, your friend probably didn't know the causes of that sound either.

"okay then, now I gotta go or Axel will definitely kill me, bye, see you around"

"see you later Y/N" 

It warmed your heart. He was a friend now, no doubts, you only wished he could have a heart to feel the same thing. 

 

You knocked at Axel's door, but no one opened, so you went to the portals room, but his portal was closed. You sighed and the thought of asking to the leader crossed your mind, but it gave you severe anxiety just thinking about it. So you took your phone and called Axel

"where the hell are you?" he asked, quite annoyed

"oh! I'm sorry, I'm in the portals room, I knocked on your door but you weren't inside"

"I'm almost never in my room" he hung up on your face and immediately appeared behind you, bringing you with him in a world you had never seen before.

 

It was a dark place, the moon was up into the sky, but it didn't light almost anything, there were also just a few lamps to lighten up the dark. 

"where are we?" you looked around

"Halloween Town." he looked at you "Don't get too spooked and die on me, I'd be held responsible" 

He started walking onwards and you walked next to him, running a bit when his steps were too fast for yours. There was a fountain with green water and giant pumpkins here and there, skeletons too. Axel stopped in front of a young lady, She had a lot of stitches and looked as if someone had assembled her, as the Nobody started talking, you looked around cause of a hiss sound coming from next to your feet, a snake was about to bite you, you instinctively jumped and held tight onto Axel's arm, closing your eyes, he didn't move, you heard him keep talking instead, but when you opened your eyes you saw that the snake was dead and its body burning in flames.

The girl and Axel were done talking, she was gone now. You were still attached to his arm, trembling, not for the snake, but for him again, it was almost a habit. 

You carefully left his arm, he was observing you with a serious expression, you even adjusted his sleeve, embarrassed

"thanks.." you said, almost in a whisper, he sighed instead "stop being so afraid of me, keep that for when we'll be real enemies"

It probably wasn't, but it sounded like a threat to you and didn't make the situation any better.

During the walk you reached a graveyard "w-where are we going?" you stuttered

"what? Didn't you listen?" he asked with a hopeless tone

"I'm sorry.. This place kind of scares me"

"is there something that doesn't scare you?" a simple rethorical question that you ignored was rethorical

"Demyx"

He chuckled at your answer before stopping his steps. You wondered what happened and looked ahead, there was a huge heartless that you saw before, but never battled, a Behemoth

"A-Axel, I don't know if I can beat it" you summoned your Keyblade, insecure

"put that key away, I simply took you with me to show you how it's done. You will get missions like this one."

You stepped back as you noticed two circular weapons appearing in Axel's hands, they had blades too and looked dangerous, how he held them made him more elegant than ever, he was dancing with flames in that battle, it didn't even last as long as you thought it would.

You were mesmerized by his abilities, with a last hit, fire ate the Behemoth alive, your jaw dropped, marvelous.

He came back to you with a sigh, making the war tools disappear

"next time you'll have to fight something like that too, probably" he adjusted his hair, already perfect 

You swallowed, you weren't ready, but you had to prove Xemnas that they could trust you, one way or another. 


	5. Too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of never writing notes, but I wanna let you know that I hope you're enjoying the story c:

"Demyx, this is gonna go bad, really bad, bad for you and worse for me" you crossed your arms listening to the Nobody's nonesense.

A day passed from your visit to Halloween Town, and now you were in your room with Demyx talking crazy

"no, no listen, he'll be there today, I'll simply throw water on him, what's wrong with that? It's a joke, a joke!" he insisted

"I know but he's gonna burn me alive later for that! And you will only get sent to Xemnas or something" you complained, he wanted to be a joker with Axel because of the bruises and it was the best he could think of, basically, other bruises.

"look, they're still visible, I don't want him to bruise me again"

"yeah I thought that too with Xaldin, but he didn't hit me again.. Twice, he just hit me once and then he stopped"

He looked hyperactive to you "we can't"

"come on!" he begged

You sighed loudly "alright, just this one"

"yes!" he was enthusiastic, you laughed at the thought that you just had that conversation with someone with no heart. Weird.

"I got the water, so, now we gotta infiltrate in his room, but how?" Demyx was now talking to himself

"oh right! We can activate the portal"

"huh?" you leaned against the wall, listening

"In the computer room there are switches for those portals, we'll go there and activate his without anybody noticing"

"you got high hopes, don't you.. Alright" you straightened up, after all it sounded normal for Demyx to do these kind of things, you were just following the trend.

The two of you went down different roads that lead to the computer room, you didn't use the portals cause Demyx said he had to do something first, so you went by foot. 

You met a light blond older man in the corridor, he ignored you and directed into the laboratory, he was probably Vexen, while later on, you met Saïx too, your muscles tensed at the sight of his figure coming your way.

You hoped with all your heart that he wouldn't stop you, but in a place where no one had a heart, that was a difficult task. He stopped you, grabbing you by the arm and making you turn towards him

"y-yes?" you asked with insecurity, trying not to show it though.

He wasn't looking at your face, his hand went to your neck and cupped your jaw, pressing it up so he could better see your throat and probably the bruises, you felt a bit of pressure against your skin, induced by his other hand, you whined

"it hurts.."

He released you, wearing a judgemental look "who did that to you? Betrayal or discipline?" his voice was as cold as you remembered it

You stretched your neck "discipline.." you muttered loud enough for him to hear. He seemed satisfied with that answer and went away, you looked at him walking past the corner before going on with your personal mission.

Your heart was racing, but maybe you were starting to learn how to handle Saïx, he was just a cold piece of meat after all.

You arrived at the room, Demyx was already there "what time does Axel arrive?" you asked

"either one or two pm"

"either? Man you said you knew, I don't wanna wait a hour, I gotta go on missions and you should too" you sighed

"come on, trust me" he pressed a button on the computer and a figure appeared behind you, making you two jump

"who the hell opened my portal?" a blonde girl complained with a bitter tone and a harsh voice

"ah go away Larxene, we're working here, look" Demyx pressed the same button  "now it's closed" he said, annoyed

"next time you do it, I'll kill you, idiot" she showed you two the middle finger and went away, you were weirded out

"she was.. Larxene?"

"yeah, she's a bitch right?"

"quite.." the two of you giggled before focusing on the computer

"I think this is the one" you announced after checking the chart, you pressed the button you were referring to and a light appeared on Axel's symbol in that chart.

"good! Let's go!"

The two of you went inside through the portal and closed it from there, the room was as big as Saïx's and you noticed how everything was in order. There wasn't much forniture, just a little table next to the wall with a sofa around it, a library with books, a desk with some objects on it, probably coming from other worlds, all of this was pressed against the left wall while the bed and wardrobe were ahead, against the front wall, there was nothing next to the windows on the opposite position from the main forniture.

Demyx was about to touch something on the library, but you blocked him "don't touch anything Demyx! There's the risk you would break it"

He sighed and stopped "alright.."

"listen up though, couldn't we use a dark portal to come here?"

"nope, the mechanism closes everything, the portal would appear, but you wouldn't be able to traverse it, or something like that, Xigbar explained me once" 

"oh, alright, and now what?" you crossed your arms "there's no place to hide.."

"under the desk and inside the wardrobe?" he suggested, you giggled

"I think he would see me or you under the desk.."

"then the wardrobe"

 "we can.. Fit in it?" you frowned, it wasn't impossible, but certainly not easy

"then" you added "if you gotta use the sitar to summon water it's even worse, it wouldn't really fit"

"I don't need the sitar, that's just to reach my full potential, you got too little faith in me" he grabbed the wardrobe handle and opened it, it was full of those black coats you were wearing too

"daaamn" Demyx commented "I don't have as many,"

You arrived next to him and, together, you moved the coats to the side "so, who hops in first?" you asked

"you"

You rolled your eyes and got in, Demyx followed, it was quite small, but you two could fit almost perfectly. A pool of water started floating over the door and another one over the portal, while, always thanks to his powers, Demyx closed the wardrobe and let just a little gap between the doors to check the entrance, you were smiling cause it was really fun, almost forgetting about the possible outcomes.

After five minutes of waiting, the door opened and the water fell over Axel

"what the.."

The two of you started laughing until Demyx lost his balance and fell outside, you fell over him

You didn't really want to look up, you didn't, but you did. Axel was dead serious and you blushed at the sight of crystals of water all over him, he was so handsome, you almost forgot.

And looked annoyed too, steam was rising from his body as water started evaporating, he was really wet and he wasn't literally on fire, so it took a while, the water on the floor was evaporating too. 

You and Demyx got up, you were refusing to make eye contact once more, while Demyx was laughing out loud

"a wet bonfire" he said, you elbowed him in the ribs "ouch, Y/N"

"this is all very funny guys" he adjusted his hair, that didn't lose the spiky shape "but if I were you, I wouldn't do such a thing to my short-tempered superior" He crossed his arms as the water finished evaporating and a thin layer of flames surrounded Demyx, bothering him with the heat, almost burning him

"Axel, he did nothing, come on, don't be cruel to him" you tried defending him

"ouch! Man! I didn't harm you anyway, why do you have to harm me?!" Demyx's water didn't work against those flames, they disappeared right after and the red haired one threw the Nobody into the portal "I'll take care of you later" he said.

Now you were alone with him, with a stupid fake smile on your face, trying to ignore the trembling of your legs, he turned to you "so, what told you that this was a good idea?"

A flame appeared for a second into his hand, then he closed it into a fist and the fire vanished, just a showoff, you thought

"l-listen.. Axel, it was just for fun, no harm intended, we're all good" you tried convincing him as he got closer

"if there's a thing I share with Saïx, that's respect and discipline from rookies towards superiors" he didn't really sound pleased, but not even angry. He looked at your throat and noticed that the bruises were still there.

"you don't really like to harm people, right?" you swallowed "and a-aren't we friends?" his hand came to your chin, lifting it up

"we aren't" 

You earned yourself a slap, a hard slap, he didn't burn you, punched or anything, he slapped you. Fair enough. But you still had to grab onto the wall to not fall after that, a stripe of blood went down your lip, you wiped it off with your hand, it really hurt, but still better than what he did to you at first. 

Tears formed at the corners of you eyes, but you fought the urge to cry, your hand went to your cheek, touching it, contact hurt. 

"next time you'll think twice before following Demyx"

You and Axel had a weird relationship, of course he was your mentor, but was this necessary? Probably Saïx would do worse though, you were pretty sure about that. 

 

You came back to your room, Demyx was waiting at the door "how did it go?" he curiously asked

You pointed at your red and purplish cheek "this will be another bruise tomorrow"

"well.. It didn't go that bad" you dragged him into your room and closed the door, without saying a word

"wanna see a thing?" you asked him, he nodded, frowning. 

You started unzipping your coat

"wait, wait, what are you doing?"

"just shut up" you took a hold of your black t-shirt and showed him the hand shaped burnt on your abdomen, it was a bit better since the first day, but still bad, his eyes widened

"woo, Axel did it to you now?"

"not now" you clarified "a few days ago" you adjusted your coat, back to normal

"that's not fair you know, just because they said we can't feel emotions, they're kind of abusing us" he paused before starting again

"I said us because of the thing I already told you, Xaldin and Larxene, that's it, yours is.. kinda worse"

You didn't know if he really felt something while speaking, but you immediately thought It was empathy, or maybe you were being tricked again.

"shouldn't we tell Xemnas about it?" you asked, unsure

"noooo" he immediately snapped back "Xemnas wouldn't care, as long as you're alive it's fine by him"

Your phone vibrated, you just received another mission, inside the castle this time, since you were there already you decided to accomplish it.

"sorry Demyx, now gotta go, see you later"

You exited the room "I gotta talk to you today, even at night, it doesn't matter, we gotta meet"  you heard him saying.

Did he really not have a heart? 

 

You ran to Saïx's room, the mission was to help him do something, it was unspecified. As you entered his room, you saw him gazing at the moon and sky, he turned around to face your direction

"I see you must lack a lot of discipline" he noticed your cheek right away, it was already reaching shades of dark purple, you sighed

"it's not like that, me and Demyx did something and Axel got annoyed and I got bruised while he wasn't even punished like I was, but that's okay cause he's funny" you crossed your arms, you were behaving like a person with emotions, it wasn't easy to go from the laid back behaviour you had with your friend to the one you should have with the others.

"so it was Axel"

"what's the task?" you changed the subject

"a talk" you frowned at his answer "it doesn't look like a task to me.."

"where did Xemnas find you?" the blue haired one ignored you, the question caught you unprepared

"can't you ask Xemnas himself?"

"no." he didn't care to explain further

"I-" you couldn't even start the sentence cause a portal swallowed you, next moment you found yourself pinned againt a wall near the twilight Town forest, your wrists hurt

"what did I tell you about Saïx?" Axel's voice echoed in your ears

"why do you care anyway?" you talked back

"you'll have to do something for me in a few days, if they find out about your heart before that, It won't help me at all"

"I don't care about your plans!" you felt weak and sad all of a sudden, a nervous breakdown you supposed.

"You care about your life though" Axel was as calm as always, his voice steady

"I don't, look, just.. just kill me now, it doesn't really matter"

The Nobody stayed neutral, listening to your tantrum "Yen Sid doesn't expect me to be back anyway, he sent me here hoping to get rid of me cause I'm a useless Keyblade wielder, think about it, how can I go back without portals or a gummiship? I can't. My real master died killed by one of you Nobodies and I wasn't strong enough to do anything to help her, Demyx is the first best friend I've ever had and he hasn't even got a heart so he can't feel it like I do and-" you paused, you were crying now.

He didn't move his hands, they were still pinning your wrists to the wall as tears fell down your face, Axel sighed before finally releasing you. 

Almost unconsciously, the moment you were free again, you hugged him tight, sobbing, he didn't hug you back but you didn't care, you needed it. 


	6. Duty over fun

Arms still wrapped around his figure, your head buried in his chest, the sobs were slowly going away as you noticed how calming his breath was, moving his pecs up and down. You felt him doing something just a few times, probably to pass a hand through his hair or to stretch his neck. You wanted that moment to last forever. The fear was still present and you assumed it would never go away, but maybe it was meant to stay, you were still grateful he didn't avoid the hug.

A few minutes passed and you finally let go, taking half a step back. You felt tired, weak, all that crying emptied your chest and you felt lightheaded, he was looking at you with his eyelids halfway, not sleepy though, his expression was neutral, staring down at you. 

"I'm sorry I bothered you with all this.."you whispered, you didn't know if he heard, he probably did

" it's hard being here.. With people without a heart and.. You doing this and that, it's some kind of.. Some kind of abuse I guess.. " your tone was low and your voice was still trembling, you didn't look at him until his left hand went to the wall next to your head, you pressed yourself against the bricks behind you

"your heart is interesting after all, Xemnas said you were going to be.. Something else" a smirk appeared on his face

"Xemnas? Xemnas knew?" you interrupted him, he chuckled without answering

"Axel what.. What the hell is going on?" his right hand brushed your slapped cheek as his face fell back into an almost neutral expression. Then his fingers traveled to your chest and unzipped your coat "w-what are you doing? Wait.." 

"if you oppose, I won't go easy on you, as simple as that" he announced as calm as always, you were already blushing, following the weird pictures in your mind. His gloved hand slipped inside of your trousers and pants, with the rest of his body he was closing much of the distance, but there still was a gap between the two of you

"wait! You still gotta answer my questio-" you moaned feeling his finger entering you, his eyes were locked onto you while you avoided eye contact looking down at his arm instead, your left hand went to that same arm and grabbed it, trembling from time to time, the other one went to his chest, pretending to push him away but not actually putting strength into it.

"p-people will come, don't.. Why.." your face as red as his hair "no one will come, hush" he shushed you as his finger started moving inside, you tried to hold in a moan but failed as the second finger entered you without any warning and your body trembled, a louder moan exited your mouth, hearing yourself you couldn't help moving your left hand from his arm to your lips, trying to muffle your sounds.

At that point, the Nobody entered a third finger, but you were already on the edge, from your mouth the hand went next to the other, but lower and towards his right side, tears formed at the corners of your eyes, as you felt his fingers curling inside of you, he even closed more the distance between the two of you, it was so pleasurable being touched by him like that, you couldn't take it anymore.

The grip on his coat tightened and shivers started running throughout your whole body, making you tremble as you orgasmed, you were now panting and trembling, still refusing to look at him.

He removed the fingers and looked for a moment at his gloved hand, now wet, before letting it fall by his side, still keeping his body almost pressed against yours

You felt paralyzed in that position, panting and holding onto his coat for a while until you spoke "w-why did you do that?" you managed to ask looking at him

"couldn't let you go around the castle with the risk of you crying in front of the organization, could I? So I fixed it in the easiest way" you finally removed your hands from him and he took a step back, leaving you free. With your shaking hands, you zipped your coat up

"can.. Can you answer my question now? About Xemnas?"

"of course he doesn't know. He just said that you would be special because of the Keyblade" he nonchalantly said, you sighed in relief, still holding onto the wall, your phone suddenly rang and you picked it up, Axel observed you from the corner of his eye

"yes?" 

"where are you? I told you I had to tell you something!" Demyx complained

"I know I know, but.. I'm sorry, I'll come right away Demyx" 

"the tower, it's important" and he hung up, you sighed, putting the phone back

"what did he want?" the red haired one asked, crossing his arms

"just to see me. He told me today that he had something important to say, so I'll just go and listen to him, we're friends after all" you heard him chuckling 

"friends with a Nobody" he ironically said

"yeah, friends with a Nobody.." you repeated as he opened a portal

"by the way, you should complete some missions, or I doubt it'll end well in a few days" 

You didn't understand what he was talking about, but didn't dare to ask, you were distracted thinking about how to reach the tower

"wait! Can you bring me onto the tower?" 

"of course I can, but.." he paused "why should I?" his cocky voice echoed in your ears before leaving you there.

 

You let out a loud sigh, you were really attracted to him, but, like all the Nobodies, he acted in his self interest and you had to deal with it. The forest wasn't that big, but not that small either. Somehow you managed to reach the town, then the tower and you had to walk your way to the top, the power of darkness really seemed something good in times like that. 

"Y/N, finally" Demyx noticed you sitting with your back against the pillar, while he was on the edge like usual.

"Hi Demyx, so, what did you want to tell me?" you gave him a half molten ice cream you had bought along the way, he took it and started eating, you were eating one too.

"I never ate this ice cream, it's so.. good, bitter and sweet" he commented "but anyway, I wanted to tell you something.." he looked at the sunset

"what's wrong?" you frowned at all the suspence

"you aren't a Nobody, are you?" you didn't know if he was serious about that or just joking. 

"what.. What do you mean?" you giggled "o-of course I'm a Nobody" 

"nah, I don't know, I don't think you are, you feel real to me" 

"what to you mean?" you took another bite of your ice cream, listening carefully

"the other members.. They don't feel real to me, they feel.. Fluctuant, I don't know how to explain it. Something that doesn't really have.. A substance, but you?" he was almost done eating the ice cream already "you got substance, you feel real" 

"well Demyx, I don't know if this could help you.. But you feel real to me too, even Axel feels real" you smiled at him, maybe he was simply feeling you as a friend and described it like that

"what about Saïx? Or Xigbar? Do they seem real to you?"

"Not really, I think it's about.. Connections" 

"then we really do have a heart after all" Demyx looked at the stick in his hand "winner?" he read "what does it mean? Does yours have it?" 

You looked at yours and shook your head "it doesn't. Guess it's your lucky day Demyx" 

"guess it is." 

Silence fell for a while, it wasn't awkward and it wasn't the painful kind of silence, it was the soft and warm kind, the rare one that you appreciated, until you opened your mouth to speak

"Demyx, What if I don't go on missions?" 

"huh? What are you talking about?" the Nobody turned to face you

"what would happen?" 

"well.. The three days I didn't go on missions when I first came in this Organization, Xaldin kinda threw me into the castle basement and left me there for like.. A week" 

"why is that?" you wanted to understand Axel's sentence of earlier

"Xemnas put up the rule that If a Nobody, except some of us, skips missions about smashing heartless for a three days, his mentor gotta punish him, if he ain't got a mentor anymore, Xemnas decides and that sounds bad, so every three days I go on a mission, you know"

You laughed "lazy ass" he threw the stick at you in response and you threw it back "think about yourself, you didn't do your duty today, be ashamed" he joked. 

"I will certainly do it tomorrow!" 

 

The two of you passed a few hours together, laughing and talking about stupid things, then you went to bed and slept tight until the morning after.

Your phone woke you up, a new mission, it was Vexen asking for help. You put your clothes on and went to the kitchen for your morning encounter with Demyx and breakfast together, he was there as always and will always be, you smiled at him. 

"good morning Demyx" you said while taking some bread out of the fridge, he was sitting on the table in the middle of the room

"not a good morning, but nice to see you" 

"what happened?" you took the marmelade jam and put it on the bread, then started eating while standing, you were in a hurry after all

He sighed and pointed towards the back of the room, Saïx was sitting on a chair, looking at some papers, you almost choked on the bread

" what is he doing here? Eating?" you whispered to Demyx

"I don't know, he was here already when I arrived, he didn't eat anything since" 

Saïx looked at you for a moment and chills ran down your spine, you swallowed "alright I.. I gotta go, see you Demyx" 

He was quite confused as you ran away from the kitchen and headed to the laboratory, where Vexen was waiting for help, you hoped it wouldn't take too much time cause you had to go to real missions and avoid being scolded by your mentor. 

 

You knocked on the heavy metal door and it opened, letting you in and closing behind you, you looked around. The place was full of desks and bottles with liquids of any kind, weird pieces looking like human parts that you decided to ignore and a wall full of compartments, like in a morgue. You got chills, it was a colder room than the others. 

"oh there you are, finally" Vexen was writing something on paper while standing and bending over the desk, you got closer

"uh.. What's wrong?"

He looked at you for a second before turning to his papers, then looking at you once again, frowning "I see you made someone mad, I hope it didn't give you a concussion cause you'll need your head to do this"

He straightened up, you didn't get it at first, then understood that he was talking about the slap bruise on your cheek, you sighed

"no.. It's alright, what's the task?"  you asked, he explained you that you had to check the list he just wrote and go buy what's written on it, then he went away.

You took the list and exited the castle. The World that Never Was was huge and you never really visited it properly, so you had to find the shops without any guide, plus some ingredients were extremely rare and one of them had to be ordered and would arrive the day after. It took you the whole day and it even rained, so when you came back to the castle, you were so wet Demyx's dancing water looked almost dry. 

You put the box inside the laboratory with a post it that warned about the last ingredient and sat down on a sofa in the hallway with your wet clothes and boots on, only the coat wasn't wet. 

You had to rest a bit before going back to your room and take a hot shower

"you're wetting the sofa" a voice said, you immediately got up, worried, in front of you there was a man with pink hair, he wasn't angry, he was just pointing it out. 

"I'm.. I'm sorry, and who are you? I never met you around" 

"I'm Marluxia, I heard you're helping a lot of the members out with their personal tasks, I require your help for tomorrow, come to my room and knock, I'll tell you the details." 

And he walked away, he went straight to the point and didn't waste time with other subjects, you would describe him as Royal, event though he probably wasn't. 

You walked to your room and took a warm shower that made you feel even more tired, but still good, then peacefully went to bed. 

 

 


	7. Three days

"Y/N" you heard a voice "Y/N.. Wake up" two hands were shaking you, you decided to open your eyes

"Demyx? What is it? Let me sleep, I'm tired.." you yawned

"Y/N, it's 2 pm" you jumped out of your bed

"what?!" then put your clothes and coat on and exited the room, but Demyx grabbed you by the forearm "the shoes"

"damn" you went back and put on your boots too, then ran away "not even a thank you?"

You heard him asking "you could have woken me up earlier!" you scoffed as you turned the corner to reach Marluxia's door, you knocked, panting, he opened it almost right away

"finally, I expected you earlier"

You blushed in embarrassment and nodded "I'm sorry, I was.. busy"

He didn't seem to mind while opening a portal and leading you to another room of the castle, one full of papers, your jaw dropped

"these are all missions you should help me pile over the desk, following the date of accomplishment and the nobody who completed it. Good work"

"w-wait" you stopped him "do I have limited time?"

"you have all the time you desire, dear" and he disappeared, the Dear sent shivers down your spine, not the Axel kind of shivers, another kind, not a good one. You sat down and passed the whole day, until midnight, piling the papers until you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore.

Demyx came to see you and even tried to drag you away,  but you had to finish it, from 11pm to midnight he stayed with you, waiting for you to finish. 

 

"done!" you sighed, feeling a relief you never felt in decades, you got up and headed to the door

"I'm so relieved, damn, that was hard"

"yeah, well, want an advice?" Demyx was adjusting his Sitar

"sure" you crossed your arms on your chest

"avoid Axel from now on" the Nobody scoffed

"why?" the two of you were now walking down the corridor "I did complete missions"

"but I told you.. you forgot? Missions involving heartless!" he looked at you like you were the most hopeless person in the world

"tomorrow I'll do it, no problem"

"well.. Now it's tomorrow already"

"he won't get me now" you joked, your friend grabbed you by the arm and dragged you into his room, since it was near you

"what's this about?"

"I saw Axel"

"you think he already knows?" your worries were growing heavy

"he surely does and if you want my opinion, I'd say Axel is worse than Xemnas in some aspects, just imagine" you sat down on a chair in his room while listening and watching him mimicking your mentor with a stupid smile on your face, perhaps you were underestimating the situation 

"drin drin he hears his phone ringing, vibrating or whatever, he looks at it and reads that you didn't do what you should have and new members gotta be disciplined" Demyx was even trying to fake his voice at times, failing, but at least he made you giggle

"he sighs and is really annoyed by the task, cause it's like.. Wasting his time or something, so he looks for you, finds you, drags you away, burns your whole body in flames since he doesn't wanna waste too much time, leaves you agonizing and that's all"

You kept listening as he continued "but Xemnas? He would like, do things carefully, in a precise and controlled way, not following instinct like the firetruck"

"actually.. I think Axel is very skilled and precise too in what he does" you remembered the time he found out that you had a heart

Demyx stopped gesturing "well.. I never saw him torturing anyone, but I saw him killing, he's like an executioner and.. You know, he does those kind of dirty jobs, Xaldin is way softer"

You were really interested in this new info, a stupid idea came to your mind "Hey Demyx, what's Xigbar like?" you teased, knowing how he would answer

"ohh I see what you're doing" he made the sitar disappear "you want me to impersonate him, let's go" the Nobody put an eyepatch of water on his right eye

"I'm Xigbar, I can shoot glowing bullets and I lost my eye in some stupid way" he shot a few water bullets towards the wall and walked right against that same wall "ouch, If I wanted to walk into a room, I wouldn't be able to"

You laughed so much you felt your body almost melting, then you got up, euphoric "my turn! Guess who it is"

You took four rubber bands you found on the Nobody's desk and put them on your arms to make the coat adhere, while your friend sat down on the chair you were previously sitting on, you started walking around in a cocky way, gesturing

"I don't like Saïx, nor physical contact, I hate Demyx cause he's stupid like Larxene, you rarely see me inside the castle and I'm almost never in my room, I don't wanna waste time, this is all boring, oh and once I set ablaze the christmas tree-"

You stopped talking as Demyx stopped laughing and pointed towards the door behind you, your muscles stiffened and you didn't want to turn around, you heard that person clapping and decided to turn to face him

" A-Axel, we were just playing" you gave him an awkward smile.

"great acting" he leaned over a little saying that joke as you immediately removed the rubber bands, then he grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you out "now it's time to talk" 

"wait, Axel, we were just playing, for real!" Demyx tried following you, but a wall of flames obstacled him.

You wanted to stop, but the nobody was too strong and his grip on your wrist was hurting like hell, it didn't burn, it was just strong

"i-it hurts Axel! I can walk by myself!" you complained

"shut up. Or you want the others to find out about your heart? They could hear you" his tone of voice was low and provoking in some way, you shut your mouth and kept following him to the lowest point of the castle, it was quite cold, but you were sure he was about to heat up the atmosphere in the worst way possible. 

Axel pushed you behind some bars, the whole place looked like a jail, you were now caged inside it while he was standing at the entrance with his hands on his hips as you caressed your wrist, it was red and throbbing because of the strength he used, you seriously thought he could have broken your bones like that.

"it's unnecessary, tomorrow I'll go on a normal mission, like always, Axel come on.." you used your most submissive tone to make him understand that you will do what you're meant to even without being punished

"Xemnas set rules, I'm just following orders, are you afraid, Nobody?" his voice was a constant taunt, you didn't answer, but looked away from him instead

"get over there" he hinted atvthe dark blue table in the corner, you didn't ask questions until you noticed metal handcuffs both for hands and ankles "Axel.. This isn't a table or a bed.."

"I won't cuff you, or you would die" you didn't understand the meaning of It in the beginning, but the way he said that sentence, not minding it a bit, made a heated shiver go throughout you, you wondered if he was talking about the flames and the consequence of metal melting

 "can't you.. Like.. Tell Xemnas that you did what you had to without actually doing it?" you tried, but he chuckled, getting closer

"why should I? I prefer this than being bored all day after all" you tilted your head, you thought these kind of things bored him too, looks like you and Demyx were wrong

"lie down, or I'll have to make you" a flame appeared in the palm of his hand, it disappeared when he closed his fingers in a fist, you swallowed and did as he ordered

Your body was shaking and it didn't certainly calm down when he climbed up it too, positioning himself like the first time.

He unzipped your coat, but as he started dragging up your t-shirt to show your bra, ribs, abdomen and hips, you instinctively put your hands on his chest, trying to push him away, so he had to grab them both and pin them over your head with a hand. 

Even with both of your arms you couldn't gather enough physical strength to be troublesome for him, and it involuntarily turned you on, you scolded yourself for being turned on by the critical situation you were in

As he grabbed your throat with his right hand, the left one released your wrists, you couldn't move anyway after all. You felt his gloved free hand on your abdomen right after, he was probably looking at the almost healed scar he inflicted you, his face stayed neutral looking at it, you felt chills 

"Axel, please, don't, please.." he didn't start yet and you were already on the verge of tears just by the memory of the pain you felt that day, but you were certain he wouldn't care, he was a Nobody after all. 

 


	8. Burn, baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't read this if you're sensitive.. Just don't. I'm sorry I let myself go too much at times, but don't kill me :'(

Fingers around his wrist, Axel's hand on your neck was warm, any kind of physical contact with him made you instantly blush and your body heat rise up, in any situation, even in the worst ones, like in this case.

You started picturing him as some kind of bomb or explosive that could set off any moment, he could simply burn you alive, set ablaze the whole room, choke you, literally anything, cause he was able to, he had the strength to and probably did it many times to many others. 

You doubted he would kill you though, Xemnas wouldn't be happy about that, but you wondered, you weren't sure that Xemnas would punish Axel for having killed you, Axel's been there for some time, way more time than you, he's a loyal member. That is, if Nobodies can be 'loyal'. 

Your head was spinning with quite the perverted thoughts on the one hand, and the possible torture on the other hand, you were split. 

His left hand pressed against the healing scar on your abdomen, probably to see if it still hurt, it didn't, so he moved the hand under your right breast, but when you started to feel the heat rising, you moved your hands from his wrist to his other arm, trying to push it away, he didn't like that. 

Axel grabbed your right hand and pinned it to the table with strength, making you whimper, his grip on your neck tightened a bit and you started having difficulties in breathing

"You'll only make it last longer" his gloved hand went back to its previous spot, heating up faster this time as his grip tightened on your neck, you wanted to scream but couldn't because of the lack of air, it was almost completely cut out of your throat. 

The heat was unbearable, worse than the previous time, it stopped only an instant before you could faint, and now you could breathe again

You took a deep breath, panting loudly "I-I know.." you managed to say "I know why you're such an expert in this.. You're the executioner.." your voice was almost a whisper, he was looking at you with his piercing eyes

"just icky jobs" he replied with an almost annoyed tone, but he wasn't annoyed

His hand went up, under your bra, feeling his hand there made you arch your back a bit "w-wait please not there, please.. Axel, don't" your pleas didn't afflict him as he moved up the left side of the bra, revealing your breast and putting the hand back on it.

It kind of turned you on again, but you could tell there was nothing sexual in his actions, he was torturing you and he had no intention of doing anything else, let alone giving you pleasure. Thinking about it, he probably didn't mean anything sexual even when he touched you with his fingers, you didn't know. You thought he did neither like or dislike it, but he was certainly interested in something, like someone who found an interesting toy. 

Still, your body didn't get that nothing he did was meant to turn you on, as always. 

As the heat arose, you felt his grip on your throat tightening in a different way, you were just locked to the table now, but you could breathe without too many troubles, tears running down your cheeks, you were literally agonizing, you thought that Inside the whole castle everybody heard you scream. 

When his hand cooled down, you were a crying mess, letting out whimpers every now and then while your body kept trembling under him

"you're shaking" he stated "are you scared?" something close to a smirk appeared on his face, you had to gather some strength to answer

"of course I'm scared.. of course I a-" his left hand went inside your pants again, and you held your breath in, worried he might burn you there too

"Axel.. That's.. That's not.." you even blushed while your hands strengthened their grip on his wrist, he didn't mind it

"I just want to show you something" he clarified, with a cocky tone and expression on his face, you moaned loudly feeling two fingers entering you, he removed them right away, showing you the liquid on his fingers dripping down onto the floor

"it's not normal in this situation, as far as I know"

You cursed yourself again, how could you be aroused? You even wanted him, there and now, but you knew it wasn't going to happen, because for him, it. Wasn't. Sexual. And you were quite sure about that. While for you it was, but it shouldn't be. On the other hand, you didn't know whether Nobodies had a sexual drive or not. You wished he had a strong one. 

The liquid evaporated on his fingers as his hand on your neck started squeezing really hard, your back arched a bit and you let out something similar to a moan, when he heard that, his eyes shifted from his hand on your neck, to your face, he was serious, probably focused, even though he wasn't putting much effort into choking you. 

You started losing consciousness, you didn't know how he did it, but at the perfect limit he stopped squeezing that hard and softened it up instead, you were sure you were about to die that time, but you didn't, you just lost it. Your mind was on a completely different wagon now, like you just developed Stockholm syndrome, but you already liked him so it was quite improbable, you thought. It was weird nonetheless. 

He burned you again on your abdomen, letting you scream like earlier, while the next and last time he choked you till almost unconscious, that time he burned your inner thigh. You weren't sure if all of them left permanent scars, a few of them certainly did, you thought. 

His hands left your skin and he jumped down the table, you didn't move, you couldn't move. The burnt still hurt like hell and you couldn't even move your neck or any part of your body, you simply put your hands on your throat on instinct, he didn't say a word and just disappeared and you fell asleep. 

 

You realized you passed the whole night being tortured by Axel, you only slept a hour in the cell before Demyx woke you up, he looked concerned, you still felt dizzy.

"hell, Y/N, are you okay?" he helped you sit up on the table as you put your bra in his place and zipped the coat up

"I feel.. Horrible" every burn and bruised part of your body, that is, wrist and neck, hurt, at least the bruise on your cheek was slightly better. 

You felt Demyx's hand on your shoulder, as if he wanted to support you "come on, I'll help you get out of here, but we can't use a portal with you in these conditions, you're too weak" 

You nodded, standing up on the floor, you would have fallen hadn't it been for the Nobody. The two of you went up and through a corridor, headed to the infirmary

"I'm not good with these things.. Damn it" he commented while searching for something as you sat down on a chair

"why do you care anyway, Demyx?" your voice sounded weak, he stopped and turned around to face you

"I.. I don't know, you make me feel like I care" his sentence warmed your heart "now, I gotta go ask Vexen about all these.." he gestured towards the medicines and ran away.

You sighed, your reflection in the mirror made you feel weaker than ever, your cheek was still bruised, while your neck has never been more bruised, you could almost see Axel's fingers wrapped around it in dark blue and purple shades, surrounded by some reddish ones, while the burn on your wrist was red, so you imagined the rest would be too. 

Every movement hurt you somewhere and it wasn't pleasurable, it really tormented you being aroused by that.

Demyx dragged Vexen with him, he widened an eye when he saw you "what the hell happened?" he wasn't concerned at all, just very, very annoyed

"do something Vexen, Axel kind of did a lot of things to her, burnt and choked her, do something" Demyx said with worry in his voice, vexen sighed and looked around, then took some medicines and gave them to Demyx

"there, now goodbye" and he disappeared into a portal. Demyx looked at them

"this is a pill, this is a bandage, this is some gel, this is some liquid" he read something on the boxes and bottles and after you were done, you felt incredibly better, even though it still hurt. 

"I gotta go to Axel now" you annouced, getting up, but your friend blocked you

"you're out of your mind Y/N, not Axel, I won't let you see Axel for a while now" you looked at him surprised and hugged him as a reaction, he carefully hugged you back to not hurt your injured body

"Thanks Demyx, but I got to talk to him" 

"no, you won't, you're gonna go rest now"

"but if other three days pass and I.." 

"they won't pass, I promise" you took a deep breath, you were so grateful for his existence. Now more than ever. 

 

You could now stand better on your feet, so you didn't need Demyx help anymore, you encouraged him to go on his mission and he did, while you went looking for Axel.

You didn't see anyone around at first and it was exactly what you hoped, but going on higher floors you met Saïx again, who, of course, blocked you

"you received your punishment I see" he coldly stated, you nodded

"I did.." your eyes went to the floor

"Axel can he quite a dangerous Nobody when he does what he's here for" saying this sentence, he went away, and you were glad that moment of tension passed. 

As you reached the portals room, you received a message, saying to meet Xemnas right now, so you went to the highest point of the castle and there you found him. 

"I'm surprised" he started, before you could say anything, with that solemn voice of his "you're still alive" 

"did I.. Did I have to die?" between you there was a distance of just a few steps

"I didn't say that. It would be a displeasure for the organization, to lose one of its most promising members. But keep in mind that if you don't gather hearts for kingdom hearts, you will be punished." 

You swallowed and it seemed like he heard it

"don't think about death now, it's improbable you will ever avoid important missions again, each one of them did it once and once was enough to close the circle." he paused for a second " You're dismissed."

You decided to not say anything, just nod and go away, he was scary, he definitely was. But he wasn't wrong either.

You resumed your search for Axel, he wasn't in his room and he wasn't anywhere, you couldn't even ask Demyx to bring you somewhere because he was busy, so you just waited in front of Axel's room, you were in no condition to go on any mission anyway. 

 

 


	9. Bittersweet

Axel didn't come. So the day after you went there again, waiting for him, while Demyx still hadn't come back. Finally, you saw the red haired Nobody at the end of the corridor, talking to a short blond guy wearing the black coat, you didn't know who he was, but they looked happy together, they looked just like you and Demyx.

Before Axel reached his room, they separated, so you could finally talk to him, he was now facing you with his arms crossed

"I expected you to come to me again" he yawned right after

"I gotta talk to you, Axel.. " 

The Nobody opened the door and you two went in "then talk" he leaned back against the wall keeping his arms crossed, you swallowed

"uhm.."

"are you gonna talk or not?" he sighed while you were still searching for the right words to use, you stood in front of him, looking down until his hand cupped your jaw and lifted your face to look at him, he was still emotionless as you whimpered for the pain your neck was causing you, then his hand slid down, softly touching your throat, your cheeks became reddish. He didn't look troubled or aroused or anything, he just looked interested and cocky. 

You tried ignoring his actions "why are you like this? It doesn't look like you want to hurt me cause you're angry or something, but it doesn't even look like duty, so what is it?"

He bended down a little towards you, his hand carefully grabbed your neck just to use his thumb to keep your head up

"there's something in you that I can't describe. It's intriguing" 

You blushed, you didn't know what he was talking about, could be anything, but you blushed nonetheless

"every single reaction your heart gives you, I'm interested in it and I'd like to find out more about how your heart works"

You didn't actually expect him to explain it properly. After his speech, his face came closer and his lips almost brushed onto yours, but he didn't kiss you, you felt your heart jumping out of your chest, but after a few seconds he straightened up with a smirk on his face. You knew he noticed your heartbeat increasing since his hand was pressed enough onto your throat to feel it. 

You were looking at him quite surprised, he crossed his arms once again "see? see?"

"w-what?" you stuttered

"I did you so wrong and still, you craved a kiss"

You craved more than a kiss, but you let it slide, your cheeks were red enough after all.

"you're not even opposing.." you felt his hand mimicking a hard grip on your neck, but then he let go and the arm fell by his side, he seemed satisfied

"now go, you don't want too many days to pass, or do you?" his voice was teasing, but more teasing was the gesture he made rising two fingers of his left hand to make you understand what he was referring to, your muscles stiffened at the thought and embarrassment took over. 

 

You really had a big crush on him and each time he touched or teased you it became stronger, still, what tormented you, aside from the sexual pleasure you weirdly received from his tortures, was that not even that act of almost kissing you was sexual for him. He just wanted to see your reaction.

You immediately went on a mission that day, beat up some heartless in the World that Never Was and quickly come back, you didn't know where Demyx was but you met the blond guy in the corridor and he widened his eyes seeing you, probably weirded out by your visible bruises

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" he asked, looking concerned

"huh?" you didn't expect that "I'm.. I'm fine"

"Axel told me you got the Keyblade too, is that true? I'm sorry but I'm just trying to.. Remember something"

He seemed a kind guy, you showed him your Keyblade and he showed you his, you two smiled at each other

"Y/N!" Demyx ran to you and the blond guy, whose smile quickly faded away

"hey Demyx where have you been?"

"a long mission and then I was told about this guy, he's Roxas" the Nobody informed you and you turned to the new member again

"nice to meet you, Roxas, maybe someday we could go on a mission together" you smiled at him and he did the same before you parted ways. He looked fine. 

 

You and Demyx started walking towards the kitchen

"I got some news" he started "the organization will choose some members to go to a place called Castle something, to do something I don't know cause they never explain things properly" he sighed

"or maybe you didn't listen properly" you pointed out instead

"well.. maybe, anyway, just saying but Axel will probably be sent there too"

"how do you know?"

"he's always sent to every mission important for Xemnas' plans, so yeah" the two of you sat on the kitchen counter after taking some biscuits you found

"why did you tell me about Axel anyway?" you asked, munching a biscuit

"you know, so you'll be free from any punishment from him"

You thought about that a lot, if he gets sent away, how could you get the relationship you wanted with him? Since nothing for him was sexual, maybe you should try making it sexual, you blushed at the thought and didn't really know if you could gather such a courage.

"yeah.." you were in deep thoughts, you still didn't know if Nobodies had a sex drive, so you asked the only person you could ask it to, Demyx

"Demyx listen up"

He looked at you with a biscuit in his mouth, you giggled before speaking "do you have a sex drive?"

He frowned "what? A sex what?" you laughed at his answer, but he put a hand on your shoulder, as if he wanted to stop your laughter

He swallowed the biscuit "no wait, I can imagine what it is, and of course I have it, I'm a body, not a mind"

".. That's evident" he pushed you to the side as you two started laughing "are you sure you know what I'm talking about though?"

The Nobody nodded "of course, I'm not stupid, you said it too"

"true" you confirmed. A crazy idea crossed your mind, what If you told Demyx the truth about you? You felt like you could trust him, still, you didn't know whether he was deceiving you or not, silence fell in the room. No one else was around, so you spoke up.

"Demyx.." the biscuits were finished already "I have to tell you something, can we go to your room?"

"sure we can"

Through his portal, you found yourself in his room, you couldn't wait to say it to him anymore.

"alright so, I-" your mouth blocked itself 

"what's wrong?" he frowned, confused, then you gathered some courage again "I wanna say.. I got a heart" you put a hand on your chest as you spoke. 

He tilted his head to the side, probably trying to understand what you meant

"I mean.. I'm a somebody, I'm not.. I'm not a Nobody"

"and no one knows it? Not even Xemnas?"

"Axel knows it.. He found it out in the beginning" you paused to swallow "I know I could just not tell you and go on like this, but I want to be truthful with you, because I trust you, you're my.. You're my best friend, I love you as such"

His eyes widened, then he gulped, then again he looked down for a second and out of the window before looking back at you

"..no one gotta find out then or you'd be in trouble"

After the moment of tension, you warmly smiled at him, hearing that sentence "thank you, Demyx"

His hand went to your shoulder and he smiled too "you make me feel like I had a heart.."

You hugged him after that, he was awesome and special to you, nothing else mattered. You could tell he wasn't used to hugs, but he quickly caught up. When the hug parted, you two gratefully looked at each other before entering another subject.

"so.." Demyx crossed his arms "Axel?"

"what about him?" you frowned

"you hate him?" the only thing that changed is that he started asking questions regarding emotions, you felt compassion towards him.

"hate him? No no.. It's the.. It's the opposite actually.." you blushed a bit avoiding eye contact 

"just asking, when someone tortures you, you should hate him, right? It's just a guess"

"well, yeah.. Normally, but I'm.. Just shut up Demyx" 

He started laughing and you smiled at him before he remembered something and spoke again "oh and I saw Larxene flirting with Axel! That bitch does that from time to time"

He sounded quite alarmed and pissed off "this is a real problem" you scoffed, Demyx didn't get the sarcasm and you laughed again, leaving him questioning whether you were serious or not. 

 


	10. Trying it out

"sooo.. That's your great plan to conquer the heart he ain't got?" Demyx said, expressionless and a bit annoyed while sitting on his bed with his legs crossed, you were standing and walking around, anxious

"yes, isn't it okay?"

"well.. I don't know, like.. Asking him on a date would be stupid"

You frowned "how would it be stupid?"

"first off, you two already went out, when he took you on missions and all, plus he's still your mentor and maybe you'll go on some missions together again and-"

"today, today we gotta go together, that's why I said I could ask him on a date" you interrupted him, confusing yourself though

"nah, I think you should just flirt with him like Larxene does, you're even better than her, plus he already marked you" Demyx pointed at your neck, he was referring to the bruises and burns

"what kind of porn magazines do you read?" you scoffed

"I don't read porn magazines" he pretended to be serious 

"you do, just hear yourself when you talk about this kind of things.." you rolled your eyes and he sighed before lifting his hands up in the air

"alright, you got me"

You giggled in response "so what now?" you checked the clock on the wall "it's almost time for me to meet him"

"I'm not an expert of hearts, but I'm an expert of not having hearts, but then again, Axel looks like a complicated person to me so.. Flirt with him and see how it goes." he sipped his drink before putting it back onto the drawer.

"alright.." you sighed "I'll try"

"good luck" he smiled at you, watching you leave the room in a hurry. You were waiting at the entrance, but ten minutes passed before he showed up, you immediately widened your eyes seeing him, his presence warmed your heart already.

"Hello Axel, where are we going today?"

He opened a dark portal right away "hop in. Agrabah"

"wait.. Isn't it the desert? Shouldn't I wear different clothes or protection or-"

"you should be used to burns by now" he pushed you inside before entering it himself.

 

You fell face in the sand, you even had a flashback of when you fell into Saïx' room and broke your bottom lip, thanks to the sand it didn't happened again.

"get up, we got work to do" he looked at you from his height and started walking already, you caught up as quickly as possible. It was so hot you didn't know you could survive there, while Axel looked surprisingly unbothered, he was kind of used to the heat after all.

You two easily entered a city, no one was around, just closed shops and closed homes, everything was closed "Axel.. What happened here?"

"in the plaza there's a heartless, you'll have to defeat it" he kept walking without even looking at you, and you weren't glad. 

The heartless was a big one, your jaw dropped seeing its blades, it was trying to take down the huge gate that lead to the Palace, but when you two showed up, he turned to you.

"A-Axel" your hands were shaking "I can't beat it"

"just try"

"I can't, look at that thing!" the Nobody crossed his arms waiting for you to do something as you summoned your Keyblade.

You had no other chance but to give it a try so you jumped into the fight and damaged the enemy more than you expected, until you got hit on your right side and couldn't get up.

Fortunately, Axel brought you away from the potentially fatal battle with a portal and left you on one of the buildings

"I always have to fix the situation, don't I" you heard him sighing before watching his figure getting engaged in the fight against that thing.

You watched carefully, the whole pavement of the plaza melt, you couldn't believe your eyes. It melt. And the heartless started slowly melting into it too, the heat was too much for it, it would probably be for anyone. Then Axel quickly finished it off with a few Chakram hits and came back to you, the pavement was now definitely ruined.

You had recovered in the meantime, Axel showed up in front of you, you looked at him in utter awe "how..how did you do that.. You melt bricks? Bricks? How much heat can you release? That's incredible"

He looked pleased by your questions "that's why you should never underestimate me" His cocky attitude never missed to show up on time. 

 

You walked back into the city since you convinced Axel to see if the inhabitants were now outside and you were glad to see that they were. Some of them and some shops opened too, you started walking towards one of the shops, but the Nobody grabbed you by your hoodie, making you whimper as you felt the pressure caused by the coat on your bruises and burns

"where do you think you're going?"

"I-I wanna see, come on Axel, just see, there's plenty of time!"

He stared at you for a second, annoyed, before letting you go. You dashed to the shop and looked at the goods, there were jewels of any kind, so shiny they captured your interest

Axel was standing a few steps behind you, with his arms down his sides and adjusting his hair from time to time, the merchant looked at you quite concerned and then him, he didn't say anything.

Another man approached you instead "do you have a husband? Or you're here with your father or brother?"

You frowned and turned towards the man "well.. None of them, but I got a partner, he's over there" you pointed at Axel, you didn't know what the stranger actually meant so you walked closer as the man proceeded to interview the Nobody

"excuse me, are you selling this girl?"

"s-selling?" you didn't know whether to be angry or embarrassed, Axel didn't even change expression instead

"no, I'm not selling her" the man tried convincing him, but it only annoyed the Nobody more than he already was

After the conversation he turned to you "do you still want to stay here?" he asked as if he just proved a point

You shook your head and sighed "I don't.." you weren't aware of how the place worked, but now that you got a glimpse of it, you didn't really like it, even though being owned by Axel was quite an arousing thought.

He opened a portal and the two of you went back.

You weren't an expert in flirting, you didn't know how to do it in a normal way, it was a skill you didn't have, even finding the right moment was harder than expected, so you just opted to make conversation with him, as much as possible, maybe something would come out of it

You two were now outside of the castle, he was looking at something on the phone, it was quite early in the day. 

"uhm, Axel.. Why did that man ask about selling? I thought It wasn't that common.." you weakly commented, he kept checking the missions

"the bruises on your skin"

"w-what about them?"

The Nobody looked at you from the corner of his eye for a brief second before closing them and sighing, he opened them again to keep reading

"he thought you were a slave or a bad behaving partner, he liked you and had the nerve to ask me if I could sell you to him" his attention finally shifted to you after putting the phone back into the pocket

"a bad behaving parter.." you muttered

"which is exactly what you are" you instantly blushed at his statement

"I'm not bad behaving!" you complained as he opened another portal

"your injuries say the opposite" the Nobody entered the portal and you quickly followed him, fearing he could leave you behind, but this time you bumped against his back. Portals were cool and useful, but when you entered them, you couldn't actually see what was on the other side, that was the problem.

He didn't react to your mistake and started walking towards the door instead. You were in a room with moonlight entering from the big and ancient window, it looked like the one of a mansion or a castle.

"wait, Axel! I accomplished the mission of today, why are we going around again?" you crossed your arms

"I told you that you had to do things for me, since I know your innocent secret" he pointed at his chest, you could detect amusement in his words and expression, a shiver ran down your spine, but you put yourself in front of him before he could open the door, he sighed in response

"do you want to make me lose my patience again?" he looked calm, he probably just wanted to tease you

"w-well.." you stuttered "maybe I do.." you couldn't look at him already, while he was directly observing you. Feeling no embarrassment or shame must be an awesome thing, you thought.

"I heard that you're going away on a long mission with other Nobodies.." you wanted to know more about his next steps

"it's true, but it doesn't involve you" 

"i-it does though.." you paused "You're my mentor" you immediately saved yourself, but he probably didn't buy it, his hand went to your neck again, just with a light squeeze he made you whine, your body tensed up

"I never had to show someone their place so many times, this appears to be new. Didn't the burns and bruises scare you enough? After what I did the last time.." his insidious tone of voice made your body heat up. You wanted him, no matter where or how, you just wanted to touch him and feel him, but the only thing you could feel now was his hand, and you liked it, until a thin beam of water hit him on the cheek, evaporating. 

You both looked at the teapot who threw water at him "that's not how a gentleman should treat a lady!" she said

"oh mon dieu, teaching to one was enough, now we got another one?" the candlestick face palmed, your eyes widened seeing those two, Axel released you and loudly sighed, moving you from the door and opening it

"I'm not going to talk to some animated objects" he walked out, leaving you there

"oh, Lady, are you okay?" the teapot asked, concerned about your condition, you bended over towards them "you're.. You're talking" a smile appeared on your face

"is the monsieur always like that?" the candlestick asked, pointing at the door

"well.. Most of the time, yeah" you scoffed

"do you want us to help you with him?" the teapot sounded like your grandmother

"no no, it's unnecessary, don't worry, he's also quite dangerous so better not bother him too much" you warned them to keep themselves safe. Of course Axel wouldn't care about them, another water beam and they would all become ashes in a snap of fingers. 

"I gotta go to him now, but it's okay, you just leave him alone, take care, bye bye" you throttled out. Stairs in front of you, you had no idea where Axel could be at first, then you noticed him waiting for you down the other set of stairs, you ran to him

"they were cute, Axel, you should give a possibility to people"

"they weren't even people" he commented, you frowned at his reply

"they certainly had a heart though" he didn't seem pleased by your statement. At all. 

"we're not here for that" you couldn't tell whether he was getting angry or he was simply trying to end the conversation as soon as possible. 

The two of you ended up in the basement, he was completely indifferent to the background, while you were kind of afraid, it was dark and your mentor didn't bother to light something up with fire until you arrived at a door. 

 

 


	11. Almost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for trouble

The wooden door in front of you was sealed, Axel opened it with the key he kept in his coat, he even lit the torches outside and inside the room, then entered first and you soon followed, there were three blankets on the floor, wrapped around something, you couldn't tell

"grab that one, I'll bring these two" without any effort, he blocked under his arms two of them, while you struggled even with that one. The Nobody cynically observed you in a 'no comment' situation

"Axel.. This is too heavy" you complained "what's inside?"

"none of your business, just drag it if you can't lift it"

He absolutely looked not in the mood for complaints and you didn't want to piss him off. You tried dragging it, but at the first pull, you saw something that looked like a face inside, your heart skipped a beat and you stepped back

"are these.. Are these corpses?" you looked at Axel

"something similar, we gotta go"

"wait.. Why? What's happening? This is so weird, corpses.. I gotta drag corpses now, what the hell, I won't.." you were absorbed in your own thoughts until a slap snapped you out of it, you fell to the ground this time

"stop whining and do what I say. Why do you always have to make things harder than they are, huh?" the Nobody sighed again, his hands were now free, you touched your hurting cheek

"it's called having a heart.." tears formed at the corners of your eyes, it hurt more than the last time. He didn't say anything, just silently observed you and waited for you to get up and get down to business.

You were now on four legs, trying to get up holding onto the wall

"guess I'll have to tell the Organization the truth about you" the Nobody said, his tone of voice gave you the chills, insinuating into your bones "wait, no, wait, Axel, you can't" you got up quicker as he was about to exit the room, you grabbed his forearm

"please don't! I'm doing it, look, I'll do it!" you were now crying, your forehead pressed against his upper arm, you knew he was looking at you "I'm doing my best.. I'm so sorry, please, try.. try to understand.. Having a heart isn't easy" there was a minute of silence before he spoke too

"having no heart isn't easy either" he replied with a serious tone, your heart was beating faster as you looked at him, the arm you were grabbing onto moved once you released it and his gloved hand touched the cheek he just hit, making you whimper

"it makes me look like I'm the bad guy here" he muttered

You really wanted to kiss him, but how? Even on tiptoe you weren't sure you would reach his lips and you didn't want to take any chances, so you just let it go.

 

The two of you didn't say a word after that, you dragged the cadaver out, Axel lifted the other two and you exited the castle to enter a different portal, then brought the two corpses to Vexen's secret laboratory. You didn't ask any questions. You simply did what your mentor ordered, waved at Vexen when you met him and then went back to the usual HQ.

You came back home at night, Demyx and other Nobodies were already sleeping. You saw Axel going into his room and you went into yours, then took a warm shower to ease the emotional pain and tension, but it didn't really work that much. You put on your lingerie to go to bed, but when you came into your bedroom, Axel was there with his arms crossed

"w-what are you doing here?!" you quickly hid yourself in a towel

"I've already seen you twice, what else do you have to hide under that towel?" he scoffed and your cheeks blushed way too much

"it's just embarrassing.." you muttered under your breath, an idea popped up in your mind. Maybe that was the right occasion to do something about flirts.

"I'll need you for another mission, it doesn't involve any heartless" he looked down at you as you got closer, dropping his arms to the side waiting to see what you were up to.

At night everything was easier for you, your mind was lighter and shame kind of faded away, or at least, you were able to ignore it. Your hand went shyly to his chest, then shoulders and behind his neck, making him bend down a little. You gathered the courage you needed to go on tiptoe and simply kissed him, he didn't kiss you back though. You descended from the tip of your toes and brought your hands back at you, embarrassed.

You were about to say something, but he spoke "so.. that's it" A smirk appeared on his face "it's not safe, you know, just with a bra and slips on.." he grabbed and tossed away the towel as he started walking towards you, making you step back, you got suddenly afraid as air brushed your skin, your shoulders ended up against the wall and you were slightly panting. The Nobody made you turn around, pressing your cheek and breasts against the wall instead, your body was now completely heated up.

A hand was pressing against the back of your neck, your cheek hurt while the other hand grabbed your left hip and made you arch your back to push up your butt. You could feel his crotch against it, so you let out a whimper, but you knew all this could still not be sexual for him, you weren't sure.

The palms of your hands stayed against the wall as he unzipped his coat before pressing against your slips with his trousers still on, you could feel the buldge asking for a release, it brushed right against your clothed entrance, making you moan as you pressed against him too, the thin cloth was completely wet already as you felt him in such a way that you thought he could penetrate you even without removing his trousers.

You could feel him bending down a bit towards you "is this what you want from me?" his voice in your ears made you release another moan "P-Please.." you were panting as his right hand, from the back of your neck, went to its front, passing under your arm and squeezing the target, while his left hand slid from your hip to your abdomen and up to your left breast, his hand was hot, almost burning, enough to hurt but not enough to make you scream.

He squeezed both your throat, pulling you towards him too, and your left breast, you managed to moan even with less air.

"in this condition with a Nobody it's dangerous" Axel said, almost whispering "we only act in our self interest.." You shivered as you felt yourself even wetter than before, he unzipped his trousers, but he still got cloth on, you could better feel the tip of his penis though and it even entered a bit through the cloth, making your whole body tremble, you moaned again, he felt so big too, and the sensation aroused you more. 

His hot left hand slipped down your abdomen and reached your slips and vagina, entering you with a finger right away, he kept you blocked as you moved too much cause of the pain you felt along with the pleasure "I-it hurts, Axel.. It burns, w-wait.." You let out a moan of mixed pain, still quite agitated, so he locked his grip on you even more, a few small drops of liquid were dripping from your entrance to the floor, he suddenly entered the other hot finger, cutting your breath to not make you moan too loud or scream for the heat. Even though it wasn't that much to damage you and earn an actual scream.

It was all so painfully pleasurable that you couldn't take it anymore, you needed him inside of you, not just with gloved fingers, the pressure from behind increased a bit, and for the first time you heard a slightly bigger breath from him, almost like he had to keep the focus on what he was doing.

His fingers stayed inside of you, increasing the heat until he earned a cry from your lips before going back to a normal temperature, tears were falling down your cheeks while another moan escaped your mouth as he curled his fingertips. 

Axel's fingers left your dripping insides and made the liquid evaporate right away, you were panting and to the point of orgasm "A-Axel, please.. Give, give me.." You felt his breath close to your left ear as he let out a low chuckle before doing what you had hoped he wouldn't do, he released you and disappeared into a dark portal in an instant. 

You cursed in your mind, still panting and legs still trembling. You couldn't stand it, your hand went to your clitoris and in a few seconds a shiver made you moan again, you lost all strength. 

There it went your night, now you had to clean up the room and take another shower thanks to the firework, Demyx would say. 


	12. Scala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the length of this chapter

A horrible day. That night you almost didn't sleep, you just kept thinking about Axel and how his touch felt and how you wanted to stay close to him no matter what.

That morning you went to the kitchen as always, just a bit more tired, but Demyx wasn't there, there was Roxas instead

"oh hello Roxas"

"hello" he was eating flower shaped biscuits and smiled at you, you looked around in search of your friend "have you seen Demyx?"

"Demyx? Well.. He came here half a hour ago, then saw me and.. He went away"

"oh I see. I'm sure it wasn't your fault, don't worry, anyway thank you"

You waved at him. Skipping breakfast wasn't your favourite activity, but looking for Demyx was way more important. He wasn't in his room either, not even in the infirmary, so you decided to call him on the phone

He picked up right away  "Demyx where the hell are you?" you almost yelled 

"Y/N sorry if I wasn't in the kitchen, there was the gnome and I don't particularly like him"

"what the hell"

"the blond one"

"yeah I got it, but still.. What the hell.. Anyway, I'll be waiting in your room, get a move on"

His room was always open, so you dashed inside and sat on the bed. In the meanwhile you found a magazine under it and started reading until your friend arrived.

"what are you doing with my magazine?" he scolded you

"how can you read these things? It's boring porn, boring"

"shut up" he took the magazine from your hands and tossed it away in a forgotten corner of the room.

"so, how did it go?" Demyx noticed the bruise on the cheek "that doesn't look good" 

"I don't know, look.. We went to Agrabah and a man wanted to buy me, Axel told him that he didn't intend to sell me, he was so cool beating that huge heartless too, then we went to a castle I don't know where, I talked to a teapot and a candlestick, they thought Axel was abusing me since he was kinda choking me, then we went into the basement, I didn't wanna do what he said I had to, so he slapped me and damn, that hurt like hell. Then we came here and I took a shower, then I exited the shower and there he was, and then he almost raped me" you sounded hyperactive

Demyx shook his head confused "uh.. What? Wait, wait, he raped you? It's not rape if you like it, I think" he was really confused

"no, I mean.. Yes, I mean.. What the hell are you talking about?"

"just tell me what happened with him" he sighed

"I did what you told me to, I, well, I kissed him, but he didn't kiss me back, so I was like damn, that's not good, but then he kinda raped me"

He shook his head again and put his hands on his hips "you mean you had sex?"

"no.. Not yet, but almost" he laughed at your answer 

"well that's good news"

"it's not good news.. Who knows when I'll get another occasion" you crossed your arms and sighed

"I know that today the firetruck will be on a mission with Roxas, so I doubt you'll see him, plus you got limited time since you gotta do something before he goes on that mission with other members, Xemnas made it sound like something troublesome and long" he sat next to you

"is something wrong?" you asked, the Nobody looked troubled

"huh? Uhm.. Not really I mean, I was wondering, why are you in this organization? You never really told me" 

You took a deep breath "well.." you looked down "I'm here to find out about the Xemnas' plan. I know that it's not just regaining a heart, there must be more. But you know.."

"what?" 

"My master doesn't expect me to be back anyway, I've been more of a nuisance than a help.." Demyx looked at you, focusing on your words

"I think that now I'm not here just for the mission.. I'm also here for you and Axel" at those words he smiled at you and you smiled back before getting up

"about that, wanna go on a mission together?"

"me and you? That would be terrific."

 

You and Demyx went to a short but competitive mission in the twilight town forest, it was way funnier than going alone and way less stressing than going with Axel. The two of you even ate an ice cream before coming back, it was still quite early, so you decided to do something else together. 

"Y/N, let's play a game" he sat on an armchair in the hallway and you stood in front of him

"not something like the Axel one, it earned me more bruises" you shivered thinking about it

"no no, listen, Axel and Roxas aren't even here now, but anyway.." he summoned his sitar, playing with it's chords as he spoke "let's go bother the others" 

You frowned "what kind of game is that? Another activity to get into more trouble?" you weren't convinced

"I'll come too, and together we'll mess up what the others are doing, doesn't it sound fun?" 

"it would sound fun if the others weren't beings without a heart and not quite like you or Roxas, I already took my chances with Axel" 

He suddenly got up and made his sitar disappear "let the firework out of this, you think the others are like him? They're less fiery, you know what I mean?" he gestured, you couldn't help but let out a sigh. 

Something was telling you that you should accept boredom instead, but Demyx was pretty convincing and going on a spree with him sounded really funny, you'll think later about the consequences.

You nodded "alright.. Who do we start with?" 

Demyx smiled at you, enthusiastic "Vexen? At least we're certain he's inside the laboratory" 

"let's do this"

The two of you went right to the laboratory, opened the door just a little and looked inside, Vexen was turning his back to the door, moving bottles and stuff on a desk

"watch this" Demyx whispered as some water moved from the floor to the insides of his coat and then his arm, making it abruptly move and throwing to the floor all the bottles, then it turned simple liquid again, wetting the insides of his clothes, Vexen cursed before realizing what just happened and turning towards the door

"let's go" you and Demyx ran past the corner of the corridor, holding in your laughter

"Demyx I know that's you, there's no one else who uses water and would do this! Just wait till I get you!" you heard him yelling before closing the door again. 

You couldn't stop laughing "Demyx you won't survive his rage" you commented

"he's old, he'll die before he can catch me" the two of you laughed again

"next one?" 

"Marluxia?"

your eyes widened "no, not Marluxia, he scares me" 

"Saïx?" 

"he scares me more than Xemnas actually"  you noticed that the Nobody was staring at you

"what is it?" you asked, confused

"nothing. I'm kinda bothered by the bruises, nevermind, let's go to Zexion then" he started walking, leaving you behind, you quickly caught up. A smile formed on your lips, he was caring, well, as caring as a Nobody can be, you thought. 

You arrived where Zexion usually was, now absent, that is the library, Demyx proposed to pull down all of the books, but you refused since it was you the one who put them there.

There was an open book on the table, you looked at it "it looks handwritten, what if we changed some formulas?"

Demyx' eyes lit up "that's a great idea, just write something!" 

You took the pen and read the sentence " ex luna scientia, fortis in arduis igni ferroque"

"what the hell?" Demyx frowned

"it's the language of the ancients, wait" you checked some other pages and wrote a random sentence, then read it "ex luna scientia, fortis in arduis, in illae lacrimae, let's just do this, it's the main formula written on this page, he'll certainly read it"

Demyx grabbed you by your forearm and dragged you away "he's coming back" he said, you two hid in the wardrobe of the room, it was empty, just dusty

You heard Zexion's footsteps inside of the room. He stopped at the desk, read those words not really convinced, but by doing that he activated it. 

Tears started falling down his eyes and you heard him maniacally sobbing and crying, Demyx couldn't help but laugh and you sneezed. 

The Nobody didn't even check the wardrobe though, he exited the room almost running and you two culprits ran away

"that was crazy" your friend said "what did you write?" 

"I don't know, but apparently the magic made him cry that much, weird incantation" you giggled before stretching your neck

"next one is Xigbar" 

"He's gonna kill us." you rolled your eyes back

"what for?" a voice behind you made you and Demyx jump out of your shoes before turning around

"N-nothing" you said as he looked at you, then he shifted to your friend "nothing!" he repeated in response

"whatever, just don't mess up" Xigbar surpassed you and started walking down the corridor 

"how does he do that? It's the second time we mention him and he appears" you whispered to Demyx

"I don't know. But watch this. We can't let the target go" 

Demyx aimed at Xigbar's head with his fingers, right after a strong but thin beam of water hit the back of his head, making him stop and turn around. He was quite far away already 

"what is he doing?" you frowned "should we run away?"

Demyx frowned too "I don't know what.." Xigbar summoned his two guns-like weapons "we should definitely go"

"we should" 

You ran away behind the corner as two glowing red projectiles brushed the your coats, almost ripping them off, Demyx used a portal to transfer you two to another corridor, you were panting

"he didn't look happy, was he trying to kill us?" 

"nah, if he wanted to kill us, he would have, he's a damn sniper" Demyx sighed, scratching his head

"now what?" you asked, curious and worried at the same time 

"Laexeus is away on a mission and I say, let's let Xaldin be, alright?" 

You squinted "just cause you don't wanna get beaten by him again" 

"shut up! Next. Xemnas" 

"you're kidding" you almost shouted

"Larxene then" 

"alright.." 

Demyx had a plan this time. You went to the portals control panel in the computer room, while he went inside her room. He did something, you didn't know what, then sent you a message and you closed her in her own room, then Demyx came back to you, satisfied. 

"so, what did you do to her?" 

"I drowned her" 

"really?" 

"nah, but something similar. Half of her room sank and now she's like, swimming in there, and the more she gets angry the more she releases electricity, got it?" 

You giggled "you're a joker, man" 

The Nobody looked at you, proudly smiling before going back to business "next one is Luxord." he checked on his phone

"damn, no, let that be, he's on a mission. Let's go to Marluxia" 

You sighed, the pink haired Nobody was intriguing but really creepy at times. 

You were now outside the hallway where the target was in "what's the plan here? What do we do?" You asked

"do you have some fire?" 

"no, well.. I can use firaga with my keyblade but.." 

"then use it!" 

"no, It's a fighting spell, it would damage him!" you didn't understand how could Demyx be such and idiot at times

"nah he's strong, he would defend himself" 

"I won't take this chance" 

"alright then. See you tomorrow, bye." he started walking back, you grabbed his hand

"don't be stupid! Come on, Demyx" 

"what's happening here?" Marluxia asked, appearing where the mess was taking place

"huh, nothing.." your voice trembled and your friend noticed it

"we were just arguing whether to prank you or not" he crossed his arms and you elbowed him, but it was too late. 

A scythe appeared in the Nobody's hand "please do. Prank me." the creepy, soft smile was back

"well.. I'd say we did enough, didn't we, Demyx?" he nodded

"we did, we did enough, have a nice day honorable sir Marluxia" 

You and Demyx cautiously walked away till you reached a safe spot

"we risked there" you scoffed

"damn, sorry for my behaviour, I'm like that sometimes, I got kinda offended" he admitted his fault and you were glad of it

"no problem. Who's next? Saïx? What do we do with him?" the two of you started walking towards the blue haired Nobody 's room as you spoke

"I don't know. Let's just throw water at him"

"like with cats" 

"yeah, like with cats." you giggled at his response. You were really afraid of Saïx, but with Demyx it was alright. Everything was. 

The portal to his attic was open and you two entered it without precautions. 

Saïx was looking out of the window like always and Demyx decided it was a great occasion to let some water fall onto him and so he did.

As you expected, he turned around not quite pleased and the two of you dashed away, Demyx hopped out of the portal, but the owner closed it before you could get out. 

"oh no.." you pushed it "this is quite a pickle" then you turned around to face the Nobody, he was wet from head to toes

"I'm really sorry, Saïx, we're kinda .. Pranking all of the members, I'm sorry" 

"you and Demyx are very similar. You think this is all a game and your purpose here is unfamiliar to the purpose of the rest of us" 

You swallowed as he got closer, looking down at you "Axel is your mentor, but I see he didn't teach you anything good, maybe it's true that violence doesn't work much on discipline" his hand went to your throat, you whimpered at the contact with the bruises, he wrapped his fingers around it, as if he was carefully putting them over the signs of Axel's fingers, it hurt, but only on the surface since he wasn't squeezing 

"let me give you an advice. Axel isn't someone you should trust or stay with, you've been avoiding me, but he's the one you should avoid."

You knew he was just playing with you and wanted to destabilize you, he wanted to see your emotions, he was squeezing more now. You could feel the difference between his grip and Axel's, this one was almost hungry for blood, anger flowing through it, his hand structure was less slender too, while Axel gave you a more complex feeling and you couldn't even read what his gesture meant, you couldn't really read it.

Saïx's intention, on the other hand, felt clear. His cold eyes shifted for a moment to the portal behind you, it was opened by Demyx on the outside. Your friend stepped in, but he didn't have time to say a word that Saïx threw you back at him, making you both fall through the portal and outside his room. The portal closed right after. 

You were now sitting on Demyx's abdomen and heard him complaining, so you got up and helped him get up too. 

He giggled like nothing happened "Xemnas now?" 

"forget it. No Xemnas, I'm going to bed after this" you stretched your neck

"oh come on, you should be used to it by now" he crossed his arms, that was the problem of having a best friend without a heart. You were glad he came back to rescue you anyway. 

"just leave me alone for today" 

You directly went to you room, you even avoided Axel after seeing him in a corridor with Roxas. The next day you stayed in your room, no one came looking for you, but you didn't really care. Actually, you didn't know what it was that bothered you, if Demyx or Saïx's words and actions, maybe you just weren't feeling good. 

 

 


	13. Everyone, no one

Another day of missions. Two days have passed since your pranks to the members of the Organization, this time Axel specifically required you for a mission you forgot about, you were still quite embarrassed to meet him after what happened.

During those days, you didn't even see Demyx, could be anywhere and you were a bit worried. 

You put your clothes and coat on and rushed out of your room, you looked around and the corridor was empty. The kitchen was too, and you felt a bit of sadness in your heart, you hoped you would see Demyx again. Guess you were the main reason why he waited there.

You took a piece of bread and quickly ate it before exiting the room. Roxas bumped into you "oh I'm sorry" you said, but he said that too at the same time, you two giggled

"have you seen Axel?"

"Mhh I think he's at the entrance, I can go check-"

"I'll go, don't worry" you interrupted him "see you around"

As quick as you appeared, you disappeared, running towards the entrance. You were in a hurry, but seeing your mentor's figure sent chills down your spine and you slowed down, swallowing, until you reached him

"hello Axel.." your voice was weak and it shyly exited your mouth

"hey, ready?" He looked completely normal and not bothered at all, while you were blushing and he sure noticed, you nodded at him.

The Nobody opened a portal and the two of you went in.

 

In front of you there was a huge structure now, it looked like an ancient coliseum, columns all around the entrance and two sculptures, they looked made out of gold, your jaw dropped

"what are we here for, Axel?" you asked

"I got something to say to Hades" his voice sounded irritated, as if Hades did something he shouldn't have done.

Your partner started walking down, towards the opposite side of the building, you grabbed his sleeve "the coliseum looks so cool, can we visit it later?"

He sighed "no"

"why not?"

"because I said so"

"come on Axel.." you insisted, but he didn't even reply, just kept walking and you with him.

The two of you went into the underworld, a completely different place from the one you started from, it was dark and cold, the water was green and inside there were skeletons and other dead creatures. Sometimes you could hear weird noises and sounds, so you took a hold of Axel's left arm, almost hugging it as the two of you walked deeper into that dark place.

Some monsters tried attacking you at times, but Axel simply burned them to ashes without any effort, you were really glad he was with you. 

 

Finally, you reached a circular room with a table in the middle and a throne, there was a man with blue fire instead of hair and skin of another shade of blue sitting on it. 

"hello Hades" Axel said with a cocky tone of voice

"oh not you again, not you again" the lord of the underworld facepalmed "what is it now? You even got a hoe accompanying you to show me how popular you are instead of me or what?"

"I'm not-" you were about to speak, but the Nobody stopped you

"just like that. I see you memorized me" he stepped closer to Hades and you left his arm, you knew you had to "now, tell me about that body I gave you.."

You wanted to eavesdrop, but something distracted you, someone with a black coat was hiding behind the entrance door, taking a peek in, so you got closer to him and almost immediately recognized him, even with the hoodie on

" Demyx? "you whispered " what are you doing here? "

" shh! Don't talk to me, I'm just checking the place"

"you followed us?"

He grabbed your sleeve and dragged you out to not make too much noise "I followed you, yeah"

"why?" you looked concerned

"I'm kinda jealous.. You didn't wanna see me, and now you go on a mission with the firework?" the Nobody was really offended, he took down his hood

"but.. It's different! I got to go on missions!"

"with him?"

"he asked me to give him a hand"

"and that hand is showing you off like a.. A bought hoe?"

"Demyx what the hell.. have you gone mad?" you put your hands on his shoulders, looking at him

"maybe I have. It's just not fair, I'm your best friend and you decided to avoid me for days, now you go with Axel who isn't your best friend, he's just a Nobody who doesn't care about you and just uses you and hits you and-"

He stopped talking, Axel was standing behind you with his arms crossed

"go on Demyx, It's certainly not a conversation about me, is it" he teased before stepping to your side

"shut your mouth, carrot! You know that what I said is true" your friend turned around and ran away, leaving you with your heart half broken

"Demyx.."

"he'll get over it, he's got no heart after all" you felt Axel's hand on your shoulder and you shivered, feeling his eyes on you

"shall we take a look at the coliseum?" your eyes widened at his proposal

"y-you said no earlier.." 

He sighed "well.. I changed my mind"

 

The two of you went back to the coliseum, there was a faun waiting for spectators to buy tickets for the current match, you ran to him "hello! Are tickets still available?"

He looked at you, not convinced "you alone girl? It ain't a place for the likes of you" he tilted his head to the side

"now go, go, I gotta sell tickets"

Axel pretended to cough "she's with me"

"oh." the faun looked at him, then back at you "Sure. Here two tickets" he gave them to you and you happily throttled to the stands while Axel gave him the munny, you sat down with the red haired Nobody right after. 

There were plenty of people and the battle was about to begin, you were quite excited

"hey Axel, have you ever been here?"

"I have" he paused "not much time ago" He looked at you from the corner of his eyes as a smirk appeared on his face, leaving you confused.

Two contendants entered the arena, the battle was fierce and they both showed great qualities, you wondered who could win it.

The match lasted at least a hour, where Axel sometimes got bored and almost slept with his eyes open 

"hey Axel, Axel.. are you sleeping?" you called him at the end of the match, he was submerged in his own thoughts and yawned right after, getting up

"you didn't like it?" you asked looking at him, concerned. You didn't like the fact that he could not have appreciated the battle with you. 

"I wouldn't come back to watch another one, that's it" he answered, adjusting his gloves. Then noticed the sun setting far away. 

"time to go back" a portal brought you two back to the castle's entrance right away and Axel walked ahead towards his room without saying anything. You followed him intentioned to talk about what happened the other night in your room and to find out if something bothered him that day. 

You sneaked into his bedroom, but he knew you were there and sighed as you spoke "Uhm.. Axel, is there a problem?" 

"why do you think there is?" he crossed his arms

"well.." you blushed as your mind went back to what happened in your room "w-well, first of all, you gave me problems! I mean.. You, the other night, I.." your voice was shaking

"do tell" he teased

"w-why did you do that?" you managed to ask as he leaned against the wall, you stepped closer to him

"easy to figure out. I told you already, I'm interested in how your heart makes you react" he gestured "And you provoked me that time." he added with a laid back tone

Your blushing didn't want to go away "I.. I was.." you struggled with your emotions "Well.. you didn't even kiss me ba-"

The Nobody's hand went to your throat, his thumb lifted your chin up and his lips touched yours, your heart jumped out as you kissed him back, a hand against his chest and another against his abdomen, his tongue partook in the kiss too, and heat traveled throughout your whole body. A moan of yours got muffled by his mouth, you were left panting as he parted the kiss.

"look at this.." his hand went to your still bruised cheek "how strong did I hit you.." his voice didn't show remorse or guilt, nothing, just a little tease hidden in it

"oh I almost forgot" he said, making you focus even more on him "you liked it" he whispered as his hand slid away

You felt kind of shocked by that, you were slightly panting for the kiss and your face was red "C-can I have another kiss.. Please?" you were craving every little bit of him

A smirk appeared on his face "no can do, I got another mission to attend to, I'm just here to get some papers" he moved to the desk and grabbed some documents "and you'd better get out before something you might regret happens" that tease hit you right into your sexual drive

"w-why would I regret it?" you found the courage to ask

A half smile shaped his lips "I have no heart, got it memorized?" he brought his index to his temple and disappeared into the darkness, leaving you there. You sighed and exited the room. 

Now that Axel was busy, you got another mess to try and fix: Demyx. 

You walked to his room, hoping to find him there, it was weirdly closed, so you knocked

" Demyx? You're in there? Let me come in" 

"no" you heard him answering

"I just wanna talk, come on.. I'm sorry if I offended you or made you angry" 

The door opened and you dashed in, your friend was lying on the floor with the sitar next to him

"Demyx.." 

"silence, traitor.." he seemed sad, on the verge of tears

"you're.. Feeling something?" you tried to understand better the situation, but he had a nervous breakdown

"I don't! I don't feel it! I don't feel anything but I'm crying, alright?" Demyx was sitting on the floor now, tears falling down his eyes

"I'm sorry, don't cry, please, I'm sorry.." you fell on your knees and hugged him "is this just because I went with Axel? I'm sorry.."

"it's not that.." he sobbed "it's because you didn't want to see me anymore.. I.. I felt.. Something, maybe.. I don't know.. I don't know, it's so confusing.. " you kept hugging him. Axel was right when he said that not having a heart wasn't easy either.

 

As weird as it sounds, you waited for him to fall asleep that night, before exiting the room and going into yours. On the phone you read an advice from Axel too, it said that you should go on missions with the other members, it made you sad, did that mean that he didn't want to see you anymore? Or maybe you were just becoming paranoid. 


	14. Special mission

The kitchen was crowded that day, Demyx was probably still sleeping, while Roxas was eating with you, Xigbar and Luxord were talking in the back of the room. 

You checked the missions on your phone to see if some of them were in cooperative

"I still haven't figured out how to use that phone properly.." Roxas commented with a giggle, you smiled at him

"it's pretty easy when you get used to it"

"I see, got some interesting missions?"

"kind of, I got a mission with Zexion, huh.." you put your plate inside the dishwasher, thinking about when you and Demyx pranked the guy.

 

The two of you met at the library and were already off to twilight town, some heartless were seen there and you had to take care of them. 

Zexion didn't say a word, so you decided to speak, thinking he could still be angry "uh.. Zexion, I'm sorry for the prank of a few days ago, I see you fixed the problem" you awkwardly giggled, he frowned

"it was you?!" he said, surprised 

Your jaw dropped seeing that he didn't know yet that it was you "yeah.. I'm sorry err.. Forgive me, it was just to have fun.." you fidgeted

"I knew you got along with Demyx but I didn't know you were like him"

"I'm not like him, he's an idiot most of the time, but also very smart and.. I don't know, just don't insult him" you gestured 

"but.. You kind of insulted him" he pointed out and you sighed, summoning the Keyblade "let's just.. Smash these heartless"

 

The mission didn't last much, there was no special enemy, just common ones and Zexion was pretty strong too, so nothing went wrong. He wasn't a talkative person though, but you managed to make him spit something before the two of you parted ways.

"so, Zexion, I look forward to going on another mission with you" you warmly smiled at him, he closed the book he kept in hand

"a while will pass before that. Tomorrow there's the expedition to Castle Oblivion."

"so.. The participants were announced?"

He nodded before opening his mouth again "me, Vexen, Laexeus, Marluxia, Larxene and Axel."

Your heart ached hearing that last name and you looked down

"I got a bad feeling about this, If I'm even able to..." the Nobody muttered under his breath while going away, you noticed and it left you afraid of what could happen there. 

 

You went to the living room just to see Xigbar chilling on the sofa and a hooded figure, as tall as Roxas, you got closer to Xigbar

" ehm.. Xigbar, who's that one?" you asked, pointing your finger at her, he kept reading his magazine

"she's called Xion, Saïx said. Oh and he also said she can use the Keyblade, just like you and Roxas" 

"oh, thank you old man" you joked, he let out a low chuckle as you walked towards the girl

"hello, nice to meet you, I'm Y/N, I was told you use the Keyblade too" she stayed still without talking for a while, you tilted your head to the side and decided to let her be, maybe she wasn't in the right mood.

 

You walked towards Demyx' room, but noticed and stopped Axel in the corridor grabbing him by his sleeve "I'm sorry, Axel, I was told you're one of those sent to Castle oblivion?" you asked

"I am"

Silence fell, but the two of you didn't move, The Nobody carefully looked around before sighing and giving you a more consistent answer "I'll be back. Don't worry." then he walked away.

You stared at him walking and you knew that you wouldn't see him for a while. You hoped he wouldn't get involved in any mess of sort.

 

The next day was as you imagined it. Empty. And there was so much to think about. You felt a connection with Axel, sure, but connections are between hearts, and only you had one. Was it enough?

You spent the morning slacking off, going around the castle and looking at the empty rooms where once stood those Nobodies sent to Castle Oblivion. It bothered you, maybe you developed some kind of affection toward each one of your comrades.

Saïx appeared in front of you. Well, maybe not each one of them.. "slacking off? You must collect hearts"

"Saïx, that's.. I'm doing it, I did it yesterday, I'll do it this afternoon, just keep calm" you sighed

"I wouldn't like to waste my time giving you a lecture, since Axel isn't here to do it himself"

A shiver ran down your spine at his cold threat, you nodded a few times before getting away from him, he was the coldest looking member along with Xemnas and he didn't look like he enjoyed your company either.

 

That afternoon you collected hearts alone and the next day you intended to do pretty much the same, but an official mail appeared on the screen of your phone. Your heart broke reading it

"all the members sent to Castle Oblivion were wiped out. Be careful on your missions not to let such a thing happen again"

Tears at the corners of your eyes, but you were standing in the hallway, you had to hold them in. The hand holding the phone trembled a bit "wiped out?"

"they vanished, they got killed." Saïx was standing in front of you again now, you looked at him, hoping your pain wouldn't show itself

"it's impossible.." 

 "and yet it happened. Now go back to work, go on a mission with Roxas and do your best, we need hearts" 

You went away. You couldn't stand him anymore. How could he be so heartless? The worst. But you couldn't believe that Axel was really gone forever. 

With watery eyes, you decided to go see if Roxas was willing to go on a mission with you, so you entered his room. He was sleeping.

"Roxas? It's late, You're still sleeping?" you asked, next to him there was a collection of seashells, you wondered who put them there

"he blacked out, Saïx said he's in a coma or something" Demyx appeared behind you, at the door, you looked at him

"oh.. I'm so sorry. How did it happen?"

"Xigbar just said that he blacked out, I don't know anything else" he shook his head, you looked at the sleeping body and sighed

"is this the destiny of Keyblade wielders? Looks the same to me.." you muttered to yourself, Demyx heard but decided not to speak. You turned to him

"let's go on a mission then. We got no time to waste." you were serious all of the sudden, the Nobody frowned 

"what's wrong?"

you didn't reply, you knew your voice would be shaking, so you showed him the notification on your phone instead, he read it

"oh, right. It will be quiet from now on" the Nobody said at first, missing the point, it took him a few seconds to understand

"..I'm sorry. I get it now. But you'll see, the firework isn't someone that goes down so easily, I think" 

He was trying to cheer you up and you appreciated it. 

 

The mission went smoothly, you didn't talk much, it was just work. 

When you were done with it, you went to the tower of twilight town and ate ice cream together, you didn't talk there either, and Demyx knew you weren't in the mood to laugh and joke about stuff as always, so you simply enjoyed each other's company.

 

The next day you checked every room again, with the hope of finding Axel hidden in one of them. He wasn't there.

In the afternoon you saw Roxas with that girl, Xion, you were glad he woke up from that coma earlier than you expected, but still, you felt empty and sad, and couldn't even cry without risking your life in there. 

Another night passed, you slept on the couch in the living room, simply because you sat there to think about the situation and then your eyes slowly closed.

 

You were woken up by a pain on your head, like someone just hit you with something rigid, opening your eyes you noticed Saïx in front of you with his arms crossed. 

"it's noon" he said "go collect hearts" 

You let out a loud sigh "you're a curse, you're a damn curse, Saïx, what the hell did I do wrong to be haunted by you?" you complained, covering your ears with your hands. You thought you imagined it, but you noticed a vein almost exploding on his neck

He grabbed your wrist with strength, making you whimper, and dragged you up, still holding a firm grip on it

"it hurts! I Didn't do anything wrong Saïx, come on!" 

"you're giving me too many problems, maybe you should be turned into a Dusk or die" his other hand went to your neck, squeezing tight

"I leave for a special mission and this is what I see when I come back?" 

You knew thst voice, your eyes widened at the sight of Axel, Saïx released you right away, letting you take a deep breath

" You're back" the blue haired one stated

"surprised? I thought you were the 'cool' kind of guy" his hands went to his hips "murdering one of our few Keyblade wielders isn't something you would do, is it? And Xemnas wouldn't be pleased." 

Saïx closed his hands into fists before quietly walking away. No one was around now, so you ran to Axel and hugged him, he didn't hug you back

"you're alive! I'm so happy to see you alive.. You're alive.."

"you underestimated me, didn't you?" he scoffed with a smirk on his face

"I.. I wouldn't" you hugged him tighter than before

"calm down. I don't want the others to find out you got a heart yet" the Nobody softly pressed a hand against your shoulder and you let go, looking at him, you missed him. 

"Axel? You're here?" Demyx arrived from behind you and put a elbow on your shoulder "this girl was going crazy without you" he scoffed

You blushed and pushed Demyx away "s-shut up!" he laughed in response as Axel kept staring at you with his emerald eyes and a half smile, your heart was beating louder and louder

"alright" he finally said "I'll go check on Roxas, see you later" 

He waved at you before disappearing into the darkness. 

You felt relieved, you felt better. Now Axel was there and nothing could go wrong. But how to get him away from there? You wondered. It wasn't that easy. You were stuck within the organization like the other Nobodies, you had no help to use to get him out, or get his heart back. 

"hey, I still don't like that pyromaniac" Demyx commented

"I know you don't" you sighed "wanna eat some ice cream in twilight town?"

"sure" 

 

The two of you went to twilight town, bought two ice creams and appeared at the usual spot up the tower, but it was crowded this time. 

Axel, Roxas and Xion were all there when you arrived, you felt out of place and Demyx wasn't comfortable either, they all looked at you

"sorry! Didn't know you were all here" you awkwardly smiled at them, while Demyx hid behind you

"you can sit with us, don't know about Demyx though" Axel stated, taking a bite of his ice cream, you looked at your friend

"no news, I'm never welcomed anywhere" he told you "you can stay, I'll go"

You shook your head "I'm sorry for disturbing you, Axel, Roxas, Xion, we'll be on our way" 

Axel stared at you until you disappeared in another portal and used the dark corridor to reach the roof of the old mansion in the forest. It wasn't as good as the tower, but it was quite good.

"you know.." Demyx started "if I were you, I would've left you alone and stayed with them" he said, licking the ice cream, you looked at him

"Mhmh, I don't think so. " you smiled at him, leaving him confused, then he laughed all of a sudden. 

 


	15. Switch

When Axel was with Roxas and Xion he was different, he was soft and cheerful. With you he was mostly harsh and even cruel at times. You were really thinking that maybe Demyx was right, and that Nobody was just using you or playing with you, even studying you, like he said.

You were now on another mission with him, back at the Beast's castle. Walking down the corridor adorned with armors on the sides, he looked more serious than ever, but you decided to speak regardless.

"Axel.. Why are you so.. Huh.. harsh with me?" you asked, hoping he wouldn't get mad

"I'm not harsh with you, I'm your mentor and not only"

You instantly blushed "w-what do you mean with not only?" your mind wondered off the railroad

"that I know your little secret" he smirked

"oh, wait.." you put yourself in front of him, stopping his walk

"so what happened that night.. and that kiss.. got no value?" you gathered the courage to ask, he tilted his head a bit to the side

"what meaning would a test have?" he slightly bended over you with a teasing voice and expression

"th-that's not how it normally works!" you complained

"I decide how it works" he moved you to the side to keep walking towards the end of the corridor, but before he could open the next door, you put yourself in-between them, he sighed, exasperated

"I noticed your bruises are almost gone. Are you trying to collect new ones?" his hand caressed your throat, making you shiver

"that's not the point.." 

"how do you feel?" 

"huh?"

"towards me, how do you feel?" he was really intrigued by you, but like the other Nobodies, he really had poor emotional intelligence.

You looked away from him "Uhm.. I.." you put a hand on your heart to gather some strength and he noticed the gesture, a half smile appeared on his face

"well.. Guess I won't ever understand girls" he didn't seem to care that much "now move, would you?" 

"don't speak like you had any experience with girls" you whined

"oh I did, don't know what made you assume the contrary"

You became even more embarrassed and a bit jealous of his unknown past, you crossed your arms and stood there, unmovable. 

"are you asking for another slap or what?" his right hand squeezed your throat while his left hand showed you a flame at a few inches from your face, you swallowed and opened your mouth to speak, but soon the little flame was extinguished by some water thrown by the same teapot of the last time you went there, Axel looked at it, annoyed

"let her go, you monster!" she said

He sighed "monster, huh" he straightened up and let you go pushing you to the side, to get through the door

"lady! Are you still with that man? He's not quite right for you" you leaned towards the object

"he's not a monster.. He's just without a heart" you scoffed "don't worry, everything's fine" 

"it didn't look fine to me" a wardrobe moved and made you jump out of your boots "I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you. Just an advice, abusive relationships are no good for your health, young lady"

You smiled at her "I.. I know, but he's not serious, I mean.. He doesn't do it with anger or evilness in his mind"

The two women looked at each other with hopelessness "so he's your prince?"

"I wouldn't say prince.. He's the one I fell for, can't choose that after all, right? Anyway good luck, I gotta follow him, see you!"

You ran through the door and to Axel, but before reaching him you fell to the ground, tripping over the carpet, he heard you and turned around

" what's your problem with walking?"

You sat on the floor, touching your lip " Is there a cut again? " you asked, looking up at your mentor

"get up, we'll fix it"

You got up and noticed a drop of blood dripping from your bottom lip "oh damn.. Not again, I'm so stupid"

"you are."

"hey! That's not fair" his lips suddenly touched yours, he kept you still with his hand on your throat, you were so focused on it that you didn't notice darkness surrounding you and taking you to his room until you fell on your back onto his bed, never interrupting the kiss. He was over you now, his left hand at the side of your head and the other one slipped from your neck to your right breast, slightly squeezing it, you instinctively moaned and it interrupted the kiss. The Nobody clicked a button under the bed to close both portal and door and started unzipping your coat

"wait.. What.. What are you doing Axel? The mission?" you asked, embarrassed and confused

"I'll finish it later, you're a throbbing provocation.." once he unzipped it, you threw it off onto the floor, the hand that previously was squeezing your breast sneaked under your t-shirt, caressing your skin to reach your nipple, you whimpered at his touch

" a-are you going to disappear once you've obtained a certain reaction from me?" you were reminded of the last time you two came close to having sex, he smirked

"oh, you have no idea of what reaction I want to see right now" his voice turned you on as his waist brushed against yours and you felt heat rising in your whole body, you pressed against his clothed crotch, but the hand on your breast went to your abdomen, pushing it down

"not yet" he said, the right hand was squeezing your throat and you let out a whimper of pain, another bruise coming.

His grip softened up and his hand slid to the right side, his face got closer to the left side, you felt his lips brushing against your skin before kissing, sucking and licking it, you softly moaned a few times. His left hand went back to the bed, sustaining him, you were starting to feel like you didn't have any other choice but to let him own you, you were harmless and completely vulnerable at that moment.

Your body shivered feeling a sharp pain on your neck, he bit you with his fangs before licking where he bit and getting back up, you were panting.

"you're already in this condition, huh.." he removed the hand from your throat to take off your trousers, slips and his coat, leaving you with your t-shirt and bra on, you were so embarrassed you couldn't look at him in the eyes. The Nobody still got his gloves on, and with his left hand, he brushed against your entrance, making you tremble, then removed it right away, showing you the liquid

"wet again, why are you always so wet with me around? When I hurt you and when I play with you.." the grip on your neck became stronger, your fingers wrapped around his wrist, but before you could moan he kissed you once again

"wanna scream?" Axel teasingly asked, you didn't understand why you would scream now. His left hand was on your right hip, and it started burning, tears in your eyes, but you couldn't scream for the hard grip on your neck, then he released the grip and the heat calmed down, you were sobbing

"A-Axel.. it hurts.." you whispered

"what's sex without a little hurt?" you heard him unzipping his pants and you immediately felt pressure against your entrance, you still felt cloth between the two of you, but the pressure was giving you pleasure, you wanted him. 

Your right hand directed to your clitoris, but before you could reach it, he grabbed your wrist and pinned it to the bed, heating it up until you were crying again, he chuckled at the sight

"if I release your wrist, promise me you won't do anything, or I'll be obliged to punish you.." he whispered in your ear, you mimicked a "yes" with your lips and he released your hand, bringing his own to his crotch and probably freeing his penis since when his hand came back to the side of your head, you felt him without any cloth on.

Axel left you enough breath on purpose just to hear you moan, you felt the tip slowly going in, he was bigger than you remembered, his grip on your throat was trembling a bit, as if he wanted to choke you more, but he was restraining himself just to hear you moan

When you thought he was all in, he moved his left hand to your hip again and gave a strong thrust, earning a loud moan from you, both of pleasure and pain since you could feel him up to your belly, your back couldn't help arching and your waist couldn't help pressing against him, you were locked together

"hush, calm down" you were moaning too loudly now, he decided to cut in half your breath, squeezing your throat. Axel started thrusting inside of you, slowly at first, then faster, his left hand squeezed your breast, keeping your nipple in-between two fingers, squeezing it in a way to give you pleasure but also pain, along with the burning sensation. At a certain point, his hand went to your thigh and butt, pressing you towards him even more at each thrust, they were way stronger now and at times you managed to let out a whimper or a moan, you knew that he probably couldn't go any deeper than he already was, for the anatomy of your body, but it felt like he could break you in an instant.

You felt a hot shiver running up from your insides and the spots he was hitting "A-Axel... I'm.. You're gonna break me.." the smirk on his face came back as his right hand choked you and stopped at the point closest to death, bending over you and carefully staring, he finally came inside of you, you came too, arching your back. For a few seconds you maintained that position, before he cooled his left hand down and let you breathe again. 

Your body was trembling from time to time and you couldn't help the shivers running throughout your body as you panted loudly, both of you still pressing against each other and your hands were squeezing his wrist so much you didn't know you had that strength inside

He was slightly panting, not too much, but he probably liked the experience. Then he pulled out, earning another soft moan from you. As he got up and adjusted his appearance, you pressed your legs together, feeling weak and your head dizzy

"I'll be back" he said after getting his coat back on too, exiting the door and leaving you there.

You hugged the pillow and fell asleep right away, wrapping your whole body around it, imagining it was him. 

 

 


	16. Moon shining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for having read this FF up to this point, I hope you're enjoying c:

Axel was standing in front of you with his arms crossed, bored. As you opened your eyes, you realized what happened and hid your face into the pillow

"still embarrassed? Or you already regret it?" he asked, calmly, almost joking

You spoke against the pillow "I love you.. " just a whisper escaped your lips and the sound was muffled

"what?" he heard noises, not clear words, so you removed the pillow to let him hear

"I.. I love you.. That's what I feel for you.." you sat up on the bed, still without your clothes on and lightheaded. You never wanted to tell him that you loved him, cause you knew he would never say that he loved you too, he simply couldn't feel it, but it slipped out of your mouth, it was a weight on your chest. 

A smirk appeared on the Nobody's lips "bad for you, I guess"

Your heart ached, as you expected "so.. Not even this meant anything to you?" you hoped to hear something he actually couldn't say, cause it would be a lie, but even a lie would make you feel better. 

"sex is sex. I liked it. But if you wanna know something special that you gave me, it's your reaction to it, and this love for me. It's the most interesting thing I ever witnessed and I'm.." he paused, searching for the right words  "Fascinated by it, let's say"

That's the maximum you could earn from him. Interest. He noticed that you looked unsatisfied

"I like spending time with you as much as I like doing so with Roxas. I enjoy it." the Nobody added, accompanied by a slight gesture

"now go, grab your clothes and take a shower in my bathroom, I finished the mission earlier. I'll be waiting here" he sat down on his chair and you went to the bathroom to quickly do as he said, you were really excited about what happened, but still, your heart ached like your body did and you wanted to wash way all of the embarrassment and thoughts you were carrying. 

 

When you were done, the two of you went out of the room and suddenly, Saïx appeared with his usual unbearable attitude

"you disappeared for quite a while. What were you two doing in there?"

You blushed while Axel replied to him"teaching some discipline again" he yawned and stretched a bit

"do you have any proof?"

"sure" he pushed you towards Saïx and the blue haired Nobody analyzed you from head to toes, noticing the fresh bruises on your neck. Then he looked at Axel and you again. 

"you'll stay at the castle now, we need you inside, while you, Axel" he turned to him "you'll go on your usual missions, twice a day" 

Axel sighed "why do I always end up doing all the work.." the Nobody complained, he waved and disappeared in a snap of fingers. You were now left alone with Saïx, visibly afraid of him.

"we have to talk" he said turning around and walking towards his studio, you followed him

"what's this about? I didn't do anything bad" you sighed, but you didn't want to give him the impression you were talking back to him. 

The two of you walked through the corridor, but a door was open and you took a peek inside, seeing Xion asleep on her bed, Saïx noticed

"keep walking" you shivered at the sound of his harsh voice, but you followed his orders, entering his studio and still wondering if she was okay. The room was full of documents and reports, a desk and a chair were positioned in the middle of the room, another chair on the other side of the desk, you frowned as a thought crossed your mind 

" why does this look awfully like a visit to a psychologist?" your comment wasn't a good choice

"sit down" you were ordered and you sat right away, he simply placed a hand on the desk by your side instead, standing and looking at you

"I change the sentence I said earlier. This looks awfully like an interrogation room" you joked, the tension was rising though. 

"Xemnas trusts you. I don't." he started

"yeah.. I noticed" you scoffed in response

"quit with the sarcasm and answer, where do you come from?" 

"that's none of your business, and I got no memories of my past whatsoever" you crossed your arms, staring at him the same way he was staring at you, he didn't appreciate that comeback

"well then. What do you feel for those two?"

"those two.. Who?" you teased, at this point you wanted to make him tick, maybe come close to something he wasn't supposed to do, so Xemnas would punish him, you hoped 

"Axel and Demyx" he clarified, not ticking yet

"oh.. I'm a Nobody, what feelings do you want me to have?" you rolled your eyes back, he stayed silent for a second before speaking again

"answer the question" 

"I don't know? Why don't you ask these questions to Demyx? He shows as many emotions as I do" you stated with nonchalance "and Axel for Roxas and Xion too" you added and stood up

"I didn't give you permission to leave" he insisted, with a stern look

"then watch me break another rule" you were about to get out of that place, but he slammed you against the wall, even though he looked calm, he probably wasn't. 

"hey! If you kill me, less hearts to collect, I even got the Keyblad-" 

"I'm sick of you." his hand was on your throat, squeezing in a violent way, cutting your words off, you put a hand on his wrist and with the other one you tried pushing him away pressing against his chest, it didn't work

"answer the questions. Where do you come from, what's your purpose?"

"I... I can't remember, but I'm here to get a heart.." 

His hand moved you from the wall and slammed you against it anew, making you whimper

"why is it that.. That you hate me.." you managed to ask in a whisper

"I don't hate, you're the one with a heart, I'll simply make you admit it for the sake of this organization" 

"I'm a Nobody.. I'm-" he threw you against the floor next to the desk, when you tried getting up, he gave you a slap as strong as the one Axel gave you in the beast's castle, making you spit blood, it left you speechless

"answer the questions" he repeated

"I.. Don't.. Remember my past.." you said again, not willing to give up, then Saïx grabbed you by the hair, brought you up and pushed you against the table, pressing your face and chest on it, he was now behind you

"physical pain doesn't work with you, does it? Axel disciplined you too much. I think it's time to try something more effective for the likes of you" 

You felt him moving your coat up, you didn't know what he meant, but got it when you felt his crotch against your clothed entrance, your eyes widened

"No, no, it's unnecessary, please, it's not.." your heart was beating fast, you had still no idea he was serious

"it will be unnecessary when you'll tell the truth" he moved your trousers and slips out of the way, you tried fighting back but you couldn't, he was too strong for you

"please no, please.. I'm telling the truth" you whispered

"are you begging me?"

His clothed crotch pressed against your entrance as he bended over you, observing your face, you were trying to hold in your tears, but your eyes were evidently wet, he still wasn't satisfied

A second later you heard the sound of his hand unzipping something, your whole body trembled as his other hand stayed at the back of your neck, keeping you still. You felt his penis close to your vagina, pressing enough to make you feel the tip of it, you whimpered when it slightly entered you, a whine escaped your mouth

"don't, don't, Saïx, Just don't.. Don't.. I told you the truth.. Please!" you begged him, now realizing what kind of situation you were in

"you didn't tell the truth, I know the truth"

Your left hand managed to get to his abdomen, trying to keep him away, but it was useless, you started sobbing and crying

"Axel.." you whispered "A-Axel..."

Finally, Saïx let you go, he zipped his trousers and coat back up and went to the door of the studio

"I proved my point." you heard him saying. 

 

It took you a while to pull you together, it was an emotional trial, you already couldn't bear him, now even less. 

When you managed to be presentable again, you ran to your room and cried for a while under the blanket before falling asleep. 

 

The day after, early, you ran to Axel's room and he opened, he was lying on his bed with his hands behind his head. When you saw him, you climbed on the bed, hugging him tight

"Axel, you're here.. I love you so much.." you buried your head in his chest, you sounded troubled

"did something happen?" he didn't move, holding a popsicle stick in his mouth

"Saïx found out about my.. My heart.."

"and? It's not that much of a problem. Things are about to change anyway." he sighed

"to get it out, he.. He did things, Axel.."

"he tortured you?"

"he did, but not just that, if I didn't tell him the truth, he would have raped me.. " Axel touched your newly bruised cheek as you looked at him, he didn't like the picture that appeared in his mind. There was a minute of silence. 

"get up" you looked at him "get up" he repeated, you got up and he did too

He burned the stick that was previously in his mouth "see you later" and disappeared, his look wasn't happy at all. 

You ran through the corridors to see where he went, finding nothing, until Demyx grabbed your forearm "Y/N, where have you been?"

You didn't answer at first "nevermind, I just saw Axel and Saïx arguing.. Like.. Arguing in a bad way. I recognise when the firework is angry by his eyes" he mimicked him, then giggled "by the way, What happened?" 

"uhm.. I'll tell you later.." you sighed

"just tell me" 

"Saïx kinda.. Kinda tortured me.. Half rape maybe? I don't know, but I really felt like he wanted to kill me" you whispered

"what the fuck?" 

"language, Demyx" you crossed your arms, trying to lighten up your own mood

"and that bruise on your cheek? him?"

"yeah.." 

"what the fuck?" and he went off, running, you followed him right where Saïx and Axel were, they were talking, it didn't look like an argument, but they both looked really serious. 

"Saïx, you bitch! How did you dare?" Demyx barked at him, in all this, the blue haired Nobody was still as cold as a piece of ice

"stay out of this, Demyx" he warned him

"fuck you! Coward, just cause she's physically weak, you stoop so low! Just take me on, punk" Demyx looked really angry, but even Axel ignored him

"that's not the way to do something, did Xemnas give you permission? Letting ourselves go is against the rules" your partner said instead, talking to Saïx

"there's no right way, we are Nobodies. We have to do what's best for the organization, no matter the means." Saïx stated

"how did it benefit the organization then?"

"I found out that she got a heart and tricked us. Who knows where she comes from, what's her purpose"

"she helped us collect hearts til now, though"

"you're the one who tortured her first, way worse than me." Saïx gazed at you and you hid behind Demyx, avoiding the enemy

"plus, you're growing too attached to her" he added

"I'm not, just shut your mouth Saïx, I'll talk to Xemnas about this. The difference is, I was allowed to do it when I did it to her, you weren't" Axel stated, in a pissed and serious tone of voice. 

"and I'll talk to Xemnas about her heart, you're starting to sound like a jealous boyfriend" Saïx disappeared into the darkness and Axel turned to you and Demyx, scratching the back of his head

 "you kinda sound a bit jealous" Demyx said, you elbowed him

"I'm not jealous, I don't even think I can remember what jealousy is like" he shook his head and shrugged

"well.. Now what do we do? They know I have a heart.." you said, worried

"everything will go just fine" Axel said with nonchalance

"but better keep an eye open though, sleep in Demyx' room for a while" he continued

You blushed "what?" Demyx asked the same

"for your safety" Axel crossed his arms. You weren't really embrassed, you simply weren't sure you would manage to sleep in there. 


	17. Promise

Things were about to change, Axel said. He was right.

Nothing happened for a week, you kept sleeping in Demyx' room just to be sure, but nothing was apparently wrong. You normally went on missions and Saïx didn't particularly bother you, then Xion disappeared. In a corridor, you heard Axel telling Roxas that she was on a mission, but you knew she wasn't, he was hiding something. 

Then after a few days, it was officially announced that she was gone, while after that, you were all granted a day off. 

You could feel the tension rising outside and inside, as you knew that sooner or later someone would be ordered to kill or capture you. You simply knew it. And Axel was convinced too, it was inevitable. 

During the day off, your mentor brought you with him and Roxas on their search for Xion. You searched all of the worlds she might be in together, but then you decided to head to Castle Oblivion. It was the place where she was created, Axel informed you and his friend. 

You had nothing to do with Roxas and Xion, so you felt a bit out of place, but it didn't matter, you felt safer outside the organization building and were glad to help. In that Castle, Roxas blacked out and you all retreated in a backstreet of twilight town to help him recover. But soon you were left alone, as Axel and Roxas ran after two black coated figures, one of them might have been Xion.

You sighed and looked at the sky, thoughtful, it all felt terribly wrong and even your heart ached

"Master Yen Sid.. This wasn't why you sent me here.. I'll probably get myself killed. Still, you sent me with the organization.. Was I really such a nuisance?" you almost asked yourself, wondering. 

 

You waited there for a while. More than a while. Hours. Nothing was going right anymore.

A dark portal finally opened and Axel appeared, you smiled at him and got up, then noticed that he was touching his chest, in deep thoughts

" did something happen? " you asked, worried

" I was just thinking, I really don't have a heart" he spoke in a serious tone, and maybe a bit troubled, you couldn't tell.

You instinctively hugged him, and as always, he didn't hug you back "anyway" he changed the subject "I'm here to tell you that Xion must be retrieved or eliminated. Same as you"

"what?" your eyes widened and you took a step back "so.. You're here to kill me? Or retrieve me?" you weren't keeping your guard up, you were about to let him do whatever he thought was fine. 

"possibly retrieve you"

"possibly?" you gasped "Axel, do I have any actual value? Am I important to you?"

"how many times do I have to repeat myself?" he sighed "you are, but not in an emotional way. I know for a human it's hard to understand"

"would you immediately kill me If you were ordered to?" you heart was aching even more

"I don't know, it depends on some other factors" he replied right away, his seriousness scared you

"I know... I know that Demyx wouldn't"

"are you sure about that?" he gestured, giving you a trading look, and you looked back at him, troubled. Silence, until he spoke again

"like I thought. Now let's get back. Xemnas wants to talk to you"

 

You followed Axel into the portal and, once back at the castle, you went to Xemnas' room, he was waiting you there. His was a huge area, well adorned with furniture too.

"oh, you're finally back" he stated, a shiver ran down your spine hearing his deep voice

"yeah.. Uhm.. Why didn't you just have the others kill me?" you asked, he got up from his chair, coming close to you, too close even

"you wield the power of the Keyblade, it doesn't matter if you got a heart or not, you've been helping us and you'll help us again. Also, Axel grew quite fond of you, and I believe it prevented him from going astray" his hand went to your shoulder

"you are a useful key, and as long as you're here, I don't need to know your purpose. I will only when you'll leave, If you'll leave. I'm sure you won't go anywhere with Axel and Demyx still in my Organization" his hand fell by his side again

"nothing will happen to them.. Right?"

"who knows what the destiny's hiding from us" he said, turning around and back to his chair "dismissed" he went to the window, looking out. 

 

You didn't need to sleep in Demyx' room anymore, so you went to your room. Xion was back too and you were told that tomorrow she would go on a mission again.

You were confused about all the come in, get out that Xion was doing. Suddenly, Demyx entered your room

"hey.. How are you? Nice to see you back"

"Demyx.. What if.. What if I made a deal with Xemnas?"

The Nobody looked at you quite surprised "you made a deal with Xemnas?"

"I didn't yet. But think about it. Xion and Roxas are in danger. I know Xemnas needs a full Keyblade wielder and I still don't understand why he can't let Xion and Roxas go and just use me. So I'm gonna ask him that"

"I don't think it's a good idea"

"I just want them to be happy.. Roxas, Xion.."

"Axel" he finished the sentence for you "I know you want him to be happy, but without a heart, would he ever be?" he scratched the back of his head

A frown appeared on your face "argh! It's all so confusing!" you complained

"look, let's go on a mission tomorrow, just don't think about it"

 

You tried. You intensively tried not to think about anything, but those problems were so rooted in your thoughts that you couldn't help them anymore. You went on a mission with Demyx, but nothing changed, and the day after, Axel told you Xion had escaped again.

From then on, no peace could be found. Roxas escaped too and the missions were halted, Axel disappear but you knew he went off to look for them both.

Now you were wasting your time in the living room, walking around, thinking about what to do.

"hey heartie, what's wrong?" Xigbar asked. Since when Xemnas revealed your true nature, some of them started bullying you, somehow, and Xigbar started calling you Heartie, you had no emotions to hide, so at least you could be yourself.

"everything's wrong, Xigbar. It's not fair what's happening, where is Axel? Then Xion is a puppet, you were using both Roxas and her and it's awful, I.."

"ouch, that's why I don't like people with hearts, you make too much noise" and he went away, waving, guess emotions were a good repellent for Nobodies, with a few exceptions.

You heard a thud coming from the entrance and went to check where it came from, Axel was lying on the ground and Xemnas was bringing Xion's body to the laboratory. He looked at you for an instant before disappearing.

You ignored the leader and ran to Axel "Axel! Are you okay?" he looked injured "Am I.. vanishing?" he weakly asked before fainting. 

"you're not.. You're not." you couldn't move him, he was too heavy "Demyx!" you called, but he was probably too far to hear, Saïx appeared instead and you looked at him, surprised and irritated "what do you want? To watch him die?"

"grab him by the feet, I'll lift him from the shoulders" your eyes widened, you didn't trust him, but any help was important now.

You two brought him to his bed and you healed him with medicines as much as possible. Saïx went away after that and you stayed with the red haired Nobody all night long till he woke up at noon of the next day, you had slept there too.

Finally, you felt a hand on your head and you opened your eyes, looking up at him, he was sitting now 

"what happened to me?" he caresses his head, it probably hurt

"you.. Battled Xion and brought her back, remember?"

"xion? Who is xion?"

Your eyes widened, he didn't remember. You decided to drop the subject and bring it up later, maybe he forgot her because of the psysical trauma that battle has been for him. 

"on a mission, sorry I forgot a part of the sentence" you giggled 

"you've been here all night?" he still looked tired, yawning

"I have. I told you that I love you"

The Nobody sighed "no need to repeat it, are you having fun reminding me that I don't have a heart?"

"no way" you smiled at him, a half smile appeared on his face too, just to disappear right after. 

"Roxas is gone.. Isn't he?" he became serious once again

"yeah. You want to.. Bring him back?"

"I promised" 

 "so what are you gonna do?" he tried getting up and you helped him since he still risked losing his balance

"I'm sorry" he said all of a sudden

"what for?"

"not being able to love you" you painfully smiled hearing those words

"it's okay. I think it's better this way" Axel looked at you before smiling back, he probably didn't understand how your feelings worked. You were sure it was just a moment of weakness for him and he would certainly go back to his smirk, teases and cocky attitude when he'll be fine again. You wanted to make the best of that moment though. 

You helped him reach the kitchen and sit down on a chair

"what do you wanna eat? I'll cook something for you" his injuries were still bad, even though he woke up

"huh.. Anything, I'm starving" he sighed, you blushed looking at him, thinking about how close you two became, for you at least. 

You brushed his cheek with a hand while the other one went to rest at the base of his neck, your lips pressed against his and he kissed you back right away, your tongues intertwined as his hand landed on the side of your throat. Then you tried interrupting it, thinking it was enough, but he held you there for a while more with the hand on your neck. When you parted, your face was all red, he kept looking at you with a stern look while you wanted to escape it since it was pressuring you a bit too much

"I'll.. I'll make scrambled eggs!" 

You quickly got some eggs and started cooking, you didn't turn around until you were done with it and brought him the plate

"it looks nice" he commented

"can I.. sit next to you?" you shyly asked, Axel looked at you, expressionless, he probably wasn't in the right status to monitor his external responses

"sure, why do you even have to ask? I don't have emotions, but I know we're close" 

You smiled at him, it really was a moment of weakness. 

 


	18. Roxas

"I'll help you find Roxas!" you almost yelled at Axel, he was looking through reports in the computer room to find info

"it's none of your business" he coldly answered

"it is! I helped back then, and I consider Roxas a friend already" you talked back

His moment of weakness linked to his physical injuries was long gone, and you regretted not having used it a bit more, but on the other hand you were glad he was alright.

Still, he started working hard to find Roxas and bring him back, even though you knew he was probably hiding quite well from the organization for understandable reasons. Axel looked like he was chasing something unreal, some emotions he couldn't feel, but only remember and those memories haunted him like hungry spirits. You didn't know if he could get out of it, maybe just a heart could help him.

So you went on your usual missions, doing your best to gather hearts while he investigated. 

 

You were sent to the Neverlands with Saïx, the members were decimated so he had to go on cooperative missions too, you were skeptical about him, scared even, after what he said and did, but you had to go, and you decided to do it with a positive mindset. 

You were now walking on the shore, noticing some rocks and sparkling seashells, you stopped to look at the sun slowly going down, it was still quite early though. 

"what are you doing? Don't slack off"

"Saïx.." you started, picking up a seashell and throwing it into the water "now that everyone knows I got a heart, what have you obtained?" you carefully asked

"obtaining something wasn't my goal, I wanted to be sure you weren't another traitor or a possible threat to the organization" the Nobody calmly answered

You sat down on the sand with a thud "you and Axel were friends, right?"

Silence for a second before he opened his mouth. 

"we were. Now get up, we aren't done with this mission yet"

"you know, now that I don't have to hide my feelings anymore everything is a little bit easier.." you sighed, he was now standing next to you

"you humans make me sick to my stomach, honestly, your emotions are-" he muttered with disgust in his eyes as you interrupted him

"I know, I heard you insulting Demyx with the term 'human' before, maybe you really are a bad person after all" you lied down with your hands behind your head, looking at the sky

"it's not that bad having emotions, it's hard, but it's not something I would renounce to"

"no one asked you" you had the impression Saïx' tone had something different in it, as if in an old memory, something similar happened and it was just a game, he probably noticed it and stopped looking at you, turning towards the sea

"I never liked you, Saïx, just you, how you treated me and some others was awful. But I think everybody reacts differently to losing their heart, don't they?" you scoffed, looking at him. You weren't holding a grudge against him, he had no heart, it would be like being angry at Axel or Demyx for lacking emotional empathy, it was against their nature, you couldn't demand it

".. Get up, we have to finish the mission"

"are you really in the organization to get a heart? It doesn't look to me like you want one"

"enough"

You sighed and got up, a thought crossed your mind, weird and dangerous, it required some courage, but it was an interesting experiment. 

You took a deep breath "can I hug you?" you asked with a soft smile on your face, he stared at you without saying anything. You didn't know if he was thinking about it or what.

"you can't" he finally said, you crossed your arms, unsatisfied

"but you thought about it" you insisted 

"I didn't"

"you did think about it and you actually owe me that for what you did to me, also an apology would be great" you rolled your eyes, playing around. Maybe you simply pictured him as a monster in the beginning, and this made him one before your eyes. Maybe he wasn't as bad as you thought he was. Like each one of the Nobodies, he wasn't understandable at first look, but you started to think that perhaps you knew what troubled him. 

He didn't reply, so you spoke instead "you know.. I had a best friend once. We were inseparable, he was important to me. One day he met someone else and they became best friends. He preferred him to me, and I was left aside, I.. I didn't even try to fit in. It made me sad, I was so jealous of him.. How could he prefer someone else? I still don't know whose fault was that, I just know that then he was killed, and I never found out. But now I regret it, maybe things could have been different.."

You felt his eyes on you, not angry or anything, just neutral, he didn't even look annoyed

"..let's go" and he was off, you followed him this time, and went to the main target to complete the mission, nor you or him spoke again. 

 

Once you were back to the castle, you found Axel in the computer room where you left him, he yawned and turned towards you when you came in, he was still sitting on the spinning chair in front of the desk

"are you okay, Axel? Found anything?" you cheerfully asked

"not much. But I'm getting closer. I'll go to Twilight town tomorrow"

"can I come with you?"

The Nobody shook his head, you sighed before speaking again

"Axel.. Do you feel jealousy sometimes? Well, not feel, I mean.. Sense through your memories"

He tilted his head, holding it up with his hand, elbow on the arm of the chair and he even crossed his legs, looking interested in what you were saying now

"I don't think I do. I wasn't that kind of guy that had jealousy in his heart I guess" a smirk on his face, it sent a shiver down your spine, was he teasing you again? You couldn't tell, but your cheeks became reddish

When he was sitting and you weren't, you were taller than him, so it always left you a bit embarrassed when he got up all of a sudden, and so he did, now looking down at you, he lifted your chin up to make you look at him

"want me to be jealous of you?" the smirk on his face didn't want to go away, you heavily blushed 

 "I-it wasn't about that! It was about Saïx.." you stuttered

"about Saïx?" he asked, now curious

"I think he's jealous of you.." you weakly stated

"let him be then.." his lips touched yours, but you immediately parted the kiss, slightly pushing against his chest with your hands

"I think it's important, Axel.." you hated yourself for having parted a rare kiss, but you couldn't regret it now, his left hand grabbed your right wrist quite strong and moved it to the side, his right hand grabbed your neck, he smirked before kissing you again, for longer this time. You couldn't really deny anything to him, like it or not.

You whimpered as his hand started quietly squeezing until the kiss parted and you were left with your heart pounding out of your chest. 

"I know about him, no need to be so concerned" he released you and sat back down, turning to check other reports, you swallowed, he didn't seem to care that much about the matter. 

 

You exited the room and didn't expect to cross Saïx right away, you thought he would ignore you

"you're always with him, aren't you?" he sounded as calm as awalys, right outside the door, you showed him an awkward smile

"love is an inconceivable feeling" he muttered, surpassing you and walking away, you looked at him, weird statement he made.

"Y/N, how's it going?" Demyx walked to you, you sighed in response

"tomorrow Axel will go to twilight town to look for Roxas, but I.." you were troubled

"you what?" 

"I don't think I want him to be found and brought back.." 

"huh? You're jealous?" he crossed his arms

You shook your head "I'm not, not at all, they're best friends and I'd like to see them together. But.. I don't think that's the best for Roxas, just thinking, the same happened with Xion. But.." you sighed "whatever, don't mind me" you stretched your neck

"Mh, that could actually be true, but who is this Xion you keep mentioning?"

"no one, don't worry, I keep misspelling words" you giggled. There was this one thing you had noticed, no one remembered Xion anymore since that day when Axel came back injured. But somehow, for some reason, you remembered her.

"I see.. Anyway, wanna go eat ice cream?" 

"sure thing" 

 

The day after, another bad news. Axel managed to find Roxas in a copy of twilight town, he was trapped there and didn't remember anything, so your partner said.

Plus, Xemnas gave the order to eliminate him, if you couldn't retrieve him. 

As far as you knew, Roxas was nothing but Sora's Nobody, and Sora was another Keyblade wielder, just like you, he was sleeping because he had lost his memories, but had to be recomposed with Xion and Roxas, Xion was already gone and no one even remembered her. Would it happen to Roxas too?

 

You looked at Axel's bed, he was missing. Since when he was ordered to erase Roxas, he disappeared and you knew he couldn't come back, Saïx said he failed at dealing with Roxas and was he to show his face in the castle again, he would be properly dealt with. 

 

A few days later you found Demyx nervously walking in the hallway "what are you doing Demyx? Something happened?"

"Xaldin died" he said, your heart skipped a beat, how was it possibile? You thought about Axel, but why would he? It didn't make any sense

"h-how?" you frowned, worried

"he confronted Roxas and never returned" you knew he was talking about Sora, you sighed

"oh, well.." You patted your friend on the back

" we don't really know if he's dead, do we?" you tried cheering him up, he was serious though, for the first time in a while, the situation bothered him, then he smiled again

" bah, I never liked that gorilla"

The two of you laughed "so, what are you doing today? Ice cream?" you asked him

"no, I got a mission"

"oh, special mission?"

"nah, nothing I can't handle, what about you?" he gestured

"I'll go looking for Axel. I have to find him" 

Demyx nodded "take care, please" you told him before going on your way.

 

 

 

 


	19. Flow of memories

You found not a sign of Axel in twilight town, so you entered the last place left to check, the old mansion.

It was gloomy and creepy under a certain point of view, almost haunted, until you reached a white room, drawings all over the walls. Axel, Roxas and at times Xion were pictured on them, then Sora and others, you stared at some of them, analyzing the details, you had no idea who drew them. 

You changed room, and in that one you found a passage to a computer in the basement, through another door you finally found a completely burnt room instead, the smell of flaming rage was still recognizable, no one could do that, Axel was there.

 

You came back to the HQ quite excited, you still had no clue, but you felt closer to finding him. 

Demyx was on the couch in the hallway and you thought he was sleeping at first "Demyx, I gotta tell you something" you received silence in response "Demyx?"

He didn't answer. At that point you noticed some injuries and bruises all over him, your body became as cold as ice "Demyx what..? I'll.. I'll bring some medicines" you were about to walk away, but he softly grabbed your sleeve. 

"wait.."

You stopped "what happened? Tell me" you sounded really worried

"Roxas, he beat me up.. I told them I wasn't the right guy for this"

"stupid.. At least you're alive" you immediately went off to the infirmary and treated him with some of the medicines.

You had nothing against Sora, he was kind of being bullied by the organization after all, he was the victim and you were probably wrong, but your friend's enemy is your enemy.

It was self defence probably, but you couldn't think about losing Demyx, the thought of it made you sick. Even the risk of, one day, telling him 'bye' without knowing it would be the last time.

Saïx observed you for a while from afar before going away and minding his own business.

 

After Demyx regained his normal status, you decided you could no more avoid using dark portals, you had to do it, even if it meant exposing your heart to darkness. You went to your room, practicing, until your friend arrived

"you shouldn't use darkness, I'll do it for you, where do you wanna go?" he leaned against the doorframe 

You shook your head "no Demyx, that's not the point. I gotta go away." you said almost in a whisper

He frowned "away? We will have to kill you for that" arms crossed. 

"I know but.. It's the only way"

"no, you gotta stay, I would.." he paused

"I would miss you" your heart warmed up hearing those words, you smiled at him

"we'll see each other aga-" a portal opened in front of you and you were quite sure it wasn't you the one who opened it, you still weren't that talented at it. A gloved hand came out of the darkness and dragged you inside, making you disappear.

You fell into Axel's arms, in the narrows of twilight town, then looked at him and smiled, glad to see him again, even though now you were worried about your friend's fate. 

"you're here! Axel! I looked for you, I couldn't find you.." you hugged him, while he sighed loudly without moving

"I have to take Kairi, wanna come?" he scoffed, ignoring your reaction

You didn't know who Kairi was, but you nodded anyway.

"Axel, before going.. Why did you bring me with you?" you already freed him from your arms

"I  wanted to see you, like I want to see Roxas again" he turned serious and started walking, you followed him

"I gotta ask you something.. Why didn't you leave the organization when he left it?" you couldn't stop keeping your eyes on him, even while walking

"I wanted to"

"then why didn't you?" he stopped and looked at you without turning to your side

"ah! Would you stop asking questions, is this an interview?" he shook his head and passed a hand through his hair, Axel had adorable or frightening ways of avoiding questions, depended on the situation.

"you know" he turned serious again "you have a strong heart" he said

"what's this all of a sudden? I wouldn't be sure about that" you giggled, embarrassed

"it's not an opinion, it's a matter of fact. Or you would lose your heart through the dark corridors"

Your eyes widened, you didn't know it. He opened a portal as you spoke and you two stepped in, this time he had to do some research to find Kairi, so the corridor was longer.

You were walking by his side, but wondered if you could hold onto his arm or something, your heart needed a bit of contact. You brushed your hand against his before intertwining your fingers, holding his hand. He didn't say anything and didn't do anything, but he surely noticed, you were happy nonetheless. 

 

You stayed inside the corridor as he went out and, in a few minutes, came back in with a girl. She looked younger than you and was very agitated, but she calmed down seeing your face

"you.. I know you, I saw you before" she said, Axel released her wrist and listened carefully, curious

"uh.. what? I don't remember you.. " you apologized with embarrassment

"you were in a photo I got in my album.. In radiant garden"

"radiant garden?" you didn't remember much of that place, you were just a child when your Master brought you there

" Where's that woman with the Keyblade? And.. You look bruised.. " she looked worried saying the last sentence, then angrily looked at Axel who didn't react except for shrugging like he didn't know how you ended up injured

"oh, these bruises are nothing, don't worry" you awkwardly giggled avoiding Axel's stare "About my Master.."

"it's all very interesting" he intruded "but now it's time to go. We're being chased"

The Nobody started walking quite fast and you and Kairi had problems following him "is he always like this?" she asked

"in the organization, during missions I always had to run after him, it's not that he walks fast, but he's tall" you sighed and let out a short chuckle, she smiled back, you really didn't remember about any photo taken there, but you did remember something about your visit to radiant garden. 

You knew that your master brought you there on a trip, to make you visit one of the biggest cities and meet a particular man. You remembered a guarded castle, two guards, some kids, nothing else. It still was a happy period of time.

"why did you kidnap me?" she asked all of a sudden

"well.. Axel wants to retrieve his best friend, and I just want him to be happy, so here we are"

"you two.. Are like me and Sora?" she couldn't help but smile a bit

"huh? I don't actually know about your relationship with that guy.."

"it's nothing like that" you heard Axel pointing out, you had no idea though

"well..you do feel something strong for him, or else you wouldn't be here I think" Kairi was right, what could you do if not smile at her words, then she turned to Axel

"Axel, what's your friend's name?"

He stopped and Kairi bumped against him, the Nobody crossed his arms "hey, what about my personal space?" he complained, turning around 

You laughed but actually, the sight of him having contact with someone else bothered you more than expected, you didn't want to be that kind of girl, but it bothered you.

"sorry.." she apologized

"anyway.. his name's Roxas"

"huh?" her eyes widened "Roxas? I spoke with Roxas! I communicated with him through my heart. He knew me and he knew about Riku too, I don't know how.."

"he dreamt about Sora's memories already, he's his Nobody" Axel was dead serious, it gave you shivers but Kairi seemed unbothered

"what's a.. Nobody?" she asked instead

"well, when a person loses his heart, all that's left is an empty shell, or so I was told. Nobodies don't have a heart, therefore they can't feel emotions" the red haired Nobody kept solemnly staring at you as you explained

"without interferences from emotions, they can easily go directly towards their goals, so it's kind of.. Helpful. Anyway, Axel here is a Nobody too" you finished

"oh.." she brought her hands to her chest and worriedly looked at you, not at him

"is something wrong?" you asked, frowning

"it must be hard for you"

Axel sighed and turned around hearing those words, he'd rather avoid emotional conversations, but before he could realize it, he was thrown to the ground by another Nobody's weapon, Saïx, who appeared from a portal. You ran to Axel, he was holding himself up on a feet and a knee.

"Axel!"

"stay with Kairi!" he managed to say, you summoned the Keyblade, menaced by the enemy

"oh. So there you are too." the blue haired Nobody looked at you with disgust, then he turned to Axel

"you're a traitor. Getting rid of you is such a pity, yet you have to disappear"

You knew it was bad, he went into berserk while you stood on Kairi's side. The fight between the two Nobodies was short, painful to watch, Saïx was frightening and terribly strong, Axel was too, but he had other goals, so he managed to jump further away and summoned a portal.

When you tried hitting Saïx, he easily counterattacked and got you in a chokehold, Axel stopped before stepping inside the portal he created and flee. 

"friendship can't exist, since we do not have hearts, you're chasing something so futile and surreal, still you got the true key in your hands" the Adversary spoke, addressing Axel, but knowing both you and him would hear

"You prefer what's fake, but it'll never come back. While you're going to lose everything else." you felt lightheaded as your air was cut in half, you didn't oppose that much, but patted his wrist instead, he tried ignoring it

"so what do you choose, Nobody? Your fake life or the true life, that won't ever come back?" he finally asked

Axel was hesitating, but you didn't mind it in that situation, you just wanted him to do what he usually did: save himself first.

"Saïx.. " you spoke in a whisper "You've had enough? Cause I'm willing to.. Call it a draw If you are.." the keyblade you held in your other hand was touching his feet and you could hear and see some of his memories, it never happened to you before. 

Axel looked surprised as Saïx threw you away towards him, your partner managed to bring you into the portal and you two found yourselves on top of the twilight clock tower, he sat down, tired. 

You shook your head and stretched your neck, still a bit traumatized "well, that was unexpected" you commented, sitting next to him, but not on the edge

"I should say that. How did you do it?" his eyes on you were magnetic

"do what?" then you remembered "oh, I don't know, I just touched him with the Keyblade and I heard and saw some of his memories, it was weird" you caressed your neck, whimpering at the contact

Then you looked at him, a bit bruised, without saying a word, you guessed he wasn't in the mood to show some emotions lately, you could understand. A thought crossed your mind

"you have a promise to maintain, right? With Roxas" you looked at the sunset as you spoke, he nodded

"well.. Can you make me a promise too?" you turned your head to him

"maybe" he lied down with his back on the roof

"promise me you won't disappear, ever" you felt a stab in your heart pronunciating those words, you brought your hand to his face, brushing a cut on his cheek

"can't promise that" he gazed at the sky 

"oh please! Isa won't kill you anyway, you're best friends!"

"we were. Don't act like you know everything just cause you saw some of his and our memories."

Tears started falling down your eyes all of a sudden, he was annoyed by that

"what now?" Axel let out a loud sigh, exhausted by the emotional turmoil going on around him. 

"I just.. I just don't want you to die. I'll do anything.."

"I don't exist, I can't die, dummy"

You hit him on the abdomen, you didn't actually notice that he had abs until that moment, you almost hurt your hand, but he complained too

"ah, hey!" he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him, making you end up over him, with your hands at the sides of his head, he finally smirked again

"sides got reversed huh?" he joked, while your face turned red as you sat down on his crotch, still facing him. He pushed himself on his elbows, keeping himself up. 

"where's the kiss?" the more he smirked, the more you wanted to kiss him, so you did, your tongues intertwined again as you kept a hand on his chest and one on his cheek, then you interrupted the kiss as a shiver ran up your spine, you felt a bulge where you were sitting on and figured it out

You looked at him, blushing "A-Axel.. This is not.. I mean.."

"press down a little" his teasing voice turned you on, even though you knew it wasn't the right moment or place for such a thing. 

You pressed down a little, as he said, another hot shiver went up your body, your hands pressing against his abs, since you liked feeling them.

You held in a soft moan at the sudden pleasurable feeling and he noticed

"you can't do that" he pointed out

"or I'll have to take you right here and now" he teased, you looked around, the roof of the clock tower wasn't really inviting, but you wouldn't complain either. 

"sorry, did I interrupt something?" a hooded man appeared from behind a pillar, Axel's eyes showed you that he was ready to burn everything to the ground, while you immediately got up and hugged the figure, recognizing his voice.

"Demyx.. Are you alright?" you took down his hood just to reveal a bruise around his eye and some others on his neck

"more or less" he stated, then he looked at Axel "I'm not here to fight, firetruck, I'm just here to see her"

Axel crossed his arms, standing back. 


	20. Goodbye

"Just do as you please, I got a little thing to go fix in the meantime, I'll be back" you didn't even hear Axel saying those words, you hugged Demyx instead, almost crying

" I thought they killed you, I was scared.. " you tightened your hug as he hugged you back

"we can grab some ice cream and eat it together, can't we?" hope in your heart broke when you noticed his impassible expression

He was serious this time "it's better not to"

"what do you mean?" you interrupted the hug and tilted your head to the side. 

"I was assigned a mission. A quite.. Hard mission. I have to go in a while" he vaguely gestured

"what kind of mission? Demyx.." you started figuring it out since he looked so troubled. It was hard he said, and he was avoiding the details, it must involve Sora.

"I won't tell you about it, but I'm here to give you something"

"huh?" you looked at his hand moving towards his pocket and taking something out, he gave it to you

"a.. Drop of water?" it was a beautiful shape, shining under the sunset

"yeah. It's made our of my powers, I put it into that little drop shaped bottle and made a necklace out of it, it looked cool." he smiled, but it was short-lived "so you'll remember"

He helped you wear the gift before you spoke again "why would I forget you, anyway?"

He shrugged "ah, who knows. Anything." the Nobody laughed way too much for that sentence

"case we won't.. Meet again?" you guessed and silence fell, no one dared to speak for a while, then Demyx opened a portal behind him, he sighed

"see you.. Later"

"wait!" you tried grabbing his hand but he was already gone, swallowed by the darkness. 

You looked at your hands, they were trembling, the red sunset was piercing your vision and limbs, so warm, but you felt so cold inside. You shook your head, ten minutes passed and still Axel didn't appear. Now you were worried twice.

You focused on opening a portal, it took you a few minutes, but you manged to do it and carelessly hopped in. It was dark inside, it wasn't the normal environment you saw in other portals, but you didn't mind it. You summoned the Keyblade and used it to detect where the other Keyblade may be, Sora's, since you didn't know how to detect Demyx directly.

 

You created another portal and jumped out, before your eyes you saw the guy you were looking for, giving the final hit to Demyx, stabbing him with the Keyblade. 

"Demyx!" you ran to him, he was still standing, but he was badly injured and his body started to vanish, you angrily looked at Sora with the Keyblade in hand

"a Keyblade..? In the organization?" he based his assumption on your black coat

"I'm not in that damn organization anymore, but how the hell did you think that killing him was a good idea!" you were panicking now

"he was blocking us, and he doesn't have a heart anyway, he doesn't exist!"

"shut up! You don't know anything, you can't speak, you don't know anything about them! " you were crying now, your voice breaking

"he does have a heart, certainly more than you.." you added, turning to your friend

His eyes widened as your Keyblade disappeared and you hugged Demyx, holding him up

"please no, Demyx, you'll be fine.."

"I told him we had hearts, I do believe it now more than ever.." he whispered, pain in his voice

"hey, hey I got, I got a potion.. I got a potion" you searched into your pockets and couldn't find it

"goddammit where is it?" your hands were shaking

"I don't wanna die, Y/N, I didn't even wanna fight.."

"I know, I know, hush, rest, I'll take care of this mess and we'll go back, alright? We'll go back eating ice cream on the tower or.. Or at the mansion or talking about gossip in your room or pranking the other members, we'll go back" you were holding him as if he could slip away one moment or another

"I would like to go back.. I wanna go back with you.." you noticed tears running down his cheeks, you didn't want to see them. You didn't want this day to arrive.

"you are my best friend, Y/N, I.. I don't wanna fade.."

You were both crying the saltiest tears you ever tasted "see you around.. For a mission, right?" you whispered and you saw his sad smile before fading away. You kept crying as Sora stepped closer to you

"you are a human, aren't you? And you also have a Keyblade.."

You summoned your weapon, pointing it towards him

"you killed my best friend, Sora.. " you held in a sob, he seemed bothered by that, his lips pressed against each other

".. But I can't die here yet, I still have one person to live for." you knew you couldn't take on Sora and beat him, even though at that moment, that one was the thing you wanted more. 

You vanished in a dark portal and mistakenly dropped yourself under the rain in the World that Never Was with a thud, now lying on the road. At least you wouldn't feel the tears. You couldn't believe it really happened.

You got up and fought some low rank Nobodies in there, then ran through almost the whole city to find a place where you could use another portal to go look for Axel, but when you found a peaceful dead end, after more time than you could perceive, a portal opened by itself and Sora, Donald and Goofy hopped out of it

"you again?" Sora asked, you lowered your weapon seeing him and not a Nobody, but your muscles were still tense

"how.. How did you use the dark corridor without being corrupted?" you asked, curious

"huh? Oh, Axel opened it, he's.. He's not very well" the boy pointed inside

"Axel?!" you pushed Sora aside and jumped in, looking for the Nobody. Inside of you, you were constantly wishing with all your heart, all your being, to find him alive, even injured, it was fine, but not injured to death.

There was a chance he would go back to be a human in the case of death, but you were pretty convinced he wouldn't.

You dropped to your knees seeing his body vanishing "Axel!" a sharp pain ran your heart over along with the tears falling down. 

"oh.. You made it here, I wasn't expecting you"

"you're fine.. Right?" as you spoke, you already knew the truth, you simply couldn't bear It. He chuckled in response

"I'm fading" he smiled at you, a soft smile, like nothing was wrong "go with Demyx and-" 

"Demyx is dead" you were sobbing again now "Demyx is dead and I can't bear your death too" your left hand was resting on his chest, feeling it move up and down for the last time. 

"hey don't cry, maybe we'll meet in the next life" the Nobody paused "looks like my time is.. Over" his hand slowly went to your cheek, and you leaned down, closing the gap between the two of you

"I really do love you.." you kissed him and he kissed you back, softly and slowly, until he vanished.

You felt emptied of all your emotions and let yourself drop on the ground of that corridor. The most painful kiss of your life.

Your best friend was gone, the person you loved the most was gone, you couldn't do anything else but go back to Yen Sid, yet you didn't, you stayed there and waited for something to happen.

You almost hoped a Nobody would come kill you.

A hour passed and you started feeling your chest hurt, not in an emotional way, the portal was corrupting your heart

"maybe I'll lose my heart.." you whispered to yourself "maybe I will become a Nobody and be saved from this pain.." you closed your eyes.

 

When you opened them, you were inside Yen Sid's tower, you recognized the room. The black coat was gone, replaced by your normal clothes, a long sleeved red shirt with a hood and a black skirt. Attached to your Keyblade, there was a keyholder with Axel's chakram on it and your Keyblade looked now like his weapons.

You let it disappear and got up, still so tired, but also so hyperactive since you remembered something from Saïx' memories and ran to Yen Sid's studio, slamming the door open

"Master Yen Sid! I need a gummiship to go to Radiant Garden, now!" you yelled, not noticing Sora, his two friends and a white haired guy in the same room, they all looked at you quite shocked, then you paid attention to Sora

"Sora?" you frowned

"yeah. Master Yen Sid told me about you, I'm sorry for how I treated you.." he scratched his head, silence for a second until you spoke again

"I don't care about how you treated me, I care that you killed my best friend!" you tried grabbing him, but Riku held you from behind, blocking you, he was taller and way stronger than you. 

"let me go! Let me go you albino obscurity filled guy!" you could sense the darkness he mastered inside

"calm down now, calm down" Yen Sid gestured with his hands

Riku released you, and you adjusted your clothes panting "and you didn't even help Axel" another complaint escaped your lips, Sora sighed, visibly sorry

"first of all, Y/N, I'm glad to have you back" the Master spoke

"you're not. You sent me there to die cause you thought I was useless." you barked, convinced of your words

"I sent you there to help you find a purpose"

"huh?" you tilted your head

"after your Master and friend were killed, you stayed traumatized for too much time. I had not idea how to solve the problem, so I sent you undercover to find out about the Organization's plans. I thought it would give you a purpose. You found another one instead, a new friendship and love"

You blushed as they were all staring at you when Yen Sid said the last word

"love? Who are you in love with?" Sora asked, you swallowed before talking, feeling sadness and anger rising inside

"the Nobody that you left to die" you crossed your arms, bothered by him

"now, now" the Master interrupted "first of all, they weren't people, they were Nobodies, being with no heart, no emotions, no real existence"

"you say that just because you never met them, I passed the majority of the time with them and they felt real, and..and they were alive" you talked back, yet you knew that what he said was right. 

"it doesn't matter regardless, now they're gone."

You looked down, on the verge of tears

"but if you want, I can summon a gummiship for you. Why do you want to head to Radiant Garden?"

"I.. I saw Saïx' memories. And he lost his heart in a laboratory at Radiant Garden,  Axel lost it there too" your eyes wondered out of the windows and towards the sky, wishing you could find Axel soon. 

"what did you say? You saw his memories?" Yen Sid got up, alarmed

"uh.. Yeah, touching him with the tip of my Keyblade I saw some of them" you scratched the back of your neck, embarrassed by the sudden reaction

The master sat down again, while Sora's jaw dropped.

"we'll talk later about this, and about the gummiship.. permission granted. It's waiting you outside"

"thank you Master Yen Sid" you greeted him and ran away, immediately directing to Radiant Garden. 


	21. Radiant Garden

Radiant Garden was quite different from how you remembered it, but it was going back to its usual brightness, still, you looked around and tried guessing where you could find that laboratory you saw in Saïx' memories.

You looked here and there and asked the inhabitants about it, but no one knew or wanted to tell you, so you went near the castle, fortress, or whatever it was, the huge central building, slightly familiar. 

Two guards were talking in front of a door, you frowned "Xaldin? Laexeus?" you carefully asked, you were still a bit scared as you were before, but Xaldin smiled

"Y/N?" the man asked "you survived" he looked way more approachable than when he was a Nobody

"h-hi.. Is Axel here? Can I get in?"

"he's in the laboratory, he woke up yesterday, you can go, I'll accompany you"

You smiled at him, you didn't expect him to be so kind and respectful, more than Axel, for all that mattered. 

He led you through corridors until you reached a room with a computer in it, a man with short dark blue hair was using it, focused

"Zexion?" you asked again, it was like you just woke up from a dream and were now falling into another, meeting everyone again 

"oh, hello Y/N, I'm glad to see you alive, my name is Ienzo now, by the way" he turned to you and shook your hand

"I'm.. I'm glad to see you too" you sincerely smiled at him

"oh but I think you're here for Lea, aren't you?" your smile faded hearing that name, he probably wasn't the person you knew anymore, and maybe he just wanted to leave his past as a Nobody behind, you thought, it still was a possibility. 

"yes but.. I see he isn't here, I'll leave for now, please don't tell him I passed, okay? By-" you bumped against someone with a black coat on while going back through the door

"ouch, I'm sorry.." you looked up just to see Axel. He was identical to when he was a Nobody, upside down tears aside. You lost your balance and fell with your butt on the floor, he was looking down at you now

Both of you didn't say a word, he just helped you get up, you were blushing so hard that everyone noticed, suddenly he put a hand on his chest, thoughtfully taking a breath. It was weird, maybe he was feeling something.

His hand thenwent to your neck, holding it tight, as a reminder more than a threat, he leaned towards you and slowly kissed you on the lips, Ienzo crossed his arms in the meanwhile.

It was a quick kiss, but it was enough for you, you parted and you felt like in a trance, looking at him as he straightened himself up with a hand on his left hip, he looked away from you and wiped off the saliva from his mouth with the other gloved hand. Ienzo coughed, demanding attention

"Lea, I don't think this is the right place" he commented, with little to no embarrassment, maybe just a bit annoyed

"shut up Ienzo." his attention came back to you and you couldn't help but hug him. You hugged him tight, he hugged you back for a second before gently pushing you away, turning around

"alright alright, so.." he was a bit embarrassed, Ienzo noticed it too and sighed with positive hopelessness

"go out you two, I have to check some info and I need to focus" the scientist announced, you looked at Axel as he walked you to another room of the castle, it was empty

"Axel, I'm so happy to see you again! " you smiled at him as he adjusted his hair

"I.." he sighed "I told you that maybe I would feel something, as a human."

"you.. Don't feel anything?" your heart ached for a moment thinking about it

"I do feel" his hand came back to your neck, squeezing "I feel a lot" his lips touched yours once again, when you parted, his usual impassible look appeared on his face and a smirk too, your eyes became watery. Now he was just like he was in the past

"w-why are you giving me that look though?" you placed a hand on his chest "it's different now, Isn't it?"

"I don't see it written anywhere that I can't be the same person you knew back then" he chuckled before letting his hand fall back to his side

You laughed at his answer, maybe he didn't change as much as you thought he would 

"is there.. Is there any chance Demyx is alive too?" you asked, thinking about your best friend

"I don't know. He could be." he noticed your sad look "anyway.. Let's go back. I still gotta find Isa"

"Isa? Oh, Isa.. I see. Then I'll help you, Axel" he caressed your cheek and you two went back to Ienzo for a quick briefing. 

 

Ienzo explained you how things went for them and why they came back to their bodies and hearts and how, Axel was in the back of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed

"so you came back like.. Right away after being killed?" you curiously asked

"yeah. But Isa and Even didn't appear with us and there's no obstruction that wouldn't allow them to be back here, so I don't know what went wrong. Maybe they didn't come back at all"

"do you think Demyx could have found the way back?"

His eyes widened "Demyx.. I don't know. But a connection can help, and you got a strong connection with him" he pointed at your chest

"anyway, want to know something interesting about Lea?" he whispered in your hear

"oh sure, what is it?"

He turned to Axel, rising his voice " Axel, I was thinking.." 

"name's Lea" he said right away, before yawning, then silence

"what is it?" he asked, bothered

"nothing"

Axel tilted his head to the side, you giggled

"he corrected me, he didn't correct you though" Ienzo smiled at you, whispering again

"oh. True. Let me try again" you throttled to him "Axel, where do you wanna search for Isa?"

"huh? I don't know, I already searched where I thought he could be, he wasn't anywhere though."

You started laughing more than you normally would, he frowned in response "what's wrong?"

"nothing, it's a secret"

You heard Ienzo holding in a laughter too

Suddenly, your phone vibrated, you had decided to keep the phone from when you were in the organization, in case you needed it. You looked at it, a message arrived from Demyx with the water emoji, your hand trembled

"he's alive! He's alive!"

Axel was weirded out "who?"

"Demyx! I.. I can't send messages he.. Oh" your smile faded "he blocked me? After sending me that emoji, maybe as a person he doesn't like me anymore.." you sighed, facing reality 

"who cares about him anyway? You got me" Axel said in a cocky voice, cheering you up

"oh about that, you wanna come eat something?" the red haired man added

"eat? Huh.. Where?"

"at home"

"a-at home?!" you blushed, he looked a bit confused at your reaction

"what's wrong?" he genuinely asked "scared of the wolf?" then he leaned down towards you, his Axel-like expression came back, combined with the smirk, it seemed to you as if his was a mixed personality now, and he could switch whenever he liked for whatever he liked

"ahem. Not here. Please" Ienzo was slightly blushing now and you blushed way more, being reminded that he was there, while Axel didn't seem bothered

"alright. Let's go" he grabbed you by the wrist and dragged away like he used to do sometimes when he was a Nobody, guess he remembered some automatic actions, even his grip was strong, as if you would want to escape him somehow.

Just outside of the castle, next to its left side, there was a house, similar to all the others in Radiant Garden, the two of you went in. His house was quite big and warm, there was a bit of dust, but not too much

"I came here yesterday and cleaned all up, also, I bought something to eat so there's enough in the fridge to cook something" he put a carrot in his mouth and munched as you sat at the counter, since in his kitchen there was a counter like in pubs.

"do you want me to help you cook?"

"I can do it myself. You already cooked for me once" he was picking the ingredients

"as you wish.. Anyway Axel, what is it like to feel your emotions again?" you asked as he took a frying pan and started cooking some vegetables

"I don't know. Weird at first, but they didn't hit all at once, I think it would have been unbearable if it happened" he stated, serious 

"what happened to you when I faded?" he looked at you, standing on the other side of the counter

"oh.. I Kinda.. Uhm.. Wanted to die or something.." you muttered, looking away, but he lifted your chin up to make you look at him, he sternly stared back

"speak up" 

You blushed, you loved when he did that "I felt like my heart broke, and all I could do was.. Wait for death, it didn't come though, Sora rescued me, not that I wanted to be saved.. But now I'm glad he did."

His expression softened up again, checking on what he was preparing "I see. Nobodies don't look like it, but we're- they're more fragile than humans in certain aspects, fading is easier" then he came back to you with a plate, it looked good

"before eating, I got a question" you started, he came to your side with his plate too

"ask away" he sounded teasing with that cadence of voice of his, you didn't know why

"uh.. Can you still burn things? I mean.. Do you still have those powers?"

A half smile shaped his lips as he got up, grabbed your wrist and roughly pushed you on the couch, making you whimper. He put himself over you and his left hand went to your abdomen, under your shirt, you felt heat rising

" w-wait! I got it, I got it! The meal will cool tho-" he kissed you again, inserting his tongue too, you let out a moan muffled by his mouth, as you felt the bulge in his pants pressing against your crotch, it was easier to feel it since you had a skirt on. The two of you eventually interrupted the kiss since you were pressing your hands against his chest

"wait Axel.. Wait" you were really embarrassed, while his level of expression fell to zero. He inserted his gloved index in your mouth, preventing you from talking again. 

"suck it" he looked focused on your lips and you did as he ordered, sucking and licking his slender gloved finger whiel his left hand reached a stable temperature, making you feel pain, but not too sharp since Axel made it constant. Your mouth was producing more saliva as the situation turned you extremely on, he removed the finger from your mouth and saliva dripped from it, with that same hand he tested how wet you were and you softly moaned at the contact. 

 "Axel, I said n-no, wait a second.." even though you wanted, you needed to take a breath, maybe realize what was happening first. Axel unzipped his coat and trousers, freeing himself from the obstructing cloth I between your two genitals, then he moved your slips to the side and his hand went to your neck, keeping you still

"Axel, sto-" your back arched and you let out a loud moan as you felt his penis all pushed inside of you, he started thrusting right away, not allowing you to adapt to him

"where you about to say 'stop'? Why don't you say it now?" his teasing voice made you shiver, his hand still squeezing your neck

"huh? Why are you fighting me? You're so wet.." he commented, ignoring the pressure of your hands against his chest

You moaned loudly, putting your hands to his wrist "I can't hold.."

He thrusted harder inside of you, then gave a last push, making you ogasm and cutting a moan out of your throat by squeezing it, he came too. You were now trembling and shivering as he released you, he sighed

"is everything fine?" Axel looked at you, as you were panting loudly and he smirked, seeing you in that condition

"so, who's better Axel or Lea?" he teased with a cocky voice

"..you" 

He chuckled, your answer earned you a kiss, then you looked towards the kitchen counter, still panting "huh.. What about the food?"

He sighed "guess I'll cook again" 


	22. Search

"what's this?" Axel asked while the two of you were walking back to the laboratory, he pointed at your necklace 

"oh it's.. the last gift from Demyx" you touched your pocket, feeling your phone in there "I hope he's alright.."

"I'm sure he's fine. With that stupid mind of his, he sure isn't a threat for anyone" he commented with a cocky attitude

"hey, he's quite smart, Axel, you just don't know him well enough" you scoffed as the two of you entered the laboratory

"Hello Ienzo" you greeted him, he was still working on the computer, focusing on his studies

"hello, did you have fun?"

You blushed at his question in embarrassment, Axel replied instead "more than you think" his tone of voice actually let him understand everything without any regard.

The scientist waved his hand "alright, don't tell me the details. Anyway Lea, you wanted to learn how to wield a Keyblade, didn't you?" 

You looked at Axel, eyes widened "you can.. Wield a Keyblade?"

He shook his head "not yet, but I will"

"oh, I think Master Yen Sid can help you then! Let's go" you grabbed his hand and tried pulling him, but he didn't move

"huh, I don't think I'd be welcomed" he said as a statement, it didn't seem to bother him too much though. 

"oh you'll be! Yen Sid already knows about you, come on! I want you to meet him!" you were happier than you thought you would be, after all Yen Sid was like a relative to you.

Axel opened a portal "alright, come on"

"no wait, I can't.. I can't go in there"

"why not? You've been traversing them for most of the time when we were in the Organization" he was holding you by your wrist, halfway inside the portal

"I'm frail to darkness now, when.. When you faded I kind of let me go and stayed inside one for a lot of time, that's why.. But.. How can you still go through them?" you were more astonished by his ability than your fears

"guess my heart is stronger than I thought it could be" he said with a dreaming voice

"but okay, let's go your way"

 

The two of you used the Gummiship to reach the magical tower of Yen Sid, you slammed the door open as you entered his studio on the highest section of the building. 

"Master Yen Sid! Look who I found!" your smile was so bright, you almost blinded him, he didn't look happy or anything, impassible. 

"I see. You found the lost soul you were longing to meet again. But please, I must ask you to calm down, there's an exam taking place" he gestured towards Sora and Riku sleeping on the floor with their backs to the wall. 

"through the sleeping worlds?" you asked, a bit worried for them, you were quite familiar with that kind of exam

"yes. I had no other choice, seen the circumstances."

Axel stepped closer to the desk after taking a look at the two sleeping wielders "I want to wield a Keyblade too, that's why I'm here." 

He crossed his arms, waiting for an answer.

"it's quite improbable since-"

"Master Yen Sid, let him try. He will make it" you interrupted him. The master was in deep thoughts for a while until he decided to let him partake in the test too.

Axel sat down on the other side of the room and, thanks to Yen Sid's magic, he slept, you were left there to wait.

"why did you think it was a good idea to bring him into these matters again?" your master asked, while you were observing your partner sleeping face

"I've been selfish. I didn't want to get him involved again, but after all.. he would've come back by his own, since he's not only looking for Roxas, but for Isa too" you sighed, his sleeping face was so beautiful and peaceful. 

"he surely was also looking for you, Y/N"

Your heart felt warm hearing those words, a smile appeared on your lips as if you didn't think it was possible before "y-yeah..."

"by the way, if you want to go look for your friend, you can go, permission granted"

"oh, Demyx?" you immediately saddened "but what if there are some inconveniences here? What if something bad happens? I gotta be here for Axel" you turned to face the Master, hands on the wooden table now

"if anything happens, I will communicate it to you immediately. Now go, bring your friend back"

You slowly nodded, finally convinced, then kneeled down next to Axel's body and kissed him on the cheek before going away. 

 

You were alone again for the first time in a while. As weird as it sounded, you missed the organization, you missed all of the members too, they were dead now though, and you couldn't go back. The only thing you could do was finding Demyx', or what was left of him, and take him with you, if he wanted to come, that is.

You checked the beast's castle, the neverlands, the Olympus, mainly the Olympus, but no sign of him, you had no clue. 

You decided to go back to Radiant Garden, to see if you could figure something out. After all, wandering around the world without a clue wasn't a good strategy. 

 

You looked around the castle, inside, in the laboratory again, and even read some secret reports, but nothing could be found, so you decided to look for an ice cream to buy and rest a little. 

The only ice cream selling shop in town was a small one and it didn't have the sea salt ice cream, so you let it pass. As you looked towards the castle, you saw a black coat swishing through a side street and immediately followed it "could be.. Demyx?" 

You chased him until you arrived to a solitary dead end, after a tunnel, the person was now cornered and had nowhere to go

"Demyx! Is that you?" the man had the hood on, and you couldn't recognize him, so maybe it wasn't your friend, even though the height seemed the same

"go away" he said "I was just.. Checking on you, but we're on opposite sides" his voice felt distant

A smile appeared on your face and your eyes became watery "Demyx!" you stepped ahead, it was him, but with his powers he held your ankles and blocked you, coming closer and removing his hood. Your heart ached seeing his light orange eyes revealed, fueled with darkness 

"you.. That's.. Why are you on the enemy's side? Why did you give in like that, Demyx?"

"hey, it's more complicated than that. But anyway, I can't leave the new organization now, I'll do it then, but not now. The problem is.." he gestured, quite troubled "I was ordered to kill you"

"new organization?" your fists clenched "so.. You're gonna do it?"

"nah, you're gonna do something for me" he noticed that you had the necklace he gave you and stopped for a second, before starting again "you have to stay hidden. I'll tell them I killed you, and when I contact you, you can pop up again, alright? And we'll meet" 

You nodded as the water holding your ankles disappeared "Demyx, before you go.." you stepped closer and hugged him, he wrapped his arms around you too, in a soft and gentle way. 

"I missed you, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.." you whispered

He didn't say anything, just patted your back before disappearing. You held in a sob before heading back to your ship as a message from Yen Sid arrived, asking for a hand. 

 

You dashed there as fast as you could, and slammed the door again, instinctively looking at Axel, still sleeping "did something happen?!"

"indeed. But please, calm down" you noticed that Riku was awake, he spoke

"Sora's trapped in there, Xehanort is trying to make of him one of his vessels, Lea came to help, but Sora still isn't waking up, I have to go into his heart"

"oh.. Is there something I can do? Anything?"

"Lea isn't waking up either" the master informed you, worry appeared on your face, you kneeled next to him

"Axel.. What the hell are you doing in there.. " you sighed before turning your head to the master

"do I have to awaken his heart?" 

"I think he will be fine just with you by his side" you thought you heard him giggling, but who knows.

Donald and Goofy came to see how Sora and Riku were doing too, but you didn't mind them. 

You caressed the red haired man's cheek, softly brushing your thumb on it

"hey, maybe it's just like the sleeping beauty" Donald commented, laughing all by himself as Goofy scolded him right after

You didn't appreciate the comment, but you took it into consideration. You put both of your hand on his cheeks and closed the distance between the two of you, softly kissing him, after a short time, you felt his gloved hand on the side of your neck, and he kissed you back. You interrupted the kiss to look at him, his lips showed a smirk

"I'm back"

You blushed "h-how long have you been awake?" 

"ah, I see you're awake" Yen Sid stated a second after you, you and Axel got up

"just enough to hear the sleeping beauty part" he looked at Donald and you saw the duck shivering at his cold glance

"look, Axel I still don't understand what you're helping us for" Donald crossed his arms, turning his back at him

Axel sighed "name's Lea, got it memorized? Not Axel"

Everytime you heard him saying that, you felt even more proud, as if you were granted the permission to call him a name the others couldn't really understand

"oh, what did you do when I was asleep?" he asked, looking at you

"I went looking for Demyx, about that, Master Yen Sid" you addressed the old man

"alone?" Axel was calm, it was just a simple question, but you blushed thinking that maybe this time he really cared about you

"yeah. But.. Nothing dangerous happened." you touched your necklace "Demyx said he was instructed to kill me, in Radiant Garden, but then he told me to stay hidden instead, or they would kill him for his failure. Plus.. He's half Xehanort, his eyes were light orange."

You knew about Xehanort, your old master told you about him and you even met him when you were younger, an old man, quite creepy you'd say, but incredibly powerful

" I see.. We must stay alert then. Let's wait for Sora's awakening first, Riku is helping him right now" the master informed you. 

Axel turned around a chair and sat on it, dropping his arms on its backrest, you stared at him for too long and he noticed

"huh? What is it?" he asked, wondering if something was wrong

"n-nothing.." you looked away, he was so handsome, you just couldn't stop looking at him, you heard a chuckle

"Axel, tell us about your plan against us, you're undercover, right?" Donald spat, he literally spat all over the floor talking, Goofy was exasperated and hit him on the head, making him whine

"name's Lea, first. Second.." he sighed "I'm not undercover, I haven't even got a heart-" he stopped, frowning

"I mean.."

You went by his side "what? You didn't memorize it?"

"shut up.. I meant that I even got a heart now" he rolled his eyes back

"Donald, don't be that cruel with Axel, he got memory problems" you scoffed, then felt your wrist burning and noticed that your sleeve was on fire

"eek!" Donald used the water magic on you, but he used too much, so now you were all wet. You looked at Axel, who let out a low chuckle

"I didn't really mean to set it on fire like that, well, I must have used too much power" his cocky voice made your cheeks redden even though you should be angry at him. 

You giggled "next time I'll use water magic on you, so you won't laugh anymore"

"Demyx did it already" his expression shifted from a normal one to a teasing one in a second " _don't you remember?"_ if you weren't already wet, you would certainly become even wetter after how he teased you with that sentence, alluding to your prank at him and how it ended. 

On instinct, you put a hand on your cheek, reminiscing, your heart was beating faster, until Sora suddenly woke up

"Sora!" Donald and Goofy hugged him

"huh.. Riku isn't awake yet?" he asked, confused

"he intruded your heart to save you. He'll be back in a while" you explained, he frowned in response

"are you still angry at me?" he got up and you fidgeted, nervous

"not angry.. I'm just. .Not happy. But Demyx is alive so, maybe, I will forgive you when I'll get him back" 

The Keyblade chosen boy gave you a warm smile "thank you" he said, before noticing the cake on the table in the corner and focusing on it instead

"cake?!" he ran to it, your eyes widened

"cake? I didn't notice the cake.." you muttered under your breath

"there's some for you too, Y/N !" Sora informed you, munching already

You looked at Axel's expressionless face, he looked back at you and sighed before gesturing that you could go eat it

"thanks!" you throttled to Sora and the cake. You didn't know why you asked him permission for it, you were probably still stuck in the Organization functioning process, means he was your mentor and also a superior, and you had to ask for permission. Some things aren't easy to forget, you guessed. 

 

 


	23. New organization

"I can't just.. Go undercover, even in the new organization, from what I understood, some of them are back and they know me, they know I got a heart, I even betrayed them, I mean.. I left them to follow Axe-"

"well can't you just become half Xehanort like the others to infiltrate better then?" Sora asked, seriously thinking about it with his eyes looking far away and a thoughtful hand on his chin

Axel was standing next to you, now sternly staring at Sora with his arms crossed, Sora trembled and braced himself for the chills he gave him with a single look

"I-I.. I didn't mean to offend.." he stuttered, waving his hands in front of him

"now, now. No need to be so nervous. It's indeed a terrible menace, this new organization, but we have time to prepare ourselves." Yen Sid perfectly knew how critical the situation was. 

Days had passed since the mark of mastery exam, and you were together anew, to gather the lights and fight Xehanort.

"You three Keyblade wielders will-"

"three?" your partner scoffed "Aren't you forgetting someone?" he stretched his arm, showing everyone his flaming Keyblade, your heart skipped a beat together with the others' when you realised that he really made it, a smile appeared on your face, proud, you knew he was worthy of one

"Axel! You made it!" you unexpectedly hugged him, he didn't hug you back as his Keyblade disappeared, arms dropped at his sides

"never underestimate me" he said with a cocky tone of voice and a half smile

Master Yen Sid couldn't believe his eyes, but quickly regained his composure and cleared his throat "I was saying.. You Keyblade wielders will be separated. Sora, you have to learn the power of waking"

"but I-"

"no buts." then the Master turned to Riku "Riku, you and Mickey will look for Aqua in the realm of darkness."

Then he looked at you and Axel "Lea, you and Kairi will face a period of training, I'll send you to the timeless forest, do your best."

Axel didn't say a word as you looked at him, that feeling of jealousy arose again in your chest, without a reason

"last but not least, Y/N, I want you to find out who are the vessels, and precisely how many of them Xehanort has already got by his side."

"if things go wrong, she'll have to face the vessels alone, and she won't make it" Axel was serious again, glaring at the master

"I believe she will do a great job. It's not that difficult compared to the undercover mission in the previous organization" the wizard nodded accordingly to his words. 

Your partner sounded slightly annoyed now "and she blew it, hadn't I and Demyx taken a liking for her, she would be dead by now"

Your heart ached for a moment and you looked down before replying "I'll do it. No problem" and you exited the room without opening your mouth again.

Actually it wasn't true that you would have died hadn't it been for them, you agreed with the Demyx part, but Axel in particular was the one you thought would end up killing you sooner or later, Saïx too, so his words upset you more. 

 

You throttled down the tower and sat on the steps at the entrance, trying to calm down by observing the stars, Axel came to you after a while, and you could hear his stomach growling

"huh, I really need to eat something.." he sighed to himself, sitting down next to you, you avoided his stare, he noticed

"well, guess I'm not welcome here" his voice sounded laid back, you didn't really want to talk to him right now, but when he was about to get up, you grabbed the sleeve of his coat, so he stopped and sat down again. 

"you have something to say?" talking about communication skills and empathy, he was still not good at it, even with a heart

"only Demyx kinda protected me in the organization, you were the one who came close to killing me.." you paused before picking up the sentence from where you stopped "and you spoke like I'm not good enough to go on this mission.." you whispered "you'll even train with Kairi.." still looking down

His hand went to your jaw and directed your face towards himself, he looked dead serious and the sight gave you the chills, as always, certain things would never change, you thought. 

"you should be looking at me when you speak" he said, his eyes went to your lips and then back to the previous target, the emerald iris was mesmerising

"I.. I said.."

"I know what you said, fact is, I could have killed you and I didn't, if your mentor was directly Saïx, you would be dead for sure." you swallowed listening to him "And I simply don't trust what could happen on your mission. You aren't undercover anymore now, you're an enemy to them."

You felt stupid for having thought differently before, you wanted to look away but you couldn't since he was holding you still, his hand slid to your neck, feeling his fingers on it again made you feel unmotivated heat, you blushed

"about Kairi.. You're telling me you're jealous of a kid? She's almost half my age, more or less" a smirk appeared on his face and Axel chuckled

"m-maybe.." you stuttered "I think you'll get along with her.."

"we'll train together, I'll have to. I bet she still believes I'm a bad guy too"

You tried pushing away his arm "that's not helping my doubts!"

He let out a low chuckle at your reaction before getting closer to your lips, you spoke "a-anyway, aren't you a bad guy, number eight? Huh?" you teased him, trying to put up a sensual voice 

"only if you do something you aren't supposed to" his tone became a whisper as his lips touched yours, his hand started squeezing and you felt overpowered by him again, it was the feeling you had almost everytime he did something to you, and it was a huge turn on

"hey! What are you doing?" Sora put his arms on his hips, looking at the two of you from behind, Axel interrupted the kiss and let you go, just to look at Sora with an annoyed look, you jumped up instead, almost falling down the stairs, your cheeks were even more red

"n-nothing!" you waved your hands in front of him

"we were kissing, and it would have been better without your interruption" your partner cynically said

"A-Axel!" you almost yelled at him, embarrassed, he got up and his stomach growled again

"I need something hot to drink, let's go before the old man sends me to the timeless forest with that girl"

"the girl got a name" Sora crossed his arms, almost whining in Kairi's defences. 

"you want to use the gummiship?" Axel ignored Sora and turned to you instead

"well.. Yeah, you should quit with the portals too"

"they're useful though. Anyway, let's do as you say" he started walking towards the ship

"can I come?" Sora abruptly asked you

"huh.. I don't know.." you looked at the fiery man and he didn't seem pleased, his arms were crossed, as cold as ice

"sorry Sora, another time."  and the two of you were off. 

 

You went back to Radiant Garden and stopped at a cafeteria, it was empty and you wondered why since it was usually quite a crowded city. 

"there's a festival today, on the other side of the city, that's why there's no one here now" Axel informed you, after having received his hot coffee drink. You didn't want anything, so you exited the shop.

He was normally sipping the liquid, but you started staring at him

"what?" the red haired wielder asked

"oh.. Nothing, it's just.. Isn't it hot?" he handed it over to you

"try it yourself" 

You grabbed the drink and put it to your mouth, but it burned your tongue with a single drop

"ouch!" you whined "how can you drink it, it burns" you immediately handed it back to him

"heat doesn't bother me" he took another sip and drank it all at once, you could feel the burn on your tongue getting worse at the sight of it

 

As you started walking towards home, his phone vibrated and a message popped up on its screen "oh. It's time to go to the training" he stated, you sighed in response, not wanting to let him go

"it's a goodbye then.."

"a goodbye? It's just a 'see you later'  " he smirked at you and gave you a soft kiss on your lips, you grabbed his forearm as he opened a portal 

"w-wait! Just that?"

"I told you, it's not a goodbye, so I won't make it one" then he waved at you, disappearing into the darkness

You watched as the dark portal left an aura of shadows before vanishing completely. You weren't worried about him or about you, it was just hard for you to not be seeing him for who knows how much time. You checked your phone for info you could use to start your mission and take your mind off it, but there was nothing useful. 

 

You met Demyx in Radiant Garden the first time, so maybe you could find something else where he disappeared. You went back to the dead end where the two of you had met

"Demyx.. I don't wanna endanger you, how can I investigate without letting them understand that you didn't kill me?" you scratched your head and brought the phone out, messaging Demyx, hoping he unblocked you.

"how much time do you still need to get to safety?" you wrote, and surprisingly he replied right away

"I'm safe. Let's meet in twilight town, the old mansion"

A smile appeared on your face reading that message, you were almost done worrying for the sake of people you cared about. 

 

 

 


	24. Trap

Panting, you reached the twilight forest and the old mansion, you dashed past the gate and noticed a hooded figure standing in front of the door of the building, you smiled at first, but it soon faded

"I should have known it. You're not Demyx.." you summoned your Keyblade, alarmed by the unfamiliar man

"what did you do to him?!" you didn't know who that person was, but the energy he released wasn't a good one. Soon, he removed the hood from his head and looked at you with a slight smirk.

You stared at him for a while before recognizing that figure, you dropped your Keyblade and it disappeared touching the ground as the man stepped closer to you

"I see you recognized me in no time" he said in a low and teasing voice, adjusting his black gloves

"y-you.." you were upset, hands uncontrollably shaking and your heart was pounding, asking to bump out your chest

"you were beautiful back then, you still are beautiful"

You were paralyzed, his gray hair and light orange eyes shining under the sunset, he was now just a step away from you

"you're here to finish the work and kill me.. Aren't you?" you managed to weakly ask

He let out a low chuckle, amused by your reaction "I'm not" the man slightly shook his head

"just tell me.. Who are you?" you swallowed thickly

"I'm Xehanort, you still didn't figure it out?"

"Xehanort?" you gasped "but.. But Xehanort is old, you are.. Young" you frowned in response

"I'm his young self, coming from the past, I'm not here to explain myself, but as a reminder: the one that killed your dearest friends is still alive and kicking" his gloved hand went to your hair, playing with them with thumb and index, your heart skipped a beat.

You let him do it, since it was better not to go against such a man, you knew he was way too powerful for you

"you're scared? After all this time" he pretended to be surprised, teasing you

"it didn't pass that much time.." you muttered under your breath, looking away, while his hand didn't want to leave you alone

"for me it did, be thankful I'm ignoring the instinct to kill you here and now, since it would go against my own plan"

Your eyes widened "w-wait.. So you're not a Nobody.. I was told they were killed by a Nobody.." you looked down, in deep thoughts

"Yen Sid is good at making up lies sometimes, but listen to me.." from your hair, his hand went to your chin, lifting it up so you were looking at him. You didn't like the contact, but holding your ground against him would mean suicide.

"I didn't kill you at the time.. Not because I didn't notice you, but because you are the key"

"the key.. To what?" since you were in that situation, you wanted to make the best of it

"something I want but I never found. You'll come with me now, when I'll have it in my grip, I'll dispose of you too"

You frowned before remembering and changing the subject "wait.. Demyx.. Where's Demyx?" worry was visible on your face, the young man smirked

"he gave you up to save himself" saying those words he opened a portal

You swallowed, you couldn't believe it. On the one hand it was better off like this, you wanted him to be safe. On the other hand, you felt betrayed and sad, disillusioned. You stepped into the portal as he instructed, hoping darkness would corrupt you, take your heart, but it didn't, probably thanks to Xehanort's power.

 

The place you appeared in looked like a castle dungeon, you were locked into a small cell right away, at least it was better than the old one, the one with the dark blue table. You shivered at the thought of it.

Your jailor left you there, without saying a thing, just giving you a creepy smirk that you didn't like at all. Soon that day, another visitor came, with the hood on, he just stared at you without talking. 

"what are you? A guard?" you barked, annoyed "like I need guards. I can't use corridors of darkness and I certainly can't fit between these bars." you grabbed two bars and started pushing and pulling, hopeless

"I'm not a guard" hearing his voice, you stopped, you knew him. After a first moment of confusion, you kept pushing and pulling like nothing happened

"so you're here just to watch me in this state, right, Saïx?"

He removed his hood, showing off his long blue hair and his X scar

"are you having fun? I mean.. Are you getting a boner? Cause that's the kind of person you are. Knowing that I'm in pain and won't ever see Axel again pleases you, I bet my ass on that." your voice trembled for a moment there, thinking about it, so you paused until you recovered, he simply listened

"maybe when I'll be useless you'll be happy to kill me yourself, how much did you dream of it? Huh? You're sick of me aren't you? You said tha-" he grabbed your throat through the bars of the prison, making you shut up

"yes. I'm still sick of you. No matter how hard you try to understand me and no matter how I have no heart, I'll enjoy every little bit of your death" 

You were surprised to hear those words, but had no time to think about it since you were literally choking, he pushed you back, making you fall and pant loudly, touching your neck in sign of protection. 

"by the way, you're wrong when you say you won't meet Lea again. You will meet him, he'll die in front of you, like Demyx, and then I'll let you live for a while with that suffering before killing you too" you thought he would soften up after the conversation in the Neverlands, he turned out even worse

You put a hand on your chest as you got up, feeling that pain already "you don't have a heart.. Why do you want to do this to me? Why do you hate me so much? Just because you're jealous!?" you shouted at him with your back against the wall, away from the bars

"remember, I don't have a heart, but I know way too well how to injure one" his voice gave you the creeps

"I'm sure you don't want to kill Axel, you don't want to do that. He is your best friend.." you added almost in a whisper

"when we were human, maybe. Now he's just a traitor" he turned his back at you and walked towards the stairs

"of the organization or you?" you managed to let him hear before he definitely went away. 

You slid against the wall and sat down, tears falling down your eyes, you were trapped, and if the thirteen vessels were in that building, you were done for. 

You checked your pocket, remembering your phone since it vibrated, the screen showed a messaged from Demyx

"I'm sorry" it said. You wiped off your tears and held in a sob

"stupid Demyx, I trusted you.." you whispered to yourself

"you trusted who?" you heard a feminine voice from the other side of the bars, pitifully, you knew who it was. 

"hush Larxene, I'm not in the mood as you can see" your voice didn't match your sentence, you sounded weak and sad to her

The blonde woman chuckled "oh, I guess Saïx had a bit too much fun with you, I'll ask to take care of you myself next time"

You ignored her, a vein on her neck popped up "hey, I'm talking to you!" she yelled "your friend Demyx betrayed you just to save himself, that's the truth, even if you ignore me, little bitch" 

"Shut up, Larxene.." 

"you can't tell Me to shut up, you're the prisoner here, understood?!" electricity started overflowing from her body, you expected her to hit you with Thunder magic, but someone called her from upstairs and she had to leave instead, you sighed, relieved.

 

Time passed, but when you were about to fall asleep, a soft beam of water hit your face, waking you up, you slowly opened your eyes

"huh?"

"hello.." the voice said, shyly, you got up on your feet and stepped closer to the bars, the other man was as close as you were

"Demyx, what are you doing here? Go away. Go up with your new friends." you knew you were being harsh, but you had to

"no no no, it's a difficult situation, it was for your best!" he gestured, whispering

"so, lying to me, saying you had to kill me when it was all part of Xehanort's trap was necessary? I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to laugh with you again.. why did you do this? They wouldn't have killed you.. You're a liar" your hand passed through the bars to touch his shoulder, just needing to feel some contact with him

"you're my best friend, Demyx, but I'm not yours"

Silence fell before he spoke again "well, you'll see then" he barked "and also.." Demyx moved your hand away from him and turned around, going towards the stairs

"I'll try to convince the others not to hurt you too much" 

And he was gone. As far as you knew, when Xehanort will obtain what he wants, you'll be dead meat, so, how were you supposed to not get hurt? 

You sighed and tried dialing Yen Sid's number on the phone, then tried a few others, but it didn't work, you didn't know why, since Demyx message had arrived, maybe it was because he sent it to you from the same building, or maybe they isolated the place.

You couldn't do anything. Not even if they opened the cell and you got out. First, you didn't know the location, second, you couldn't use dark corridors, third, they were too many and too strong to put up a fight, fourth, they would get you back, or Saïx would crush you with such an anger your imagination failed to grasp, you swallowed, sitting back down.

Your eyes checked around the cell, on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling and even on the bars, if there was something you could use. You even tried summoning the Keyblade, but hitting the bars only sent you steps back. 

 

You didn't know what time it was, you simply knew it was passing, slowly, but it was passing, at times hooded members of the new organization came to bring you something to eat and drink, but a lot of time passed between one and another, you were almost constantly starving.

You started wondering if the current organization was as lively as the other one, and giggled thinking about Xehanort arguing with them, probably the new ones weren't that funny as the ones you knew back then. 

 

"Heartie, hello"

A figure appeared all of a sudden and you jumped on your feet, scared at first "Xigbar? So you're.. All back?" you tilted your head, wondering

"nah, not all. And Demyx and Vexen won't even fight" he vaguely gestured 

"but I'm not here for that, I'm here to set you free"

Your eyes widened and you got closer to the bars "r-really?" you couldn't believe it, but your reaction changed when he showed you a pair of handcuffs

".. Oh. What are those for?"

"prevent you from doing something you would regret, look, don't make this difficult, they sent me cause Xehanort didn't wanna send Saïx, he said you two kinda hate each other"

You rolled your eyes "kinda.. But.. where are you taking me?"

"upstairs, guess the young version of Master Xehanort likes you" he sighed, opening the cell

"I won't come" you stated, deciding to put up some residence

"come on, don't make me waste my time" he grabbed your arm to cuff you, but you held onto the bars of the cell with the other one. So he let go of your arm and grabbed you from behind, pulling, you put the other hand to the bars too

"I told you not to put up resistence, heartie" 

"leave me alone, you cyclope!" 

"how did you call me?!" you didn't let go and he neither

"what's happening here?" both of you stopped what you were doing and looked at the figure coming down the stairs, as soon as Xigbar left you, you wrapped your legs around the bar too, to not let go. 

Saïx didn't seem pleased "Saïx, what the hell are you doing here? Xehanort ordered you not to come down again"

"if you don't do your work in the right way, I'll do it, I'm sure she'll come with me"

You shivered hearing those threatening words, the other Nobody sighed "you take full responsibility" he said before leaving you alone. It didn't reassure you. 

"was it worth it?" he asked "putting up a resistance with Xigbar, I mean. So now it's me you'll have to deal with"

 

 

 


	25. Waiting

"Xehanort wanted to make himself a favor after all, bringing you with us. And thinking about it, you could benefit from that, so why all the fighting?" Saïx stepped closer

"w-wait! Leave me in the cell! No need to bring me up or anything" you said, still holding unto the bar with all of your strength

"young Xehanort is way more dangerous than me, yet you're afraid of me more" he slammed a hand against a bar next to the one you were holding onto, just to wrap his fingers around it, looking down at you

You shivered but didn't move "please, leave me here.." you muttered, looking away from him

His gloved hand went to your shoulder and slid to your neck, suddenly cutting your breath, making you gasp for air and remove the legs and hands from around the bar, as soon as you did, he grabbed your wrist with the other hand, then removed the one from your neck and cuffed your hands in the front, you were slitghly panting and your heart pounding.

Then he grabbed a metal leash and linked it to the chain of the cuffs, you looked at it, then at Saïx, it wasn't a good sign at all. 

The Nobody pulled you upstairs, holding the leash, and when you stepped there, you noticed how much that hallway looked similar to the one in the old castle, only the colours were different, it was all gray and beige, while the armchairs and sofas were white. No one was there, but soon young Xehanort appeared through a portal

"I see you finally made it, Saïx, I should have sent you from the beginning" he said, the Nobody didn't reply, he just handed the leash over and Xehanort took it

"you're dismissed" he said, the blue haired Nobody disappeared right away

"what do you want from me.." you said almost in a whisper, you didn't want to sound too harsh until his plans weren't made clear to you

"I told you already, I need you, now come with me, let's inform your little friends" he opened a portal and stepped in, dragging you with him. 

You two appeared on a shelf, everything around you seemed way bigger than it should be, looking down you noticed Sora, Donald and Goofy

"Sora?!" you asked yourself since he probably couldn't hear you from there unless you shouted 

"Y/N?! What's going on?" Sora asked, confused and alarmed, Keyblade in hand

"your foolish ally decided to be a dead weight for the lights, and let herself get taken hostage. You have to hurry up if you want to save her, Sora" he summoned his Keyblade and pointed it at your head, you trembled, not knowing about your future

"if you don't want her to die" you closed your eyes, but felt just a push and fell into another portal, appearing back into the place you came from, the hallway of the mysterious building you were previously trapped in. The hit against the floor stunned you, but recovering you noticed that you were now alone, Xehanort stayed in that disproportionate world. 

You quickly got up and shook your head, there were five doors and some stairs to go up and down, you knew where downstairs led to, so you immediately directed up, taking the chain in hand to not let the others hear its tingling on the floor. 

The room above was exactly the same, how could they keep track of their steps in here? You inadvertently bumped against someone, chills went through your body

"oh, you must be that girl they're talking about" you shivered, the man in front of you looked just like Sora, but with black hair and golden eyes, wearing the black coat, you analyzed him, he didn't look friendly. The guy started walking around you

You couldn't help but feel like a prey surrounded by predators, they were all around, not just the new guy you met, but everyone in there, Demyx and Xigbar aside, had no good intentions towards you. 

"I don't know who you are.." you mumbled, looking away

"I'm Vanitas, idiot, you should know my name" he scoffed in a dark but playful tone

"well.. Vanitas, I am but a prisoner here so.. Bye" you tried getting past him, but he grabbed the leash, you turned to him annoyed, seeing that he knew how to grab a damn chain

"well.. I could use a girl" he chuckled, grinning

At those words your eyes widened and you snapped out of your annoyance

"Y-Young Xehanort wouldn't approve" you immediately tried protecting yourself somehow, since you could imagine what his intentions were

"I don't think he would mind, he could use you too, when there's a prisoner, it's better make the best of her, mainly if she's a good-looking girl-" a hand rested on his head, making him stop in his tracks 

"this isn't what Xehanort told you to do" Saïx said, then he removed the hand from his hair

"yeah, but it's healthy and good for me, so get lost asshole" he pulled you to him, but before he could take you anywhere, Saïx grabbed the leash in the middle and stared at Vanitas, who sighed and went away after a minute of silence, cursing him

You looked at the Nobody in awe "w.. What the hell? I thought you hated me and wanted to see me dead, raped, whatever" 

"I do. But what goes against the orders, goes against the orders" he turned to you

"does it go against the orders though? Is there something that says.. Do Not Rape The Hostage?" you started blathering, sometimes anxiety did that to you, even though it wasn't the right moment

"you want to get raped by Vanitas? With me you were reluctant" he sternly said, almost toying with you

"no! No, surely not" you almost shouted, embarrassed and a bit offended 

"then shut your mouth. You'll end up like that, one of these days anyway, no need to rush it" he started dragging you downstairs, your heart was pounding fast

"one of these days? What?" you couldn't believe in what you just heard, you understood that they were darkness, but darkness doesn't really define the action of an individual, you thought

"Young Xehanort particularly likes you and some other members would act like Vanitas, we're not the old organisation anymore" Saïx stated, you were now back down to the first hallway, you started pulling in the opposite direction

"I gotta get out of here, Saïx! I gotta get out of here!" he turned around, not pleased by your behavior

"you can't get out. Shut up before I decide to kill you myself"

"let me go, come on! How can you be like this with the memories you got with Axel?" suddenly, his gloved hand went to your neck, almost making you lose your balance, you whimpered

"stop talking" his aura was changing towards pure rage, he started squeezing harder, either going to choke you, or directly break your neck

"now, Saïx, we still need her, remember" a deep and low voice entered your ears, Saïx loosened his grip and you immediately took a few steps back, panting, Xemnas looked at you and then at him

"the exit has been sealed, she won't escape this place, remove her handcuffs"

Saïx nodded and used the key in his pocket to free you, you stretched a bit

"finally! Thank you, Xemnas" you never had either a good or a bad link with Xemnas, he was the leader back in the old days and a scary presence, but you trusted him more than Saïx, regarding your life at least. 

"so.. I can.. Like.. Go around without getting killed?" you asked him

"you can" he said

"but I doubt it's a good idea" Saïx added, Xemnas didn't even turn towards him, he simply stared at you while you looked at the other Nobody

"still better than staying with you" you scoffed at scarred one

"little brat.." he immediately took a step towards you, but Xemnas pressed the forearm against his chest, stopping him

"don't lose your cool now, Saïx" the ex leader solemnly said before turning to you

"and you, with that attitude you won't survive a long period of time in here, no one can be trusted, this is not my old organization, keep it in mind" 

As Xemnas spoke, you looked down with your mouth shut, like a girl that was being scolded knowing she was wrong

"you'll stay with me for a while, come." he started walking away, upstairs and then in a room, you followed him, keeping an eye on Saïx as you walked. 

 

The room you were now in was almost identical to Xemnas' room back in the castle, except for the windows, there were none.

He sat down at his wooden table and kept reading a book that he was probably reading before. You were uncomfortable. You knew Xemnas, but you've been in the same room just a few times, you weren't sure how you should behave and you were even embarrassed, still, you felt something for some of the Nobodies, mostly Saïx and Xemnas, you wanted to shock them, not with Thundaga or magic, not with fights, but with words and actions, just to see how they would react, you were starting to sound like Axel. 

You thought about it for a while, reading some book titles in his library, a title in particular caught your eyes

"tales of a heart" you grabbed it and randomly read some of the pages, along with the last one, which said that connections are the strongest power a heart gets during its life, you smiled reading it

"what is it that's making you show such a heartful smile?" Xemnas was next to you, you gasped as you almost dropped the book

 "uh.. Ah.. Ehm.." your tongue paralized at the beginning "nothing, just a sentence" you finally said

"which sentence?" he looked down at the book and then at you

"huh.. This one" you found the right page again and pointed your finger at the line, he read it

"I see.. The power of a heart, I wonder if such a thing exists"

You turned to him right away "o-of course it exists, just look at Sora and Axel, Roxas, Demyx-"

"Axel had no heart, he deceived you into believing he had one" he sternly pointed out

"and Demyx, he's no different" the leader turned around, but stopped as you spoke again

"Xemnas.." you paused, gathering some courage "you're a great leader and I think.." you swallowed "that you deserve way better than this, and that deep down you care about... About us, members of the old organization" you put the book back in the meanwhile 

"it's always been a problem for you, understanding when it's time to give up."

You tilted your head to the side as he headed back to his seat, but you grabbed his sleeve, almost on instinct, retracting it as soon as you realized about what you just did

Under his look, you apologized. He arose compassion in you, he, so powerful and so magnetic, made you almost cry just looking at him. You felt sorry for him, for the things he would like to feel, but couldn't, and the heart he didn't have. 

So you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him with tears at the corners of your eyes, he didn't do anything.

It was way different than Axel, when you first hugged him, he still kept inducing fear in you, he was unpredictable, a real firework as Demyx would say, a danger. But Xemnas? Xemnas should be dangerous, and he was, but not when it was unnecessary, he wouldn't certainly kill you for a hug, you thought. Plus, he was predictable in his actions, less in his words. 

"you're feeling affection towards me?"

His question made your heart aghast, he evidently linked a hug to affection and love, a simple logical connection, yet, you were startled by the fact that he asked you about it

You kept hugging him, starting to feel like you weren't supposed to do that, so you parted, he was staring at you, emotionless as always, but curious, you thought. 

"I.. I'm affectionate, yes. After all the time I passed looking up to you in the organization, you became a sort of element I could certainly count on" you looked away, embarrassed for your actions and words

"as far as I know, I loved the organization, because you are Nobodies, but you felt so real to me.. Demyx became my best friend and I fell in love with Axel, and..what happened in there, sometimes was hilarious, sometimes sad, I know you couldn't feel it, but I felt everything, and the fact that you can't doesn't make it less real" you suddenly stopped talking, realizing you just threw up a monologue. 

"you are.. An interesting keyblade wielder, I see why Axel was so intrigued by you" he paused "but, Axel is a traitor, and you are too, traitors are to be punished" he went behind the desk and sat down, resuming his read 

"in your case, your fate awaits you, you will help us get what we need, and then you'll die, suffering for the death of your.." he looked at you in the eyes saying the last word "..connection" 

It startled you, the way he said it, how he said it, it sounded like a threat, the most subtle, the point that proved you wrong. You sighed and went to the door

"can I.. Exit the room?" 

"you can, go and risk it all, young girl, chase your destiny" you heard the Nobody saying as you stepped out and closed the door behind your back. 


	26. Unexpected turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading up to this point🙏

You got lost almost immediately inside the mysterious building, but at least you found the kitchen. It was as big as the old one, but still, it didn't share the same warmth you felt back in the World that Never Was. 

You grabbed a piece of bread and ate it, then drank some water before exiting the room and sitting on the couch in the hallway, you sighed, exasperated

"Y/N, hello" Demyx appeared before you and you looked away with your arms crossed.

"hey don't do that! I did nothing wrong" he complained, you ironically laughed at it

"funny, Demyx, that's not how it works. You took me away from Axel, when I simply wanted to bring you back from this new organization"

"but-"

"silence, traitor " you interrupted him, quoting a sentence he said long ago. You stood up from where you were sitting, he was still taller than you, but the frown on his face made him look as weak as a child, he shook his head

"what's this fuss?" a door slammed open and almost broke against the wall, Larxene came out "you two?! Together again? Ow that's heartwarming"

"shut up Larxene, you're bothering us" Demyx answered right away

"you shut up, idiot! Like you got a brain in there to speak!" she yelled, with a scratchy voice, you observed without saying anything

"I got a brain with more circuits inside than the electricity on your nerves!" he pressed a finger against her forehead, keeping her grumpy face away

"what did you just say?! I'll crush you!"

"for being the only female in this organization, you ain't got enough breasts to call you one!"

Her eyes widened "I'm not the only female here, imbecile"

"she doesn't count" Demyx stated, shrugging

You wondered who they were talking about, still, you appreciated the atmosphere that those two were bringing back, a smile formed on your face, then Xigbar exited a room too

"you, what the hell is happening here again? I was trying to sleep" the eyepatched man yawned, getting closer, you kept grinning

"why the hell are you smiling?" they all looked at you, you suddenly blushed

"o-oh.. Well.. It reminds me of the old times" you smiled at them again, but Larxene frowned

"you're a freak" she spat, then went back into her room, slamming the door shut

"what did you do, Demyx?" Xigbar asked the Nobody

"uh.. Nothing, I was just talking to Y/N and Larxene came out to complain about the noise" he stretched his back

"I see, well" Xigbar patted his shoulder "don't make too much noise again or I'll shoot your vocal chords. Goodnight" he went back into his room too, you took note of the position of their rooms.

A sigh escaped your mouth, turning to Demyx "listen, Demyx.. I would like to go back to our old times, eating together, ice cream in twilight town, the missions and all that.. Even the pranks to the other members"

"oh, wanna go prank them?" he looked enthusiastic, you frowned instead

"n-no! No, listen.." you put your hands on his shoulders "we can't go back"

"but you promised-"

"we can't go back, we don't travel in time, it all passed and you have to move on too. I know you brought me here with the hope of living the same moments again, reversung time somehow, but it's.. It's impossible"

He was looking at you, now emotionless, your pain was evident as you spoke "I miss those moments too..but please, understand that things have changed. You're still my best friend, and you'll always be.."

His hand cupped your jaw and his face quickly came closer, lips touched yours giving you a kiss, your eyes widened and as soon as you realized what was happening, you pushed him away, brushing your lips with your hand

"Demyx what the-"

"isn't that what best friends do?" he genuinely asked, you threw a pillow of the couch at him, hitting him on the face

"no, you idiot! That's what a boyfriend does!" you yelled at him, but after the initial anger, you couldn't help but giggle bit, as he started too

"you're stupid sometimes, Demyx.." you scoffed, smiling

"you are too, best friend" he came closer and patted your head, a moment of silence before you spoke again

"anyway you suck at kissing" you hurried to destroy the happy moment

"what?! Hey! I don't think the flare is much better" the Nobody scoffed, looking offended

"he is, actually, way better.." you blushed thinking about it, heat rising in your body "he's so skilled in that too, I miss him.. " you let out a hopeless sigh

Demyx checked if anyone was around before leaning down to your ear, whispering "I'll get you out of here"

"when?"

"later"

"later when?!"

"shh!"

"Demyx!" you looked at him, angrily

"not now"

You hit him on the arm "ouch!" he gasped

"why did you do that?!"

"because you're playing around without a plan!" your whisper was louder this time, and with a frown on your face you stepped away, walking upstairs

"where are you going?" he asked, standing in the same place as before

"I'll find the exit by myself"

You weren't that angry at him, just disappointed and exhausted, it was hard dealing with him at times, you didn't know how to describe him, if mature or childish. 

 

Doors and rooms passed your field of vision, but they all looked the same, up and down, it felt like walking in circles, maybe that's what they meant with "sealed", it was some kind of magic trick, evidently.

You summoned the Keyblade and pointed it at the ceiling, perhaps hoping for something to happen, but it didn't.

"something bothers you?"

You turned around, facing young Xehanort, he was closer than you expected, already curling your hair again with two gloved fingers, you hated it. 

"soon you'll give me your power and I'll finally find that book" his low voice sounded thoughtful 

You tilted your head at his statement, what book? And did it mean that you were going to die? You took a step back, and swang the Keyblade at him, but he blocked it with a hand, making it disappear within his grasp, a smirk on his face

"that was stupid, little girl. it's time to have the talk" Xehanort grabbed your wrist, dragging you somewhere, you tried to put up a fight, but he was too strong for that.

He brought you in what you guessed was his room, as big as Xemnas'

"well now.." he walked around you before positioning himself behind your back, you didn't dare to turn around and face him as he moved your hair from the back of your neck, exposing it, but doing nothing after

"..why did you kill my Master?" you found the courage to ask, with a shaking voice

"why do you ask? It's the past, the past cannot come back" he let out a low chuckle, both sarcastic and threatening, you shivered

"I need to know why.."

"to make you" young xehanort whispered in your ear, at that moment you turned around, on the verge of tears, hoping you didn't hear what you did

"w-what?" you stuttered

"thanks to that event, you developed your true potential. I killed your Master because of you, and I killed your friend because he was in my way.. To you" the smirk on his face linked to your emotional pain made you feel even worse. 

"that's.. That's impossibile! " you exclaimed, hurt. Stepping back you reached an impasse, but as soon as you checked, he pushed you against it, the harsh surface of the wall made you gasp. 

His hand went on your neck as you tried to push him away, you've been in that situation many times already, but this one was different, he kept you still

"what you must do, your only purpose, is break" he said, getting closer until your lips touched, his knee went inbetween your legs, pressing there, you whimpered as he finally parted the kiss, then immediately spat on the floor, apparently disgusted by the contact

"you're a brat, aren't you.." he wasn't as scary as Saïx, but you knew he was even more powerful. His hand cut your breath, causing you terrible pain, while his knee kept pressing

The other thing you were aware though, is that he needed you and so he would never kill you. You summoned your Keyblade, but again, it disappeared just with a movement of his hand, it was useless

"don't play this game with me" he threw you to the ground, making you whine in pain. You noticed him holding his Keyblade now, coming towards you

"I know that you think I can't kill you now. But there are many solutions to death.." he pointed his weapon at you, but before he could do anything, a portal appeared and Demyx came out of it, taking a hold of you and getting away.

 

You found yourself on the pavement of Radiant Garden, right outside the castle, shaking your head you got up, still confused and with a headache. Your eyes wandered to the environment

"this is.. Radiant Garden, I'm.. I'm out" a smile formed on your face, you turned around to see where Demyx was, he looked in pain, barely standing

"Demyx? What.." apparently, an attack from Xehanort's Keyblade passed through the dark corridor and hit your friend above the right hip, he was panting and trembling as if he was sick

"oh not again.." he muttered, you helped him stand up, grabbing his arm and pulling it over your shoulders just to walk towards the castle

"come on Demyx.. Ienzo will help you, he will"

"I'm vanishing.." he was touching his wound with the free hand, disappointment in his voice

"no, no, I won't let that happen again!" you used all of your strength to drag him to the laboratory of the castle, even Xaldin helped once he saw you. You two put him on a bed in another room and called Ienzo, who came running

"Demyx? Oh.." the scientist noticed the wound "I don't know.. I wouldn't know what to do, I mean.." you kept staring at Ienzo with hope in your eyes, he noticed

"..I'll call Even right away." and he was off

"Even?" you paused "Vexen?! B-but he's with the organization!" you were insanely alarmed, but Xaldin shook his head, putting a hand on your shoulder to calm you down

"he's with us, don't worry"

You swallowed, at least he could come and help Demyx, you could tell the Nobody was suffering. You were about to go check on Ienzo since he was taking some time, but your friend called you

"Y/N, stay here please.. In case I vanish" he giggled, but then whimpered for the pain

"damn it hurts.. It's tearing me apart, this wound.. Fuck you Xehanor-" he let out a moan of pain and Ienzo came in, visibly spooked 

"he's coming, he'll be here in no time, please hold on" he patted your shoulder, probably detecting your worry

In a few seconds a portal opened in that room and Vexen came out with some medicines and medical tools

"I should let you die, Demyx, for the samples you made me break that time.." the man noticed your worried and painful look and continued, clearing his voice

"but since I'm helping this side now, I'll do what I can, and stop whining, it's not that bad" he said, giving a first look to the injury.

 

Since Demyx wanted you to stay, you stayed and observed, it wasn't really a nice thing to witness. Demyx had to remove the coat and lift the T-shirt to let Vexen do his work, and you saw some burns, some blood, and sometimes you decided to look away. 

After that part of his medical care, Vexen pushed you outside and he came too, closing the door behind him and leaving the wounded to rest, assuring you that he wouldn't vanish. Relief spread in your chest, at least he was safe. 

 


	27. Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright this is the end, sorry for the delay but I caught a bad cold, I hope you'll enjoy!

A day and a half passed since Demyx was wounded, but he was now finally awake, as lively as always. Ienzo had already contacted Yen Sid, telling him that you were safe and back at Radiant Garden with Demyx.

You wanted to see Axel, you wanted to see him so much, but he was about to face a war and it wasn't the case to disturb him.

You were looking out of the large window in the laboratory, when Demyx dragged a replica in there, making you jump out of your shoes, not expecting to see what looked like a mannequin appear all of a sudden

"don't worry" the scientist's hand patted your shoulder "we need replicas to bring back Roxas and other friends, don't be scared" Ienzo giggled, he was so different compared to when he was Zexion, you could still remember the time you made him cry through the spell, feeling guilt in your chest. 

Demyx stopped, his wound still hurt him like hell, even though he refused to show it "Y/N, do you want to go see Axel? I can bring you there" he suggested

"no, no.. It's unnecessary, I don't want to bother him before the war or to make you waste too much energy" you shook your head, before a doubt popped up in your mind

"but.. Isn't it dangerous for you all if I keep staying here though?" you asked, Ienzo turned to face you and Demyx stared at you, frowning

"you see, Xehanort said they needed me for something, a..a book, using my hidden skill, and he was quite convinced, I think he'd try to get me back" you explained, gesturing a bit too much

"well, I'll protect you" Demyx announced, proud of his words

"shut up, you wounded dork" you scoffed and he cossed his arms, rolling his eyes back 

"Ienzo, where is the battle taking place now?" you asked to the blue haired man

"the Keyblade graveyard, but I don't advice you go there" he looked at his computer for a second

"you're not strong enough to face the vessels"

"I don't want to face them, I simply don't want to put you people in danger, I'll go. Please Demyx, open a portal for the Keyblade Graveyard" you grabbed his gloved hand with yours, hoping he would do that without complaining

"but.. But are you stupid?" his pitch of voice became higher than expected

"understand, please. If I go there none of you would be in danger but me, and that's the right thing to do"

Hearing your words, he sighed before freeing his hand from your grip, he couldn't help but think for a while, just to rise his arm to create a portal as a result. He wasn't looking at you, but keeping his eyes pointed to the pavement. Without saying anything, you stepped inside.

You had no idea why he didn't look at you, maybe he simply didn't want to see you go towards your destiny, maybe he thought you would die and didn't want to face it. In any case, it was understandable. 

 

You coughed, the wind blew some sand on your face. The place was a dry land, so empty, you guessed that a battle probably took place there.

You started walking through a canyon and reached an area full of Keyblades, all stuck into the ground. Your eyes shifted to some of them, all of those keyblade wielders that killed each other, you couldn't really understand why. 

Step after step you got closer to what looked like a labyrinth, on the way there you met Master Yen Sid, Donald and Goofy, holding a barrier up to keep the thousands of Nobodies and Heartless away, you asked if they needed any help, but they declined and you went ahead against their advice of retreating. 

You walked through a few areas before reaching a smaller area, with a vertical wall blocking the way, you guessed your friends were up there, but didn't know how to climb it. You tried a few tricks with the Keyblade, but nothing was enough, until you decided to make a path using blizzaga, sliding on it you hopped on the high rock and noticed both Young Xehanort and Xemnas, wounded and slowly vanishing, Young xehanort was almost gone already as you ran to your three allies standing in front of them 

"Sora! What happened?"

"Y/N ? Oh, nothing, we beat them" his surprise soon vanished and a smile appeared on his face

"where's Axel?" you were so pale for the fear in your chest that you couldn't think about anything else, for a moment, your heart stopped

"he's fine, he's somewhere in the maze-"

"you.." Young Xehanort chuckled, interrupting Sora, the two of you turned to him

"one day.. someone will get you like I planned on doing and you'll regret it wasn't me, bitch" he straightened up for the last time before showing you the middle finger and disappearing, it gave you awful chills, but your concerned eyes soon turned to Xemnas. You stepped closer to him with confidence. 

Sora wanted to stop you, but Riku stopped his friend himself, letting you get close to him

"Xemnas.." you started "Do you feel anything?" you asked as you saw his hand in his own chest, feeling sorry for him. He stared back at you

"I feel.. Loneliness, after all these years.." he sounded sad too, you used both of your hands to hold his right one, he didn't look impressed, but this time he probably was. The more he got closer to death, the more he started feeling. 

You took a breath "I know it's not much, but.. I'm connected with you, just like all the members of the old organization are. In my heart, you all will always stay alive and kicking, together." you paused "you could have had a heart, if you wanted, you know"

"a heart.. A heart is just pain.. "

You softly smiled at him "pain is being human though, Xemnas"

His left hand went to your head, resting on the top of it, almost in a sign of affection

"then it must take.. Incredible strength"

His body completely vanished and you even felt a tear slowly running down your cheek, your hand wiped it off before Sora and his friends could notice. 

You turned around carrying the burden of having lost someone who could have been so much more for you, yet had no possibility to.

Now that they were gone, Sora had to take care of Xehanort and you didn't want to be in his way, so you climbed down the platform since Riku and Mickey told you to, hoping Axel would cross you.

After a couple of minutes he appeared in the distance, getting closer together with other people. You immediately hugged him, as tight as you could

"I missed you so much.." you whispered, he looked down at you, a bit surprised before regaining his composure

"oh yeah?" 

Your muscles stiffened at his cocky tone of voice, your heart bumped out of your chest, but then he softly passed a hand over your hair

"I missed you too" 

You looked up at him as he leaned down a bit to kiss you, keeping your chin up with his gloved hand, your fingertips were now resting on his chest, you were holding the tissue of the black coat covering him as if he could slip away from you again any moment. You parted when you heard a cough form someone else, turning your head just to see a bunch of people whose majority you knew nothing about. Your hand quickly went to your mouth, wiping off the stripe of saliva that previously connected you and Axel. Embarrassment took you over, while your partner seemed unbothered

You eyed the group, recognising only a few of them

"Y/N ?" a voice called as a blond Nobody approached you, you smiled at him and he smiled back

"Roxas! So he did bring you back!" you hugged him and he did the same, happy ti see you. Behind his figure you saw another black coated silouhette, you didn't remember Xion's face, but somehow knew it was her. 

As soon as the hug was over, you stepped towards her "Xion.. Right?"

She nodded "I was told you came looking for me together with Roxas and Axel back then.." she looked more confident than when you were in the Organization

You offered her a warm smile "I did. But I could have done so much more before that, and I didn't, I didn't.. I'm so sorry.."

Her eyes quickly shifted to you, agitated "no, no don't worry! It's not your fault! Absolutely not, it's okay"

She seemed to have caught your sense of guilt, you felt an elbow on your shoulder and looked up at Axel on your right "hey, it's all water under the bridge now, we gotta look into the future" 

As he spoke, gesturing with his free hand, you looked at the other three people and frowned, searching for info in your mind, memories in particular, then your eyes widened

"you're the Keyblade masters Yen Sid told me about a few years ago.. Aren't you?" you looked away, thoughtful for a moment

"huh.. Aqua, Terra.." you listed under your breath

"and Ventus" the small Roxas-looking guy spoke up, with a slight smile on his lips 

"Ventus, right, nice to meet you all, I'm glad you're okay-" you stopped as Axel put himself in front of you, obstructing your vision so that you had to look at him

"by the way, what are you doing here?" he put a hand on the side of his head and slightly shook his hair, looking up towards the high platform made out of rock

"oh.. Huh.. Well.. I rescued Demyx" you babbled

"and?" the red haired man insisted

"and.. Young Xehanort told me that they needed me when I was taken hostage, so once I came back.. I realized I endangered the others in Radiant Garden, and I didn't want to." 

He sighed loudly, closing his eyes as his hand fell to the side of his body, then he opened a dark portal for you

" hey you shouldn't use darkness! " you scolded him, but his gloved hand ended up covering your mouth

" hush and hop in. It'll bring you back to the laboratory, wait me there."

Your fingers wrapped around his wrist and he let you push his hand down, making it slide to your jaw and then retracting it

The two of you looked at each other, his cold and stern eyes locked on yours, you couldn't hide your worry or the pain in your heart. 

You waved at the others and jumped in, finding yourself back where you departed first. Demyx, who was sitting on a chair in the corner with his eyes closed and crossed arms, jumped up 

"Y/N! he stepped in front of you and gave you a hug " are you Okay? "

The man stopped hugging you only to look at you in the eyes, he didn't seem worried, maybe he only acted worried, but as always you didn't mind, nodding

" I am, and he is too, luckily.. He'll come back after the last battle. I'm sure of it."

He snorted "well.. I didn't ask you about him though" 

"quit it Demyx-" a knock on the door, the two of you stopped and looked in the direction of the entrance

Ienzo wasn't there, maybe it was him, but why knocking if that was the case? Demyx stepped towards the door, but you halted him, grabbing the handle yourself instead

You opened the door, just to almost have a heart attack, a man with long blue hair and a X scar on his face was staring down at you with his new light blue eyes, you took a trembling step back, his eyes widened too

"hey what the fuck are you doing here?" Demyx summoned his Sitar, but the man held his hand up in sign of peace. 

You noticed that he wasn't wearing the black coat anymore, but a sweater, normal clothes. You squeezed your eyes shut and opened them again to see if you had hallucinations

" I'm not here to fight. I'm not even here for Xehanort's plan.. I'm here to apologize, and because I actually live in Radiant Garden" 

Saïx ignored Demyx now and just looked at you, you felt a stab in your chest, after what he did to you, could you really forgive him?

"so.. You.. You don't hate me now?" you tilted your head to the side

"I'm not proud of how I treated you, that's it." his voice was still cold, you guessed it was his personality after all, even with a heart

"so.. You still hate me?"

"I never said that" 

"but you're avoiding the question" you crossed your arms as Demyx stepped next to you after making his Sitar disappear

Isa sighed "I don't hate you, and I am not.." he searched for the right words ".. Sick of you, you actually remind me of when Lea was younger"

You tilted your head to the side again and suspiciously looked at him, Demyx spat out a fake laugh, making you look at him with a frown

"like we believe you. We don't, right Y/N ?"

You let out a sigh "I think his eyes are sincere. Let's give him a chance." 

Demyx' eyes widened, he showed him the middle finger and hopped into a portal with disdain. You weren't glad of his reaction, but Saïx had a heart now, he could feel again and you didn't want to let him down. 

"I forgive you, Saïx" 

"Isa" he corrected you and you showed him a soft smile

"let's wait together for Axel, alright?" 

 

Hours passed. The two of you found yourself eating ice cream first, talking about his past, then in a room of the dormitory of the castle, talking about your past and what happened in the organization. He wasn't bad, he was a fake apathetic, slightly showing emotions, but he laughed and he joked like a normal person, you could feel his good heart. 

You two bonded so much you fell asleep on the bed in his presence, around 2 am, you only slept around people you trusted, so it meant something, you didn't feel in danger anymore. 

 

A kiss on the lips awakened you, you instinctively kissed back the man, half asleep, until you opened your eyes seeing a familiar red hair. A blanket was covering you, and he was over the blanket. Parting the kiss, he went to kiss your neck, keeping your chin up with his hand, you finally came to your senses

"Axel? Finally, you're here.." as he kissed and licked your skin, your hands went through his soft hair, he stopped

"I don't like seeing you without my marks, these ones weren't made by me" the red haired man commented, this time getting back up and looking at you. 

"well.." you blushed "you'll have all the time to make new ones" a smile shaped your lips, but as his lips brushed yours again, the door slammed open and Isa leaned against the doorframe, looking at the two of you, impassible

You instinctively looked at him in embarrassment and pushed your partner away, failing but still preventing him from kissing you

"T-there's Isa, Axel, we shoul-"

"who cares about him anyway?" Axel's eyes shifted to Isa, looking at him before your lips touched and he started a deep kiss that made you moan for how good it was, even though you would have preferred not to. 

When you parted, he hopped down the bed and stepped to Isa, you noticed he was still wearing the black coat

"no need to put up such a show, Lea" the blue haired one said, his friend chuckled before turning his head towards you

"come on, the others are waiting for us" and the fiery man was off. Isa waited for you as you got up, trying to gain a composure

"uhm.. I'm sorry Isa.. But anyway.." you shook your head "did you cover me with the blanket?" 

He silently nodded in response and you smiled at him "well, thank you then" 

 

You two stepped out in the corridor, no one was in the laboratory, so you exited the castle with Isa. A large number of people was waiting there, joking and chattering, a few people you never even met. Everyone but Demyx, Kairi and Sora.

Axel approached you "the war is over. We're at peace, more or less" he sighed as your heart skipped a beat, you pressed your lips together. You couldn't really believe it was all over. 

Your eyes shifted to his, and from looking at the bunch of friends, he turned to look at you. Your hand brushed against his as your expression showed him that you were asking for permission to hold hands with him, he simply looked away before intertwining his gloved fingers with yours. 

A breath of relief escaped your lips and you smiled, before turning back to face other problems ".. Where are Demyx, Kairi and Sora?" 

"I was told Demyx had some business to attend to" he said with nonchalance 

"business? Weird.." you frowned, wondering where he could be

"and Kairi died. Sora decided to bring her back, but no one has returned yet" 

He wasn't really bothered by what he was saying, while you were kind of not fond of Sora, you were somehow affectionate and hearing that he and Kairi were gone, at lesst for a while, saddened your heart. 

"so.. What now ?" you looked up at him

"now it's our life" he adjusted his hair with the other hand

"together?"

"yeah, together, dummy" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I wanted to ask you, would you like some special episodes? 
> 
> I mean, for example, if some of you like Saïx, I could make a special "relationship" episode (smut included) with Saïx and the same main character, as if it was another dimension where the protagonist isn't in love with Axel, but with anyone you'd like to see her (you) in love with! Like.. One shots but connected to this main story, in some moments of the story, be it in the old organization, new organization, or radiant garden arc, your choice!
> 
> And also, I would like to make other special episodes, still regarding the main relationship with Axel after the main story, like at the beach or.. Anywhere you like. 
> 
> But please, remember the kind of stories I write about, I try to respect KH characters' personalities as much as possible, but I think I always add a bit of cruelty into it, do not expect any sweetness from me 😅😅😅
> 
> Let me hear what you think about this!


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